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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In trouble, I grabbed the best room!

347 replies

Singletraveller · 27/10/2023 19:49

I'm on holiday with a group of mates; they have partners and I dont. Last time we went away together the couple that arrived first at the cottage grabbed the best room, with no shame or negotiation! We all ended up joking that this time round we would race eachother for the best room...all a bit whacky races and jovial! Anyway, I got there well before anyone else for various travel related reasons, so grabbed the best room. Big with an ensuite. The other rooms were nice just a bit smaller...one didnt have an ensuite. Anyhow, one of the couples has kicked off - because Im single, I shouldn't have the biggest room apparently. Given they're all essentially nice rooms, this feels a bit shitty...should I have quietly taken a 'lesser' room just because I'm a solo traveller?? All so petty I know, but peed off at the sour atmosphere after all the joking about rooms in the run up.

OP posts:
VintageTuppence · 28/10/2023 06:44

Went back and read other replies after posting - it made me wonder, how much time are people spending in their rooms on this holiday? Wouldn’t the rooms only be for sleeping in and you’ll be out all day and in the evenings?

Thebigblueballoon · 28/10/2023 06:59

You should’ve picked a smaller room with an en-suite.

GreenVelvetCushions · 28/10/2023 07:01

AQuantityOfNaughtyCats · 27/10/2023 19:51

Depends if you’re paying per person or per room really.

This.

AfterWeights · 28/10/2023 07:03

Im sorry but if you've paid less you've been a bit cheeky.

Willowview · 28/10/2023 07:09

OP, just giggling, imagining you waking up from a sleeping beauty like slumber with bluebirds and flowers around your four poster and hearing the argument still raging over the breakfast table, nothing beats a good night's sleep!

Did you stay in your room?

Was your Mumsnet thread rumbled?

Heatherbell1978 · 28/10/2023 07:13

To be honest in the group I'm in where we do similar holidays, the single people would all volunteer for or be allocated the smaller rooms. Usually the person/couple who organises the holiday gets the best room. But then we sort all this kind of stuff ahead of time which saves a lot of hassle!

bingbongbang23 · 28/10/2023 07:16

Haha. Sorry, but totally cheeky! You are the only single one, got a discount on the holiday, and then bagged the biggest room 😂

Why would you not just take a slightly smaller, but still nice room?!

TammyJones · 28/10/2023 07:21

hardknocklifeforme · 27/10/2023 20:13

Yikes - I think you're a bit cheeky - it's a bit awkward. Think you should have had smaller room but with en-suite.

I don't think I could taken the biggest room if that meant 2 people would have to share a smaller one.
I'd feel greedy .....

Sayitaintso33 · 28/10/2023 07:34

Flatbellyfella · 27/10/2023 22:36

Have a nice soak & enjoy the big room….🍷

Yup, soak away and make sure you don't throw out your friends with the bath water.

heheheheh · 28/10/2023 07:38

WiddlinDiddlin · 27/10/2023 22:03

If OP were paying HALF what the couples were paying, I might agree...

But as it stands if say OP is paying £75 for her room and the others are paying £50 each (so £100 per couple).. no. She is paying £25 per person MORE than them... to get the worst room?

Fuck no.

This isn't a hotel room.

This is shared accomodation likely flat rate no matter how many people occupy it (up to the max for that property).

As for 'well the couples have to share' FFS... yes, with the person they've decided to shack up with and be in a relationship with. Oh what a hardship! IF thats a genuine issue, they should have booked a property where everyone got a room each.

Likely this property has an ensuite in all but one room, and a seperate bathroom. So everyone gets their own bathroom, the only difference really is some will have a slightly smaller bedroom and one couple - oh no - have to walk a short way to their bathroom!

Unless the entire holiday is about spending extra time beyond sleeping, in the bedrooms, I really can't see what the issue is. How much room do folk bloody need to get dressed/undressed/into bed?!

But this calculation is ignoring the obvious – the couples are acting as a single buyer.

For example, let's say £1 buys 1 unit of space.

OP's £75 buys 75 units of space.
£50 buys 50 units of space. So, 2 people joining up their 50 units of space each are entitled to 100 units of space. Each couple has purchased more space than OP, in cold monetary terms.

It is unfair and it is the "single tax"... That's why I liked to share a room with friends even when single. Conversely though, sometimes when I go away with my boyfriend, we do fork out more so we both get our own rooms (we're both introverts so while we love hanging out together, we also like our personal space while unwinding on holiday)!

Anyway, back to the couples, they're benefitting from something called economies of scale (buying in bulk discount). Slightly controversial, but think of it like Brexit. When the UK was buying and making deals alongside 20+ member states, it got a bulk discount on many things so to speak. Now it's a single buyer, it probably won't get the same discount.

But from a non-economic viewpoint, I think an argument can be made for compassion. Not just for singles, but for example for less well-off friends, taking into account that the same holiday cost might be a greater % of someone's monthly salary than for others, etc.

SliceOfBread · 28/10/2023 07:45

Enjoy your holiday with your friends OP - rightly or wrongly I’m not sure it’ll be happening again.

rookiemere · 28/10/2023 07:46

Well regardless if it's right or wrong, the shame of it is between OPs behaviour this year and couple nabbing the best room last year, I suspect this trip won't continue for many more years. If that's the outcome you wanted OP, then fine, if not then suggest that going forward a more equitable way is arranged to decide on rooms such as pulling them out from a hat.

NeedToChangeName · 28/10/2023 07:48

I would have taken a smaller en suite room in your situation

Agree with PP that banter about the rooms may have been a plea for a better arrangement this time. Pity no one was direct about this. Would have been so much better to allocate rooms in advance

ShatteredPeace · 28/10/2023 07:55

The single person cost is difficult. She paid less than any other group on the holiday paid for that space. You pay for a space. When you buy a house, you don't pay half because there's one of you. Same for a hotel. So she was subsidised by her friends. Then went for the biggest room. It's a dick move, and a bit more space is not worth upsetting your friends on holiday.

SurprisedWithAHorse · 28/10/2023 07:55

User1789 · 27/10/2023 22:09

OP, while I get the temptation to make the point you are making (though it is a dick move to do so while also paying less for the accommodation), there may well be a point in the future where you have a partner.

Your approach, and many of the posts on this thread in support of it, comes across as a bit resentful at your friends for being in couples while you are not.

Do you want to be friends with these people? Or do you want to make a point?

There may also be a point in the future where the coupled people have split up.

Why not think about that theoretical point in the future when you are in that future, and just deal with the situation you're in as it is right now?

Eleganz · 28/10/2023 08:00

heheheheh · 28/10/2023 07:38

But this calculation is ignoring the obvious – the couples are acting as a single buyer.

For example, let's say £1 buys 1 unit of space.

OP's £75 buys 75 units of space.
£50 buys 50 units of space. So, 2 people joining up their 50 units of space each are entitled to 100 units of space. Each couple has purchased more space than OP, in cold monetary terms.

It is unfair and it is the "single tax"... That's why I liked to share a room with friends even when single. Conversely though, sometimes when I go away with my boyfriend, we do fork out more so we both get our own rooms (we're both introverts so while we love hanging out together, we also like our personal space while unwinding on holiday)!

Anyway, back to the couples, they're benefitting from something called economies of scale (buying in bulk discount). Slightly controversial, but think of it like Brexit. When the UK was buying and making deals alongside 20+ member states, it got a bulk discount on many things so to speak. Now it's a single buyer, it probably won't get the same discount.

But from a non-economic viewpoint, I think an argument can be made for compassion. Not just for singles, but for example for less well-off friends, taking into account that the same holiday cost might be a greater % of someone's monthly salary than for others, etc.

Edited
Show quote history

It is not even an unfair "single tax" though. OP gets to have her own room. The couples are sharing a room (of course one would assume they would want to but financially that is irrelevant). OP is paying the premium for having her own space so that is £75 for sole occupancy of a room Vs £100 for dual occupancy.

You are right on everything else and OP has been a bit if a CF to get the biggest room give she is paying less than her couple friends.

Pipsquiggle · 28/10/2023 08:03

I do think you are being a CF.

You should've gone for the smallest room with an ensuite.

Is this room worth your friends being pissed off with you?

user1471447924 · 28/10/2023 08:17

Yeah you’ve been a bit selfish here. I’d not be surrounded if holidays were couples only from now on. Ouch.

nettie434 · 28/10/2023 08:31

What none of us know, given that the OP only mentioned getting 'a bit of a discount' is exactly how the costs were split. We don't even know how many people are staying there. Some of the comments assume that the OP is paying 50% less but it might not be as much as this.

I'd be interested to know who is complaining. Is it the couple who got the best room last year or the couple who have lost out on the best room two years running?

It could all have been avoided by allocating the rooms beforehand. Personally, I wouldn't be bothered about having the largest room but I would mind paying the same as someone who had an en suite when I didn't.

Backtomyoldname · 28/10/2023 08:36

There is always potential for upset, simmering feelings, bickering when a group go away and have to sort out who has which room.

Been there, done that, had the crappier room despite doing all the booking, paying etc. Not the end of the world but....

When we, 19 of us now, go away as a family, to a hotel my OH sorts out the hotel rooms. All coupled up bar one and he has a single room. Older ones have sea views, younger with children have family rooms.

But it's all sorted out before. Woe betide anyone who tries to change it on the day!

Tabbygabby · 28/10/2023 08:40

I mean they agreed to the game, the fact they're annoyed highlights they probably just assumed you'd have the smallest, shittest room because you're single which isn't fair. I probably wouldn't have gone for an en suite room albeit not the biggest room, but sounds like there's some background to you being othered so good for you!

FUPAgirl · 28/10/2023 08:44

Sorry op but I think it was a dick move too. Why would you even want a bigger room if the other rooms are all great too? I would be seriously pissed off given that you paid less. Especially given that you clearly were so determined to get there first.

Mouse82 · 28/10/2023 08:46

Tabbygabby · 28/10/2023 08:40

I mean they agreed to the game, the fact they're annoyed highlights they probably just assumed you'd have the smallest, shittest room because you're single which isn't fair. I probably wouldn't have gone for an en suite room albeit not the biggest room, but sounds like there's some background to you being othered so good for you!

Just because someone jokes about something doesn't mean it's game on.

Tabbygabby · 28/10/2023 08:51

Mouse82 · 28/10/2023 08:46

Just because someone jokes about something doesn't mean it's game on.

Show quote history

So it was set that even though OP has paid more per person she'd get the small, shit room then? I'm sure if a couple had one they'd be having a laugh about it and some casual ribbing. Single people within groups usually get treated like crap.

saraclara · 28/10/2023 08:55

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 28/10/2023 06:17

I don’t think you should have accepted the discount if you still wanted to be in contention for the biggest room

She hasn't accepted a discount. She's paid MORE than any other individual.

It seems that most people on this board think that single people.should always accept inferior accommodation, even though as individuals, they have to pay a supplement.

I think it's pretty shitty of the couples to see her as inferior and undeserving