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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be offended by GP comment?

280 replies

Macadamia1976 · 28/10/2023 08:04

I have severely injured my lower back. I'm in agony and can't move without pain.
I bent down, lifted a heavy double buggy up from the ground, twisted round whilst bending over to lift it into the boot of my car then overstretched to position it in properly. I did this really quickly and something snapped in my lower back and I suddenly felt searing agony.
After initial urgent care treatment and being diagnosed with a torn ligament, I had a follow up with GP for pain management.
Never seen him before.
He was in his late 30s, maybe 40.
He said "I fail to see how lifting a buggy into the boot has caused this."
I said "Well I was told in hospital it was a combination of bending and twisting my lower back whilst lifting a heavy object. Plus I have an old injury in the same area of my back so I think maybe it was a weak area..."
He said "No, I think this is wrong. It's not possible to be in as much pain as you say you are in from putting a buggy into your car."
At this point I was confused by why he was challenging my injury. I was in pain, and was there for a pain relief medication review.
He said "It's because you need to lose weight."
I said "Pardon?"
He smiled for a few seconds, then said "Yes, you need to lose a stone from your tummy area, if you don't mind me saying" whilst really smiling. "Then your back pain will resolve. You have done this to yourself by eating too much and the stone in weight that sits on your tummy is putting a strain on your lower back. It wasn't lifting the buggy. I'll give you more painkillers but you need to get rid of that stone of weight on your tummy".
I didn't even realise he had even noticed my tummy.
I was wearing trousers and a top.
I am 5ft 7 and weigh 11 stone.
I wear size 12 to 14 clothes.
I've had 2 emergency c-sections so I admit I do have a tummy overhang, but I hadn't thought of this as a problem, I just see it as a result of having emergency abdominal surgery 2 times to save my 2 DC's lives when they were born. I don't really think about it, I'm too busy looking after my DC and working hard in my job.
I was almost crying in pain during this appointment.
AIBU to be upset by his comments?
Or am I in so much pain that I'm feeling oversensitive.
(Edited typos)

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 28/10/2023 08:07

He’s a knob. You absolutely can put your back out when bending and twisting.

Vallmo47 · 28/10/2023 08:10

I’m sorry OP, he was massively in the wrong to say that. I hope you get the help you need.

Thisusernamenotavailable · 28/10/2023 08:12

He is a dickhead and a shit doctor.

Cablescablescables · 28/10/2023 08:12

What a complete twat!!! I have an old back injury and I managed to re-injure it by BREATHING WRONG in bed. Seriously, I was lying flat, all was well, I then took in an odd breath whilst rolling over and that was it, instantly scuppered myself, needed chiropractic treatment for a week and codeine to manage the pain! Honestly ignore him, he sounds like an uninformed arsehole who needs to develop some empathy and a bit more medical knowledge!

bananabazil · 28/10/2023 08:12

He is a twat. Ignore him.

PragmaticWench · 28/10/2023 08:14

Jeez, he's a rude and lazy GP.

I've also had two emergency C sections and it does leave your stomach muscles knackered, on top of the damage pregnancy can cause to your abdominal muscles. Have you been seen by a postnatal specialist physio to check your diastasis recti have knitted back together correctly? If not I'd ask a less bloody rude
GP for a referral, or go private.

I've had YEARS of back issues, including four disc herniations and my physio is convinced a major influence is the damage to my stomach muscles from pregnancy/c-sections and a massively weaker core.

For now you need decent pain relief, to rest from lifting and no rude arseholes going in about your 'tummy weight'. 🙄

Devilsmommy · 28/10/2023 08:15

Prick!!!! I've done exactly the same thing getting buggy into taxi. I'd be telling him to go fuck himself. Giving you a massive smile when he said it aswell. Ask to see someone else, he's quite obviously a useless twat. Hope your back gets better soon 💐

junbean · 28/10/2023 08:16

It's so disheartening when your body has gone through so much, then someone disbelieves you or minimizes not only your experience but the extend of the injury. Surely a torn ligament needs treatment? And he denied you that treatment. I don't know protocol on this but I think it needs to be addressed to someone higher up or something. Even if you don't address the issue with him I hope you can find medical care elsewhere.

Lemonyfuckit · 28/10/2023 08:16

I'm actually speechless. Genuinely, I would put in a complaint about him and see a different GP. I'm not disputing that sometimes doctors need to tell patients they need to lose weight (and I myself need to lose weight). But, (1) he seems to be dismissing the pain you're in (classic - how often since time immemorial have male medical professionals dismissed women's pain?!) by saying you couldn't be in as much pain as 'you say you are' based on what actually happened, (2) if you were lifting a buggy, OBVIOUSLY you have, relatively recently, had a baby. The repeated references to your tummy - er....has he failed to realise that's what happens when women grow humans in their bodies?! And (3) if he thinks it's only a stone you need to lose - being 1 stone overweight would absolutely not of itself cause severe back pain. You'd need to be significantly more overweight than that for it to be the cause of such pain (I'm not saying you are a stone overweight OP, just if that's what he thinks, I genuinely do not believe 1 stone overweight would cause severe back pain).

He sounds like a classic misogynistic dickhead male doctor and I actually would complain about him.

MariaVT65 · 28/10/2023 08:17

What an absolute cunt.

Did he actually give you good enough pain killers?

Either way, please make a formal complaint to the surgery and ask not to see him again.

Autumn1990 · 28/10/2023 08:17

Years ago whilst doing manual handling training they said many people put their back out over reaching for something like a paper clip. It’s definitely possible by bending and twisting. I’ve only had one CS and have a bit of a tummy but otherwise slim and I’ve lost core strength since the CS, I don’t know if this happens to everyone.

I hate it when medics comment like that, one did it to me recently on something beyond my control and I’m still cross

MattDamon · 28/10/2023 08:20

Random but are you sure he was a GP? A lot of users have reported being misled while being treated by a physician's assistant instead.

onawave · 28/10/2023 08:21

Wonder what he'd make of me. I trapped a nerve in my shoulder hanging the washing out last year.
He's a rude twat. I'd complain about him.

Beseen22 · 28/10/2023 08:22

I'm not often quick to say complain but I certainly would. You are in a healthy BMI. I do agree obesity can contribute to back pain, my DH had lost 3.5 stone and his pain that made him unable to walk 50m is all but gone but you aren't actually overweight.

Also twisting is the absolute worst thing for your back, every single time I have injured mine it's been a combination of twisting and over extending. Last time was trying to get toddler in car seat at an angle because someone parked too close.

Lurkylurks · 28/10/2023 08:22

He sounds kind of stupid to be honest. I don't get how it's so inconceivable that injuring your back could cause that level of pain but the mere existence of a tummy is a full explanation. I hope you have the option to never see this doctor again.

Lemonyfuckit · 28/10/2023 08:22

And also I would try and see someone else about your back and if it needs physio once healed a bit to get really better then do this - my mum has had 30+ years of a bad back that she puts down to pregnancy from carrying my brother for 9 months (he was a very heavy baby) so I think once your injury has healed it may be worth seeing a physio / seeing someone who specialises in post partum fitness eg core muscles as it does put an immense strain on the body and I think backs can become quite vulnerable, after all your body has been through a lot.

Hiddenvoice · 28/10/2023 08:25

He sounds awful! I would contact the gp and ask to see someone else. I would also be complaining to the gp surgery.

Leakyboot · 28/10/2023 08:27

He sounds horrible, and needs feedback to stop him behaving in the same way to other people (probably women) again, so if you feel up to putting in a complaint, that's the only way he'd ever change

Hope you feel better soon. Oh and I once injured my back putting a teaspoon in the dishwasher, so he's talking nonsense.

Beargrumps22 · 28/10/2023 08:29

Drs are always moaning about weight we all know losing weight can help us ut as you said you have enough to deal with as it is. you went there on referral from the hopsital to sort pqin relief so thats what he should have been concentrating on. AAlso he has obvioulsy never tried lifting a double buggy!

Blarn · 28/10/2023 08:29

Dh really injured his lower back reaching to fasten one of the dcs seatbelts. Back injuries absolutely can be caused by reaching and twisting, it's why anyone who does manual handling at work gets training. It's not the weight of the items necessarily its the posture.

See another GP definitely. Physio is also a really good suggestion. Pregnancy can wreck your core muscles.

Lurkylurks · 28/10/2023 08:29

onawave · 28/10/2023 08:21

Wonder what he'd make of me. I trapped a nerve in my shoulder hanging the washing out last year.
He's a rude twat. I'd complain about him.

No no it was nothing to do with hanging the washing - you need to lose 2lbs from that shoulder (and yes you should be able to choose to lose weight just from one really specific body part, even though that's definitely not a thing.)

MummyJ36 · 28/10/2023 08:30

I’d bet a million pounds he wouldn’t have said that to a man in the same situation.

please PLEASE complain to the GP practice managed. Even if you were vastly overweight or obese (which you clearly are not!) you were not there for weight loss advice or to be shamed for the size of your stomach. You could be recovering from an eating disorder for all he knows. Please complain OP, unsolicited comments about your weight and figure are not acceptable.

MummyJ36 · 28/10/2023 08:30

^ practice Manager I meant

2jacqi · 28/10/2023 08:31

I take it he isnt a popular gp at that practice???? never go back to him, make an appt for another gp and tell the new gp what he said. that is really offensive!

Prescottdanni123 · 28/10/2023 08:32

"This isn't fat. This overhang was caused by two emergency life saving abdominal procedures. Seeing as you are such an expert, I thought you would have realised that. Your powers of observation aren't very good are they" is what I would have replied with.

Seriously though, ask to see someone else and complain.

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