AIBU my partner messages another woman every day saying they love each other and I want him to stop.

[DebbieAdams]

I have been with my partner 2 months and noticed he is often on his phone. One day it was left on the side and I looked through his recent messages which I know is wrong but something made me do it. He is messaging another woman every single day, they talk about everything life work children, plans for the future and they say they love each other. I'm at a complete loss what to now do and how to go about confronting this?

What’s the predicament? You’ve been with him 2 months, you barely know each other. He’s in love with someone else. Bin him. Now.

Bin him and work on your self esteem. You shouldn't have to as MN what to do, value yourself.

To each their own. If a boyfriend of 8 weeks was going through my phone and reading my messages and checking to see if I had any male friends - he would be out the door anyways.

Would a guy on here who went through his 8 week girlfriends phone and then dumped her because she had messaged a guy friend about her life be praised - I doubt it. He dodged a bullet.

And if someone needs to control and monitor my friendships and my phone conversations - they better tell me that up front. Zero interest in a partner like OP.

This is not the man for you.

Move on.

1. He’s a guy you’re seeing , possibly a boyfriend. Most definitely not a partner.
2. He’s allowed to have female friends who he loves.
3. If you don’t trust him let him go.

One of my best friends is married. We have known each other since aged about 15, over 30 years ago. I talk to him about everything, as he does me. I tell him I love him, as he does me. He is one of my two closest friends, and I don't think that will ever change.

But there is not, not has there ever been, anything romantic there. Thankfully I get on well with his spouse, and I know there is no jealousy there.

If I was to get involved with someone that decided that this friendship wasn't acceptable, then I would be happy for them to see themselves out. I wouldn't be binning a lifetime of friendship, not for any man.

You're confused about what to do?!?

Seriously?

'Bob, I don't want to date you any more.'

This.

I wouldn’t bother confronting him. Just tell him you don’t really fancy him much anymore/you’re not feeling it/any old shit.

How old are you both?

Sorry op dump his arse.
thanks IAmtheVampiresWife for making me roar of laughter and livid twunt for words of wisdom.

Why do you call someone you have been with 2 months your partner? He's barely an acquaintance !

Get rid,

My ds has several close female friends. Anyone who tried to be so controlling, isolating, and frankly stupid would have their sorry arse dumped.

Dump him!

And find some self respect.

You are the OW

Run for the hills

I don't understand what you are confused about. You are his shag on the side.

Seriously?
You need to ask this?

After 2 months he is not a partner.

A partner is someone usually who you live with, have a mortgage with, or a joint lease, and live as a couple. And is a long term relationship.

He is not even your boyfriend!

I am struggling to believe this.

OP it doesn’t matter if you’ve know him 5 years, he clearly isn’t relationship material if he is hung up on this other woman, don’t waste your time.

Oh come on, love

I hate this reaction from women on MN
Ask him - he's so far given you the reason that she is his long time close female friend.
Why is that not acceptable?
Do you not have close friends?
Do you not share your hopes, dreams, plans etc with them?
Do you sign off with kisses or a Love you???

I have 2 best male friends and we do all of these things. One I text or speak to daily. And I am now very close to his wife and my DH close to him.
We either go out as a foursome. Sometimes me and BF, sometimes DH and BF. Infact the wife and I are going on a mini break in a few weeks.

I had a crowd of male friends who I was very close to from teens to early 30s as they all married off I'm not allowed to be their friend as the wives think it's weird. So I see them occasionally at mixed parties.

I've had wives messaging back on their phones saying it's not appropriate to contact their husbands
Who I've known as friends only for 25 years or more, lived with, holidayed with and were a massive part of my life. Its really sad that women can't trust the person they have chosen to be in a relationship with.

I know you're only 8 weeks in. But if you've known him for years you surely know his character and maybe even the woman.

Fun fact. One of my male friends son is the double of my son.....there is no way he is is father. Sometimes kids just look alike.

Bin him. Immediately. No discussion, no debate. I'm surprised you even have to ask.

Not men. No.

@70sDuvet

Come off it mate. This is not the same thing at all as people controlling their spouses.

This is a brand new relationship. At that stage in the game you are supposed to invest in it and lavish attention on the person you are seeing. In no plausible universe would someone who was committed to being with a new partner be messaging other people all day saying they love them.

What on earth is the point of being with someone like this?

Get rid of him now.

8 weeks in, you're still dating. He isn't your partner'.

Dump him. Why would you continue to date this scumbag?

2 months is dating not a partner and it's obvious he already has one of those!!