Making food without asking whether I want any.

[bonzaitree]

My partner sometimes makes food without asking me if I want anything.

He thinks this is completely fine and totally normal.

It makes me feel invisible. I’ve asked him not to do it and he keeps doing it. Is it hard to say « fancy a sandwich? »

Example, just came in from holiday. I’ve opened the post and said I was having a rest for a bit. Came to get something and he was making sausages. We have spoken about this many times before. Today I was tired and snapped.

I'm not sure, I think it depends.

If I wasn't allowed to have a snack while DH was upstairs resting without checking with him first, because he'd wake up and sulk if he found out, I would find it exhausting.

I don't think I'm a selfish person, but I don't really understand why it's rude to eat something, without first running round the house checking if anyone else is hungry first.

Dinner- fine, but just a snack?! If these people are hungry, why didn't they make their own sodding toast 😂

He could just have text and said « are you awake? Sausage butty? »

Message not read = she is asleep crack on.

Message back = follow instructions: yes or no.

People who text whilst in the same house. This gets worse.

Also there’s really no « running around » our flat LOL! It’s a small flat. Theres no running. You wouldn’t get far! There’s also no « asking everyone » 2 humans - only one human (me) to ask.

My husband does this and it really winds me up. He'll also put the TV on when we're both in the same room and not ask if I want to watch what he's putting on which I also find really rude

This was both of you getting back from holiday, or just you? If the latter, he should have had something waiting for you, and done done shopping! If the former, yes he should have checked, especially given the scarcity of your supplied.

Getting back from holiday when you’re a couple with no children…. Is about chilling, pottering, talking about how lovely the holiday was (or how it could have been improved!) and planning the next one.

I think if you’re stewing in your room spending the evening on a mumsnet thread whinging about your partner, whilst partner in question indulges in a sausage sandwich for himself despite being asked by you more than 15x in the past to ask if you’d like something…. Well 😬

I think it's inconsiderate.
Even if I'm just putting the kettle on, I'll ask DH if he wants tea and vice versa.