Page 11 | To think this card is inappropriate?

Hexandthecity · 2023-10-27T19:54:53+00:00

Saw this in a supermarket the other day. I find it very distasteful and almost upsetting. Surely if we're condemning sexual violence, we're condemning *all* sexual violence? Rape jokes are not acceptable, so why is a card joking about serious sexual assault OK?

EarringsandLipstick · 27/10/2023 22:51

None

I mean, I don't know the answer either, but I'd love to know your evidence for 'none'.

EarringsandLipstick · 27/10/2023 22:52

But this isn't about 'sexual assault.' It's about a greetings card!!

A greetings card joking (or attempting to) about sexual assault.

EarringsandLipstick · 27/10/2023 22:53

Bs0u416d · 27/10/2023 22:48

Give me strength OP. You were not offended by this. You saw an opportunity for virtue signalling. Either that or you had a total and utter sense of humour failure.

I'm not the OP. But I consider it offensive. I'm not virtue signalling. I find plenty of things funny but not attempts at making sexual assault a joke.

Original poster

Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 22:54

Moveoverdarlin · 27/10/2023 22:51

Oh come on, have a day off.

I did, it was yesterday 😊

OP posts:

EarringsandLipstick · 27/10/2023 22:55

You may wish to improve your deductive skills because that doesn’t begin to compute.

Well, you may wish to improve your English writing skills as that makes very little sense. 'Deductive' 😂

But apart from that, why doesn't it? If it's 'only' a cartoon, why would a cartoon showing assault on a woman not be, based on your argument, funny?

Do tell...

EarringsandLipstick · 27/10/2023 22:56

Moveoverdarlin · 27/10/2023 22:51

Oh come on, have a day off.

This phrase.

You're not the first person on this thread to post this.
It's such a silly dismissive expression.

BIossomtoes · 27/10/2023 22:57

EarringsandLipstick · 27/10/2023 22:55

You may wish to improve your deductive skills because that doesn’t begin to compute.

Well, you may wish to improve your English writing skills as that makes very little sense. 'Deductive' 😂

But apart from that, why doesn't it? If it's 'only' a cartoon, why would a cartoon showing assault on a woman not be, based on your argument, funny?

Do tell...

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/deductive

Definition of DEDUCTIVE

of, relating to, or provable by deriving conclusions by reasoning : of, relating to, or provable by deduction; employing deduction in reasoning… See the full definition

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/deductive

porridgeisbae · 27/10/2023 22:59

@EarringsandLipstick Google gives a few results for vacuum cleaner assaults but not using exactly this method/mode of entry. There were a few using the nozzle I think.

The things we google for 'love' of this forum.

Bs0u416d · 27/10/2023 22:59

Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 22:50

I saw the top half of the card and was curious what the joke was. I picked it up and saw a "joke" that in my interpretation was about sexual assault. Yes, I was offended. Not doing any virtue signalling, happy to give a list of all kinds of less than perfect things I've done this week, including several that MN would have conniptions over.

Show quote history

Well, that is fair. You are entitled to be offended by what ever you like. Though I think you should pick your battles but this probably shouldnt be it. This seems to be your first post on mumsnet and I wonder if you came here with the express cause of stirring some drama on a drissly Friday night?

HootyMcBoob · 27/10/2023 22:59

EarringsandLipstick · 27/10/2023 22:30

don't buy it and move on

I am going to take the 2nd part of your advice and move on ...! It's been depressing seeing how many posters are ok with this.

However, the idea that 'if you don't like it, just move on' applied to so many things is really trite - if someone objects to (in this case) sexual assault forming the basis for humour, they have a right to voice that. They don't need to just not buy it and move on, if they wish to articulate their view.

"If someone objects to (in this case) sexual assault forming the basis for humour, they have a right to voice that. They don't need to just not buy it and move on, if they wish to articulate their view."

That's true, just like everyone else has the right to not give a shiny shite about how offended they say they are.

Bs0u416d · 27/10/2023 23:00

EarringsandLipstick · 27/10/2023 22:56

This phrase.

You're not the first person on this thread to post this.
It's such a silly dismissive expression.

Show quote history

I think that is the point. Isnt it?

EarringsandLipstick · 27/10/2023 23:00

@BIossomtoes

If you read your own link, that's still not the correct usage of the word.

Moveoverdarlin · 27/10/2023 23:01

So you’ve never said ‘they need a kick up the arse’. It doesn’t mean you are condoning sexual violence by inserting one’s foot up one’s anus, it’s a turn of phrase, a jokey comment. Like saying ‘she can stick it where the sun don’t shine’. You can’t pick apart everything to it’s literal meaning.

EarringsandLipstick · 27/10/2023 23:01

porridgeisbae · 27/10/2023 22:59

@EarringsandLipstick Google gives a few results for vacuum cleaner assaults but not using exactly this method/mode of entry. There were a few using the nozzle I think.

The things we google for 'love' of this forum.

Oh gosh! I can't believe you googled it - but thank you I guess 😂

Bs0u416d · 27/10/2023 23:02

Moveoverdarlin · 27/10/2023 23:01

So you’ve never said ‘they need a kick up the arse’. It doesn’t mean you are condoning sexual violence by inserting one’s foot up one’s anus, it’s a turn of phrase, a jokey comment. Like saying ‘she can stick it where the sun don’t shine’. You can’t pick apart everything to it’s literal meaning.

You should have given a trigger warning for this. Jesus.

ThisMama1 · 27/10/2023 23:02

@Hexandthecity I’m going through the process of an autism diagnosis (I’m almost 42) and am very literal too. It didn’t occur to me about it being a ‘shove it up your arse’ joke either. Just a sexist joke about a man being a bit of a dick & the woman loosing her shit with him. I’m not overtly offended by it but you’re right, if it was a joke about a man ‘shoving something up a woman’s arse’ because she’s a nag or another similar trope then I think a lot of women would react differently. Sexual assault (or domestic abuse) is taken as seriously when it comes to men. It’s almost ok for women to sexualise men, take male strippers for example, women will gripe, touch, lick etc male strippers yet would find it disgusting for men to do the same to female strippers. It’s made me realise that I would have an issue joking about sexual assault on women but didn’t initially have a huge issue with this card until I actually thought about it. So I thank you for making me realise my own unconscious bias to this scenario. I would never feel like male sexual assault is not as bad as female sexual assault however in real life, I just want to clarify that

EarringsandLipstick · 27/10/2023 23:02

just like everyone else has the right to not give a shiny shite about how offended they say they are.

Absolutely - I agree with you on this.

(But you've been dismissive of anyone holding the opposite view, that's not 'not giving a shite', it's not tolerating different opinions).

adriftinadenofvipers · 27/10/2023 23:03

fluffypotatoes · 27/10/2023 22:44

Right. So some people finding a card unfunny/offensive/inappropriate has caused you to want to get off the world?

And I assume you mean political correctness has gone mad. It's not political. Its actual offense.

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It's a phrase ffs!

This is a load of crap!

You should try experiencing actual offensiveness!! I am old enough to recall it.

BIossomtoes · 27/10/2023 23:05

EarringsandLipstick · 27/10/2023 23:00

@BIossomtoes

If you read your own link, that's still not the correct usage of the word.

It is.

EarringsandLipstick · 27/10/2023 23:11

@BIossomtoes

Are you going to answer my point about a cartoon not being offensive? That a female assault in a cartoon would also be fine, by your logic?

(And I am correct about how you used 'deductive' 🙂 you can say 'deductive reasoning' - the process by which a conclusion was reached but 'deductive skills' doesn't make sense. Skills of deduction perhaps?)

ZiriForGood · 27/10/2023 23:14

Ok, changing to YANBU.

It is not so bad, because the dynamics seems rather equal here. Still, the whole concept of stuffing things into people like that shouldn't be joked about.

Bs0u416d · 27/10/2023 23:16

ZiriForGood · 27/10/2023 23:14

Ok, changing to YANBU.

It is not so bad, because the dynamics seems rather equal here. Still, the whole concept of stuffing things into people like that shouldn't be joked about.

But where do we draw the line about that is funny or not? If we drill down into every joke, to the darkermost conclusion, nothing is funny, nothing can be joked about. Isn't this absolute madness?

porridgeisbae · 27/10/2023 23:17

'deductive skills' doesn't make sense. Skills of deduction perhaps?

Wouldn't it be grammatically like the difference between 'cognitive skills' and 'skills of cognition' i.e. the same difference really? It's not an unknown way of phrasing it.

Tryingmybestadhd · 27/10/2023 23:23

Not far from me then . For sure I cannot be the only person that has ever said “ do or say that again and I will shove it where the sun doesn’t shine “

EarringsandLipstick · 27/10/2023 23:24

Possibly I'm splitting hairs @porridgeisbae (and being a bit unfair to @BIossomtoes in the process, sorry Blossom) but I don't think so.

You don't have 'deductive skills' ... deductive reasoning is a reference to a particular process, rather than having skills to work something out which is how Blossom had used it

Though I think this is an indication that I've had enough MN tonight! Time to go..