Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did you spend your twenties travelling, or building a career, or having kids or

168 replies

Threebiscuitsandacupoftea · 25/10/2023 21:10

just keeping your head above water?

Interested in how people spent their twenties. And what are you focusing on now, in comparison?

Due to ill health, mine were basically all on the struggle bus Grin I mean, yes I did have a fair amount of fun thank goodness, but never travelled as too expensive. Never managed to do anything of note.

I'm in better health now as I approach 40 compared to young adulthood, and would like to carve out a little bit of a career for myself. Have a few places I'd love to visit if it is possible one day.

What about you?

OP posts:
mandydandy · 25/10/2023 23:43

Early twenties - skint student then working to pay off some of the debt whilst going out clubbing at weekends and making questionable decisions about men.
Mid twenties, loved up, could afford some brilliant holidays but was working my arse off to afford it.
Late twenties, bought a house with my then fiancé, still going on amazing holidays to interesting places, still working crazy hours to climb the career ladder and be able to afford everything I wanted to do.
Early, mid and late twenties me were like three different people entirely.
Then my 30s came and they we're basically just about having babies and attempting to get some sleep at some point.
Now my 40s, kids are getting older. I'm a mixture of all my previous versions of myself.
Dh and I have basically grown up together.

Alaimo · 25/10/2023 23:46

Traveling, living/studying overseas, crap call center job, studying and some more studying until I got a PhD one month before my 30th birthday. It's not a regret, but I sometimes wish I'd met DH later in life (I was 22) so I could have had some more romantic adventures. Other than that, I'm pretty happy with how my 20s turned out.

smilesup · 25/10/2023 23:46

20 to 21 worked at market stall making stuff to sell, lived in a commune in Spain. (With boyfriend)
21 to 24 went to uni (several boyfriends lived all over)
24 to 25 worked and travelled around central America (another boyfriend)
25 to 26 lived in various cities in England (several fun friends!)
26 settled in current city. Met DH, got a job, and a dog.
28 got married.
30 got pregnant.
Loved it. The hedonism, liberty....

honeyfox · 25/10/2023 23:48

Spent the first half of it working hard in college, finished my degree and masters. Then got a job and the second half was great. Inter-railed, travelled around lots of Europe, made great friends in work and outside work ( met people from the internet before it was usual!). Did not get together with DH until I was 33, 45 now.

WrongSwanson · 25/10/2023 23:49

20s - mix of education and travel, a few years work, illness (bedbound) then babies,

30s - juggling being a single mum and climbing career ladder (making up for lost time!) . Lots of fun with the children but lots of long hours working in the evenings when they were in bed

Now, early 40s - got to where I want to career wise, kids are heading into double digits, hoping for a bit of balance and some "me time" occasionally

My main comment - a lot can change in a decade, it's never too late to start a career

SantaBarbaraMonica · 25/10/2023 23:51

My 20s were epic! You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. But shit, I couldn’t have hoped for better 20s in terms of travel, experiences, work, meeting an incredible man.

Lucyccfc68 · 25/10/2023 23:54

Spent my 20’s travelling, clubbing, festivals, gigs and generally having a ball.

Managed to get on the property ladder at 26 and had an ok paid job.

Started to climb the career ladder in my early 30’s, got married at 36 and had a child at 37. Divorced by 40 and that’s when I really took my career really seriously as I was a single parent and had a child to raise.

He is 18 now and I am in a very fortunate position of now having a lot of disposable income. Now I intend to do more travelling, but with friends rather than my son.

CognitiveBehaviouralHypnotherapy · 26/10/2023 00:02

We mostly partied hard. Also finished my degree. Left my home country, had a string of bad boyfriends throughout. It was turbulent and I wish I'd been less impulsive. Then I moved to London and met DH when I turned 30 and had a few babies. Now in my 40s I'm focussing on career. I'd waste less time if I could do it all again. But I've definitely had bucketloads of adventure and fun

lenimon · 26/10/2023 00:05

Had a baby aged 19 as a single mum. Good family childcare so was able to party a bit (not often, but very hedonistic). Travelled a little, with toddler in tow. Moved to London as I got a council exchange to a flat in central London which rapidly gentrified during that time. Was a perpetual student, did 5 different courses that decade (and more in my 30s). Had a hobby/sport which became I got quite involved with. Met DH late 20s.

MrsSkylerWhite · 26/10/2023 00:06

Early 20s, working hard, having fun outside. Mid/late 20s same but with husband.

ConspiciouslyDifferent · 26/10/2023 00:09

I was doing all career stuff, and scrambling to find a boyfriend. All my jobs involved a lot of travel which I am rubbish at.

My eyesight gradually disintegrated over the course of my 20s and was fixed suddenly at 29 which was exciting.

Learning to do computer programming was good. Glad the boyfriend phase ended. It was very stressful.

CognitiveBehaviouralHypnotherapy · 26/10/2023 00:10

@Threebiscuitsandacupoftea sorry you had to struggle in your 20s, I did too but more mentally :) it can hold you back. So what are you planning to do now career-wise?

Itsatuesday · 26/10/2023 00:11

From 20-25 I would go on quite a lot of nights out although I didn’t have all that much money but nights out were so cheap then! I never did the whole travelling thing, it wasn’t for me and if I was to do it I’d like to go for long holidays and stay in luxury rather than hostels 🙈 From 25-28 I was with my now husband and we just had a nice time going holidays, having lots of dinners out etc. Then since 28 I’ve had kids! Would have always thought I would of had them after 30 but when I hit 28 my mind completely changed and I wanted a baby!

HotSince82 · 26/10/2023 00:12

Graduated uni, had a baby, started another degree, got married, had another baby, separated and later divorced ExH, graduated for the second time, started my now career, met my now DH, had another baby, got promoted, got pregnant with my fourth just before I turned thirty.

EasternStandard · 26/10/2023 00:15

University, travelling, career, fun and met dh

Itwasamemo2 · 26/10/2023 00:17

Qualified as a nurse in my early 20s went out to Sydney aged 24 ,partied for 2years .Came home,partied until 28 ,got married and had first baby aged 30! Thankfully Mumsnet was not on my radar …phew 😂

Grendell · 26/10/2023 00:22

I'm 60 so my 20s was mostly in the 1980's. I was completely and totally feral and have zero regrets. Thank goodness my shenanigans were not documented on the World Wide Web.

AgeingDoc · 26/10/2023 00:23

I graduated at 23 then straight on to the professional treadmill in the days when 80-100+ hours a week wasn't particularly unusual for a junior doctor and "spare time" was spent studying for professional exams. I was either working, studying or asleep for most of my 20s. Looking back on it I am not entirely sure how I survived on so little sleep for so long.
I'm retired now and enjoying having so much freedom. Was it worth it? Yes in some ways, no in others. I'm not sure whether I would do it again if I had my time over or not. I'd certainly seriously consider taking some time out and maybe working or volunteering abroad for a bit rather than slavishly following the "approved" career path.

Pollyannaatemyjelly · 26/10/2023 00:25

Finished uni and travelled a bit. Got a decent job which allowed more travel. Bought a house at 24, had first dc at 26, married 27 and dc 2 at 28. I gave up my first career when I had dc1.

I always thought I made a lot of bad choices and I did in many ways but I'm fortunate that they didn't have a long-term negative impact. I went on to have two further DC. Completed a masters and another degree in my late 30's/early 40's and have a new career. I'm about to enrol on another masters as part of CPD. I'm still married to same DH and whilst things are always busy and a bit crazy I'm generally pretty happy with it all. Just wish there was more time in a day.

Catwoman1985 · 26/10/2023 01:08

I finished my degree, got my MA and built my career but wish I'd travelled more and had more fun! My mental health was awful. My 30s were much better.

YerAWizardHarry · 26/10/2023 01:11

Spent the whole of my 20s parenting (had DS at 19) but also graduated with my teaching degree, bought a house, going on holidays (wouldn’t really call it “travelling” but backpacking etc not for me) and generally living a nice life with DP.

I’m only 30 now and DS is off to secondary school next summer, feels like I am where I need to be and pretty pleased with how my life has turned out so far after being a “teen mum”.

1stTimeMama · 26/10/2023 02:20

20-24 was working, going out clubbing and being in a relationship that didnt work out.
From 24 to 26 I married an arsehole, we split, I then travelled with my now husband and had our first baby. It was a hectic couple of years! I've haven't worked since we've been together, I'm a SAHM to 5 children, and we're now 15 years down the line.

Beenaboutabit · 26/10/2023 02:37

My 20s were in the 90s
I graduated, worked shit jobs before minimum wage existed but went raving in fields at the weekend for a few years then worked overseas earning fuck all as a TEFL teacher in a different country every year. I was skint but it was brilliant.

Bopping298 · 26/10/2023 03:12

At 22 I was very randomly hired for an amazing job which was paid A LOT of money overseas. I partied hard, travelled a lot to exotic and far flung locations and probably wasted too much money (could have easily bought a house). It was an incredible time as I come from a very modest background and had zero money up to that point - I’d hardly travelled at all before that either. It was full of ups and downs, love dramas, drinking and partying, I worked really hard too and am proud of what I achieved in my 20s. I look back and think how lucky I was (some cringe moments connected to the partying and going out a lot tho). Had 3 DCs in my 30s and now I just focus on the kids and work. I work PT around the kids (low paid yet interesting job) and don’t go out much if at all. Enjoy pottering around at home and watching Netflix. Happy I got all my crazy out of my system in my 20s!

PeloMom · 26/10/2023 03:20

Built a career, finished my education and travelled.