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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be offended by GP comment?

280 replies

Macadamia1976 · 28/10/2023 08:04

I have severely injured my lower back. I'm in agony and can't move without pain.
I bent down, lifted a heavy double buggy up from the ground, twisted round whilst bending over to lift it into the boot of my car then overstretched to position it in properly. I did this really quickly and something snapped in my lower back and I suddenly felt searing agony.
After initial urgent care treatment and being diagnosed with a torn ligament, I had a follow up with GP for pain management.
Never seen him before.
He was in his late 30s, maybe 40.
He said "I fail to see how lifting a buggy into the boot has caused this."
I said "Well I was told in hospital it was a combination of bending and twisting my lower back whilst lifting a heavy object. Plus I have an old injury in the same area of my back so I think maybe it was a weak area..."
He said "No, I think this is wrong. It's not possible to be in as much pain as you say you are in from putting a buggy into your car."
At this point I was confused by why he was challenging my injury. I was in pain, and was there for a pain relief medication review.
He said "It's because you need to lose weight."
I said "Pardon?"
He smiled for a few seconds, then said "Yes, you need to lose a stone from your tummy area, if you don't mind me saying" whilst really smiling. "Then your back pain will resolve. You have done this to yourself by eating too much and the stone in weight that sits on your tummy is putting a strain on your lower back. It wasn't lifting the buggy. I'll give you more painkillers but you need to get rid of that stone of weight on your tummy".
I didn't even realise he had even noticed my tummy.
I was wearing trousers and a top.
I am 5ft 7 and weigh 11 stone.
I wear size 12 to 14 clothes.
I've had 2 emergency c-sections so I admit I do have a tummy overhang, but I hadn't thought of this as a problem, I just see it as a result of having emergency abdominal surgery 2 times to save my 2 DC's lives when they were born. I don't really think about it, I'm too busy looking after my DC and working hard in my job.
I was almost crying in pain during this appointment.
AIBU to be upset by his comments?
Or am I in so much pain that I'm feeling oversensitive.
(Edited typos)

OP posts:
FunkyMonks · 28/10/2023 08:55

@PragmaticWench a lot of NHS hospitals won't operate on split stomach muscles I have this issue after my two the consultant told me the success rate of the operation isn't that great and can cause more issues.

SD1978 · 28/10/2023 08:56

Would love to know how he'd worked that out- given the last time I put my back out, I bent down, twisted and grabbed an empty plastic cup for water and instantly was on my arse in tears with the pain. He's a dick. Pure and simple. Don't go back to him for anything.

Kitcatmouse · 28/10/2023 08:56

He’s rude and wrong.
you can injure your back doing all sorts of mundane tasks- I see this sort of injury and history frequently at work.
you absolutely should complain to the practice manager (if you want to). This GP needs to update his practise, but it doesn’t surprise me.
so many healthcare professionals attribute weight to all manner of ailments/injuries.
sorry you had such a horrible experience!

stayingaliveisawayoflife · 28/10/2023 08:57

It's unfortunately a fact of life for many people. Yes I am obese even after bariatric surgery but that isn't to blame for all health issues! I went in with sciatica, 'You need to lose weight', I went in with vertigo 'You need to lose weight', kidney stone, yes you guessed it 'You need to lose weight.'

Yes I have lost ten stone and yes I need to lose more but please just treat my current issue!!!!

Flittingaboutagain · 28/10/2023 08:57

Absolute arse! I have a double buggy (not the lightweight stroller type) and have to be extremely careful and ensure I breathe out on lifting etc otherwise regularly cause some milk muscle injury. Hope you feel better soon!

ShoesoftheWorld · 28/10/2023 08:57

Nasty, misogynist bully. The repetition of 'stone in weight' (a stone? That estimate is based on what exactly?) and 'tummy' was deliberately intended to make you feel rubbish. Complain.

TreeHuggerMum1 · 28/10/2023 08:58

Please COMPLAIN to the practice manager. This isn’t professional, this wasn’t called for.
Sorry you’ve been through this.

WeeStyleIcon · 28/10/2023 08:58

I injured my back wiggling in to a pair of tight jeans, so I can totally believe you injured your back putting buggy in the boot. Every body knows it can be a very small movement that puts your back out.

bryceQ · 28/10/2023 08:59

I'm speechless I would absolutely complain that's honestly outrageous you poor thing ☹️

Sunandnomoon · 28/10/2023 08:59

How unprofessional. I’d complain. Make him think twice about saying something so stupid to you again or others.

laclochette · 28/10/2023 09:01

You should make a formal complaint and seek a second opinion. You also need to see a physio, no idea what NHS referrals are like for that sort of thing, it might be necessary to see someone privately, even just for some reassurance or perhaps for a treatment plan. Some issues require rest in order not to get worse, some require special exercises to recover, you need to know which it is!

Bonjovispjs · 28/10/2023 09:02

Doctors seem to blame weight for EVERYTHING, no matter what you're seeing them for 🙄

SheepBeepBeep · 28/10/2023 09:03

He’s an idiot. When I was 18 and weighed about 8 stones wet through (I’m 5’ 10’) I bent down to pick up my college bag, twisted funny and put my back out. It hurt like hell for months. Nothing to do with weight, I’d just twisted funny and pulled something. I think I’d have to contact the practice manager about his attitude.

Hope you get some pin relief soon OP. Bad backs are brutal.

Pollyannamex · 28/10/2023 09:04

What a dick!

I’ve put my back out sneezing before :(

HiCandles · 28/10/2023 09:04

I am a GP. This is utterly horrendous. He's both completely wrong and completely insensitive.
Twisting or bending and picking nothing up can cause a back injury, let alone a heavy object.
Definitely make a formal complaint to the practice manager.
There is a way to advise someone they need to lose weight and this wasn't it. He may be right, I don't know as haven't worked out your BMI, but this was definitely not the right approach to tell you about it. I'm so cross for you OP. I'm sadly not surprised because I know I have worked with some thoughtless fools and I occasionally have to try and unpick the damage done by a colleague's comment when the patient tells me about it later. This sounds like classic minimisation of women's pain - oh it's just a pushchair, must be light, women lift them all the time.

SheepBeepBeep · 28/10/2023 09:05

Also, wouldn’t a Dr know that you can’t just lose weight off your tummy? You can’t spot reduce fat loss.

LazyDays23 · 28/10/2023 09:06

Make a formal complaint. That’s disgusting.

nottaotter · 28/10/2023 09:06

That is out of order, bending and twisting even with no weight can injure backs.

Lockupyourbiscuits · 28/10/2023 09:06

What a ridiculous thing for the gp to say

this sounds like a herniated a disc which the classic twist bend lift manoeuvre - not a ligament
this is very painful and he’s an idiot

you need strong painkillers keep gently mobile and follow up with physio

he should have done a full examination and told you what to look out for

once you are getting better you can look at strengthening your back and things to avoid it happening again - a strong core is key

Hopefully sitting down all day at a computer will come back to haunt him and he will understand your pain himself one day

DeadButDelicious · 28/10/2023 09:09

Honestly you could go in with your leg hanging off and some of these doctors would blame it on your weight! 'Oh yes, I can see it's hanging on by a thread and we could reattach it but honestly have you thought about losing some weight?' Arseholes.

You absolutely can damage your back doing something seemingly mundane, my mum did hers bending to tie a shoelace!

I really would complain OP. Ask for someone else if you need physio.

CeratopsofthePharoahs · 28/10/2023 09:10

I put my back out by sneezing. Had a bad cold, was trying to get some sleep whilst sitting propped up so I could actually breathe, sneezed and..... yeah, could barely walk and couldn't bend or lift anything for a week.
Foundout many years later I have a herniated disc in my lumbar spine, right where the most pain was. Still hurts, but y'know according to the quacks it's "not that bad" and I'd "feel better if I lost some weight".
I gained weight as I slowly became less mobile due to increasing body wide pain.

Saschka · 28/10/2023 09:11

So, your BMI is 22, your abdomen sticks out because you’ve recently had a baby, you’ve injured your back as a result of ligament laxity due to the same, and his suggestion is that all of this is in your head and you are actually just fat and lying to yourself? And you should try to get your BMI below 20?

I’d complain to the practice. Awful advice, and I say this as a doctor.

dawngreen · 28/10/2023 09:11

Their latest thing is to push weight loss treatment on people.

Biscuitsneeded · 28/10/2023 09:12

When I was 19 and at university I was a few pounds overweight because of the beer. I was maybe 9.5 stone instead of 9 stone, at 5 foot 6, and I am an apple shape so carry any excess weight on my tummy. One day I woke up after lifting some stage scenery and could barely move - think I had trapped a nerve in my lower back. Was quite worried so went to a doctor (older, male), who also told me he couldn't see any injury and losing weight would probably cure it. I was so mortified I never told anyone what he'd said. Anyway, I'm now 51 and 3 stone heavier, and apart from a bit of sciatica in my second pregnancy have never had back pain since. Your GP is a nob.

Topjoe19 · 28/10/2023 09:16

Bet he wouldn't have said it to a man.