My manager keeps telling me not to have a baby

[MakingLemonadealways]

At least once a month! It's gone from jokingly commenting we can't afford the cover to full blown, seriously please don't go on mat leave we wouldn't survive! Very awkward, I can feel myself respond more and more pettily as the audacity of it is kicking in!

If she was pregnant she could hardly say her boss's discriminatory attitude prevented her from getting pregnant.

I think the idea is to get evidence in writing so she can sue the arse off them if she gets pregnant and is later discriminated against.

You're right, my mistake.

Unbelievable how unprofessional some people are

Unfortunately many employers don’t employ women of child bearing age as they simply can’t afford it. Large multi National industry is a bit different, but I know someone who had 21 months of over less than 3 years, almost bankrupting the small business she worked for. I have a lot of sympathy, but your employer is running a business, and that should be his priority. Controversial subject I know, but it shouldn’t be. I’m a parent, but I would be very selective in who I employed if I was in such a position (which I’m not btw).

Go to HR. I once worked somewhere where a director got sacked for telling a direct report to not get pregnant and ask what contraception she was using.

I’d say ‘if you say that one more time, I will raise a gender discrimination case. You have no right to say that to me, joking or not.’

Aside from being completely illegal, this is such an insensitive thing to say to anyone! I'd just tell her next time that if she ever says it again, you'll be reporting it and taking it as far as you can.

People that don’t own a business have no idea how someone taking maternity affects the business. I had to pay my girl then also pay for someone to do her job, I didn’t get any money back for two years and then not all of it. My friend had a grooming business, she went bankrupt when two of her girls went on maternity at the same time.

Omg what a stupid response! Poor small companies that suffer when their female members of staff a having all these pesky babies..what is actually wrong with you?!!

Make an abstract comment about other people's sex lives, after all that's what they're doing, dictating you can't ever have unprotected sex. Ok. Now you dictate they can't do x y or z. Oh what's that? I'm being Intrusive talking about your sex life (insert tilty head)?

this kind of attitude is why women still face a gender pay gap. It’s illegal, no one sees where he is coming from, and your DP needs to sort himself out!

I once had a (female) boss who threatened to take a coat hanger to me if I got pregnant. Needless to say I didn't stay very long in the job.

😲

A previous manager of mine used to regularly joke that she would put the pill in my tea 😂 when I did fall pregnant (both times) she was absolutely over the moon for me. I do think she was partly serious though, I know it isnt ideal to find appropriate cover for mat leave, but ultimately that's not my problem to worry about.
If it's making you uncomfortable then it needs to be nipped in the bud now, maybe just ask one day if they're being serious and tell them that you don't appreciate or like the comments and please can they stop. If it continues then take it further.

If that’s how they’re treating you before you even plan on having a baby, it is clear that they’ll be a terrible employer once you have a baby (if that’s what you want). I’ll look elsewhere if you do want a family one day

I'd imagine that 'joking appeals' don't sound that amusing in a tribunal room. You're lucky that your employee has been so accommodating of your hilarious comments.

Your 'girl'? Maybe you should stop employing children, start employing grown women instead.

FYI just as you don't call grown men boys, don't call grown women girls.

I appreciate that small businesses will struggle to cover maternity leave - my husband has a small business - but what is the alternative? Women working for a small business can’t ever start a family because they should be dedicating their lives to making money for someone else? What happens if they are long term sick?

I’ve been threatened multiple times in the past by a (male) manager when a colleague had announced her pregnancy. When her bump was growing I was repeatedly told “Don’t you be thinking about getting pregnant” “We can’t have more than one person off at a time” When she came in for a KIT day it was “Why don’t you wait until she is back at work then you can start trying” This wasn’t a small business, it was an enormous public sector employer. They just couldn’t be arsed with the hassle and couldn’t train anyone up as they didn’t have a clue how to do our jobs, despite being managers and despite us having written documents for how to do every task.

This is the perfect response!

I own my own business. It’s up to me to make it profitable. You can’t ban staff members from having kids ffs.

Please not tell me what names to call anyone, bit woke aren’t you. I mean picking on the word girl. I’m older so anyone younger than me is a girl/boy. I really don’t understand what you are finding offensive. Some people will find anything to pick on.

If woke = not a knobhead like you, then yes, yes I am, thanks x

Wow, how nice of you to pay so much more than the legal minimum that it put your business into financial difficulties.

Or do I detect a whiff of bullshit here?

Ask your boss how would they survive if you got hit by a bus? Or got a better offer from a higher-paying company? Or went on long-term sick for, say, cancer treatment?I'd be highlighting to them that any company that is dependent on one solitary worker really needs to start a serious cross-training programme NOW. Oh, and I'd be asking for a pay-rise too, if I'm so essential to the company's survival! I'd be making my boss seriously regret opening their gob on this matter.

This is a brilliant response - go with this!