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AIBU?

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Original poster

Did you spend your twenties travelling, or building a career, or having kids or

168 replies

Threebiscuitsandacupoftea · 25/10/2023 21:10

just keeping your head above water?

Interested in how people spent their twenties. And what are you focusing on now, in comparison?

Due to ill health, mine were basically all on the struggle bus Grin I mean, yes I did have a fair amount of fun thank goodness, but never travelled as too expensive. Never managed to do anything of note.

I'm in better health now as I approach 40 compared to young adulthood, and would like to carve out a little bit of a career for myself. Have a few places I'd love to visit if it is possible one day.

What about you?

OP posts:
buckingmad · 25/10/2023 21:23

Early to mid 20’s were uni and professional qualification, career building. Then got married and had DD at 26/27 and am pregnant again at 29.

Atm I am happy with my choices so far. I maybe could have made more of a dent in my career but I wanted children on the younger side.

stayathomer · 25/10/2023 21:23

All of the above- college then travelled for three months then built a decent career got pregnant and then extremely poor by age 30 when we couldn’t sell our apartment so had to rent it out and rent ourselves!

Dacadactyl · 25/10/2023 21:25

DH and I spent our 20s parenting!

We met at uni (we both graduated) but I was 21 and he was 23 when DD came along. We married mid-20s and DS came along shortly afterwards.

Now I'm 38 and the kids need us less. I'm looking forward to our 40s cos we'll be able to do whatever we like.

Xtraincome · 25/10/2023 21:25

Head above water. Had Kids in late 20s. financial difficulties (no different to others), kids now in school (am 37), finally working full-time and I am more content, happy, together and self-aware than I ever was in my 20s. Was one of those people where lots of travel doesn't appeal. A slow life has suited me greatly. But I was in endless pursuit of something fabulous when all I want is an easy life. No uni as wasn't academic. Now, I know I can do anything I set my mind to.

ErrolTheDragon · 25/10/2023 21:25

Education for the first half (both did PhDs) then careers; in the last year of our 20s DH got a secondment to the US so we got some travel too apart from normal holidays. Having kids just wasn't on our minds at all till mid 30s.

KitKatrunchie · 25/10/2023 21:26

I spent my twenties ruining my life, drinking and having shit relationships

Regholdsworthswaterbed · 25/10/2023 21:27

Mainly getting pissed and shagging!

2chocolateoranges · 25/10/2023 21:27

2chocolateoranges · 25/10/2023 21:18

Engaged, married and had 2 babies from being 23-27.

Pressed send too quickly.

spent my 30’s bringing the children up
40’s I’ve gone back to college, got an amazing career and had some brilliant holidays.

sipsqueak · 25/10/2023 21:28

Moved to a different country
Worked full time
Returned to studying full time
Entered a new profession
Got engaged

Social life/partying with friends & colleagues was a major focus throughout.

I miss my 20s...

10HailMarys · 25/10/2023 21:28

I graduated when I was 22 with debts and no savings and had rent to pay, so I spent most of my 20s just trying to keep my head above water! I moved alone to the opposite end of the country just before turning 27, met DP a couple of months later and moved in with him just before I turned 29.

TotalOverhaul · 25/10/2023 21:28

I travelled and pursued a very competitive creative career with some success. Looking back, I'm very glad I did. It was adventurous. At the time, I often felt lonely and penniless and left behind while other friends married, had kids, entered sensible careers, bought flats. But I did all that a few years later than them, having had some brilliant, rare adventures in incredible places.

975zyx · 25/10/2023 21:29

Enjoying a gloriously misspent youth.

missingyears · 25/10/2023 21:29

In my 20s I worked hard and built a good career which I loved. I also travelled, got really into sports and built a great social circle. I was creating the building blocks for my future and by the end of my 20s I felt the happiest I'd ever been with so much optimism for the future.

Sadly I developed an illness in my early 30s which got progressively worse and remained undiagnosed for over a decade. By 40 I had lost all the gains of my 20s and I lost everything due to the illness.

Mid 40s now and starting again from scratch!

Sparehair · 25/10/2023 21:30

Moved to London from Uni on a finance grad scheme when I was 21. Lived a “friends” lifestyle in flat-shares for 4 years- such a good time, although always too much month at the end of the money but we’d go out anyway and hope someone would buy us some drinks. Had fun but wholly unsuitable bfs and didn’t appreciate the good ones. Many broken hearts given and received, that lasted about a week till he or I met someone else. Then went travelling for a year. Came back to London for a new job with hippy bf in tow- that didn’t work out as anyone could have told me 🤣. Bought a flat when I was 28 and met DH just before my 30th bday. So a mix I guess.

now- just moved back having lived overseas for 15 years. Having a bit of a career break but plan to do a returnship in finance/ banking next year. Got two secondary age dc.

user1471548941 · 25/10/2023 21:31

20-25 struggling with mental health, many family and health issues leading to instability in employment and multiple bad decisions with men. Generally skint, struggling and still live at home.

25-30 after a life changing autism diagnosis at 24 I was able to start building a career, buy a house, met DH, got married, bought a house together.

Entering our thirties not fussed about kids and both pretty career focussed so it’s career building still, home improvements and doing some of the travel I missed out on in my 20s, only we want to do it in style so saving up for this!

We may pivot and decide to have a family later on, but will revisit this if necessary, knowing we would be in a strong financial/career position to have kids.

PermanentTemporary · 25/10/2023 21:31

Mostly spent them doing increasingly badly paid jobs and living in rancid houseshares, too broke to go out much. Got married at 26, much too young but it did give me more confidence and got going a bit more with my career around 28.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 25/10/2023 21:34

Studied till 24, was a junior Dr for 3 years, then had a baby. There wasn't a lot of time for anything else tbh. Loads of Weddings.

MagpieCastle · 25/10/2023 21:35

Travel, partying, house shares, ill advised relationships, trying different jobs that clarified what I didn’t want to do and helped me to eventually focus on what I did want to do, experimented with city living and enjoyed it for a while but then realised it really wasn’t for me. Tail end of 20’s met husband-to-be and moved abroad together for a few years.

Chocolatemarshmallowss · 25/10/2023 21:35

I think I did a bit of everything. Finished uni at 21, moved to London. Spend week nights / week ends out never saved a penny. Went on lots of holidays abroad. During this time of pissing about I was also working, building my career.Met my partner at 26, moved in with him at 27, had my son and bought our house at 29 now 32.

Randomuser9876 · 25/10/2023 21:35

I think a lot of people (well me certainly) find their 20s is working out what they want.

I was career building in London but realised they were all wankers and I hated the South East. So moved back to Yorkshire and had kinds in my 30s

Chalkdowns · 25/10/2023 21:35

Studying and travelling, bit of time wasting before settling to career, getting going with that and then started with children end of twenties.

had always felt I wasted so much time with the 2 years of not know ing what to do but now I’m older I realise it is fine!

now mid 40s, kids getting older and it’s time to refocus on my career for the big push!

Only wish I’d known at 20 how expensive life would become …

gotomomo · 25/10/2023 21:36

Bit of each, worked, had a child, moved overseas, had another child, travelled a lot whilst overseas

Hedgehogtunnel · 25/10/2023 21:36

I suffered one trauma after another and as a result couldn't have the career I'd worked so hard for, struggled to survive on sickness benefits and was suicidal, until I was finally able to have a baby and start a profession if not my longed-for career in my 40s.

I see myself as just starting out in life now, at nearly 50.

XenoBitch · 25/10/2023 21:36

Worked on and off, and very mentally unwell.

BitofaStramash · 25/10/2023 21:36

20s career and partying
30s career and children
40s career, children and travel