AIBU my partner messages another woman every day saying they love each other and I want him to stop.

[DebbieAdams]

I have been with my partner 2 months and noticed he is often on his phone. One day it was left on the side and I looked through his recent messages which I know is wrong but something made me do it. He is messaging another woman every single day, they talk about everything life work children, plans for the future and they say they love each other. I'm at a complete loss what to now do and how to go about confronting this?

You've been seeing this bloke for only a matter of weeks. Nothing serious. He's been seeing someone else, or at least wants to. Tell him to sod off.

This.

⬆️ this

Do you consider him an exclusive partner after 2 months??? Seems a bit quick. Move no on he's not exclusive with you.

Gordon Bennett, yet another 'I'm a doormat' poster.

Get. Rid. Of. Him.

2 months 8 weeks 60-61 days you cant be saying hes your partner hes not your partner you dont know him enough to call him your partner.
Sorry but grow up.

😐

100% - came on to say exactly the same thing!

I have a male friend, we send jokey messages saying ‘love you’ but we are not in love, just really good mates (I would never be in a relationship with him as he would drive me nuts). I don’t think he would continue with the jokey ‘love you’ messages if he was in a relationship though. We have been friends for years and if anything was going to happen it would have a long time ago.

Not sure I would be happy dating someone who sent those kind of messages though. You haven’t known him long enough to know if he’s being truthful so it’s just going to eat you up inside. For this reason I would walk away.

I like the way you threw in the fact her youngest child looks like his children.

He’s your partner after 8weeks?!

sorry but this is a man you’ve just met. He’s not even a boyfriend yet.

jesus.

He's clearly not a partner after 2 months and he loves someone else, so you dump the bastard.

Guys, it's half term.

As I said we have known and been friends with each other for 5 years and recently decided to become a partnership, I'm not sure why using that word has triggered everyone so much. The point of my post was 1 I feel confused by what I've read but also know checking his phone was not right on my part... their kids really do look alike aswell I think my head is just all over the place.

I appreciate the more thought out responses that it is ok to have life long friends and care deeply for them.

I just need to figure out what to do now, maybe say nothing? He treats me well.

You need to find someone else.

How about having some self respect. He does not love or respect you. Have you no self worth? Dump him now and don’t be pathetic

Eh? What’s there to be confused about. He’s two timing you. Get rid !

@DebbieAdams - it doesn’t matter what you call the relationship, or how long you have been friends, this man is being emotionally unfaithful to you.

Don't you deserve better than a cheater?

You checking his phone is irrelevant and shouldn't factor into your decision making. However it baffles me that you seem so confused about what to do! Surely your option is to either stay in the relationship knowing he loves another woman or leave because you know you deserve more.

What possible circumstances could there be to explain why he was sending those messages?

Seriously.

She's a lifelong friend, of course they talk about anything and everything and love each other and say so. Irrespective of any secret shared children.

You're someone he's been dating for 8 weeks, and who is already going through his phone.

Let's just say you're not right for each other 🤯.

Last few days of half term.

Wether he is a lifelong friend treats you well or whatever he is telling another woman he loves her, so what’s to be confused about?
I understand it’s upsetting that you’ve decided to become a couple and now this but the longer you stay with him the more upsetting it’s going to be, just be thankful you’ve dodged a bullet and get rid of him.
The fact that you saw these messages on his phone is irrelevant.

I mean, the solution here is obvious

I repeat: How long have you been a doormat OP? What's the point of asking if you know you're going to do nothing anyway? Find some respect for yourself - he doesn't have any, that's obvious.

Why on earth are you at a loss?

You're the extra. The third wheel. The one in the way.

Get some self respect, walk away from this messy business and leave them to it.

Don't even bother confronting, asking for explanations, or doing the 'pick ME' dance.

Just exit. You don't need to give an explanation. If he asks why, refer him to his text conversations with her.