To refuse to take my learner driver on fast dual carriageways

[Laundryandtoil]

DS is nearly 18 and has got a driving test booked next month. He’s had loads of lessons (think I’ve paid for 70 hours of instruction at least!) and his instructor says he is test ready and should pass. I bought him a little car a few weeks ago and I’ve been taking him out in it to practice. DS wants to drive to visit his grandma (my mum) an hour away, accompanied by me obviously as he is still a learner. The route involves fast dual carriageways and then winding country roads. I’ve said my nerves aren’t up to sitting beside him at 70mph on the A3 but AIBU? He thinks I am because he has been on similar roads with his instructor and had no incidents - and he says how can he get experience if I won’t let him.

Yes, it seems crazy to me that a learner driver can go at 70! Everything is harder to control at speed.

Motorway driving comes under pass plus. I expect almost nobody goes on the motorway before passing. Although the other day a learner driver was coming to the roundabout the wrong way off the slip road (presumably took the wrong turn off the roundabout, panicked, did three point turn and emerged back) nearly took my car out as wasn’t even looking to see if it is OK to emerge.

It’s a no from me. I’d rather pay for an extra lesson!

I assumed any good instructor would ensure at least one trip on the motorway so their pupil is equipped for driving generally. My DSs did a short trip towards the end of his lessons then a longer one at DSs request as he didn't really need the lesson the week before his test for anything else.

When I was learning my Dad let/made me drive everywhere, as long as we were not in a hurry. Including along dual carriageways to university open days in far away cities. I was a very confident driver and passed first time.
Once we realised that her instructor was a tosspot I took the same approach with DW and she too passed first time.

@Laundryandtoil if you really are not comfortable due to nerves then it's not unreasonable to say no. But I am sure it would help him to pass if you did allow it

And another thing, just check the stretch you will need. I may be wrong but it turns into the A3(M) at some point which I don't think learners can drive on.

That's the Portsmouth end, the Horndean junction southwards.

I sat in the car a bit with my children but never over 40 mph. I would have been too anxious without a dual control car. My husband was even worse and they refused to drive with him as he was so anxious. They both passed first time.

OP will probably come off the A3 at Milford in order to get to Haslemere (that's the exit I'd take...) so that's all fine! It's actually quite a nice drive for a learner.

You realise that quite a lot of people don't actually live anywhere near a motorway?

That's different though, clearly I'm not talking about that, I think that's obvious, I don't really understand the need for a snarky comment. I mean I don't expect someone from Guernsey to pop over on the car ferry to experience a big motorway in their lessons 🙄

I passed my test in 2007, so that was way before learners were able to go on the motorways with an instructor. I just got out on the motorways as soon as possible and never looked back. My mum is still nervous of going in a car with me despite having 16 years driving experience, so I don't think the parents get any better lol.

I do wonder if the middle lane motorway drivers are because they have never been taught how to actually drive on the motorway properly 🤣

I would let them do it. But we were allowed to drive on the 6 lane part of the North circular as learner drivers with our parents- they would have preferred us to practise before going out unsupervised. However we did lots of a120, a130, a14 and a12 driving before we progressed to this...

regardless of all the "I'd do it" comments, I think you are absolutely able to set a boundary of what you are and are not willing to supervise. You do not have dual controls, you are not a driving instructor. You do not know the rules of what you can/cannot legally supervise.

If you're not comfortable supervising a task then don't supervise it/don't allow it to take place in your car.

Why would it be necessary for a learner to do 70mph why can he not sit comfortably in the "slow Lane" at 60mph and let everyone else go around him. I agree with him that in order to get experience he needs to get experience. 70hrs is ALOT of lessons tho so perhaps he is not as good/comfortable a driver as he seems to think.

I wouldn't. That's what an instructor is for.

But to be fair in 30 plus years of driving I never really relax when someone else is behind the wheel, have known far too many people who have died in motoring accidents

A Motorway 😧For a learner? 😱That's illegal@TheCatterall- unless you are a qualified driving Instructor and have dual controls on your car? Which is the only condition in which a learner can go on the Motorway

But I agree a Driving Instructor is trained and usually will have dual control pedals. Plus if @Laundryandtoil is very anxious about it, it would be better for them NOT to take the Learner out on the Dual Carriageway

My children took their driving tests at the Guildford centre. It may have changed but at the time one of the test routes involves driving a short distance on the A3.

If your son is test-ready he should have no trouble at all. I agree with others that there is no nasty bit at Guildford (getting on the A3 at Guildford can be a pain at busy times but it's fine if you're already on it). Just make sure that as you are approaching Guildford you move over into the middle lane. The left lane becomes an exit and the middle lane becomes the left lane, but it is clearly signposted. The speed limit goes down to 50 through Guildford.

Depending on which bit of Haslemere you are going to, you might want to stay on past Milford and get off after the Hindhead tunnel. If so, the trickiest part of the drive will be the double roundabout where the crossroads with the old A3 used to be.

Mine were driving on the A3 from Guildford very early on. One had to go on it on her very first lesson. That was with an instructor not me, but I regularly took them on it as I knew they would be having to use it once they had passed.

Some of my most stressful drives as a new driver many years ago were negotiating the Wandsworth one-way system, so congrats to your son for having mastered that!

You are being unreasonable. He needs all the practice he can get and if he is test ready then he will be fine.

I'd try and get over your nerves and go.. he doesn't actually have to drive at 70mph.
But the most important thing you can do once he has passed his test is book him some motorway lessons( 3 should be enough). So many many drivers do not know the motorway rules. Hogging the middle lane is the worst. Not knowing this lane and far right lane is for over taking only. They also need to learn how to join/ filter onto a motorway.

I’d go with him. He doesn’t have to drive at 70. It’s a limit, not a requirement. Stick to the inside lane, he’ll be fine. The country roads are more of a hazard. Really needs to check the speed on them.

(and basically saying to him that you think he’s an accident waiting to happen isn’t going to do wonders for his confidence before his test, is it?)

I wouldn't, principally because the customer is paying for tuition that'll help them pass their test - motorway driving isn't assessed in the test and a motorway will not form part of any test route.

Also I'd question whether there are any skills required to drive one a motorway which aren't required to drive on a fast dual-carriageway (which could be assessed on the test and could form part of the test route).

Whether motorway lessons are of any value will depend on what kind of what kind of roads he's driven as a learner. If this "fast dual-carriageway" is motorway-like in all but name, then he'll be fine.

For example, I sat my test in the Edinburgh, this meant the A720 city bypass was on many possibly test routes - it is a 2-lane 70mph dual-carriageway which you enter/leave at slip-roads. The day after I passed I went to collect the car I'd just bought from a garage halfway to Glasgow, and drove it home on the M8 which is a 2-lane 70mph motorway which you enter/leave at slip roads. The most significant difference between the two is the colour of the signs!

Oh, and when my child grows up they'll have been a regular passenger in my car and will therefore be familiar with the importance of not lane-hogging, thanks to the things I say when others do this.

It's a shame though as so many people have no clue how to drive on a 4 lane motorway, of course its different, thats why so many people just sit in the middle lane unsure of what rhey are doing, youve only got to read the numerous threads on MN.

Regardless of what's in a test I believe that learner drivers need a lot more than that to be worthy of passing a test, that may not need to be motorway driving if that's a rarity for them (where i live the motorway is pretty much at the end of our road). In fact the DVSA believe it also as strongly encourage practice outside of lessons. I am shocked to hear that instructors are just teaching to get kids through the test, I would hope the money I spent and DS spent was to get them to be good all round drivers that are safe on the roads alone.

My friends DS did a intensive course, had no other driving experience, managed to pass but now doesn't drive as he doesn't feel comfortable enough to drive alone as he has no experience. He's now moved for his new job so has no parents around to take him out practising.