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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To bin DP's junk while he's away?

165 replies

LittleRayTheCat · 24/10/2023 12:53

DP collects junk. And I mean junk. He collects stuff because he doesn't sort his bag or pockets out enough; because he intends to do something with this junk later on; because he hates throwing stuff out which has some kind of meaning to us however fleeting; because he saves things for me to craft with at some point in the future.

Our under-stairs cupboard currently houses:
>A cracked refill coffee cup that DP intends to superglue and use as a plant pot in his office. He'll unlikely ever get around to super gluing it and never ever to getting a plant for it (unless I do it, which I absolutely won't).

>A backpack with a huge rip that DP intends to sew up or get professionally repaired. He's never sewed anything in his life and he'll likely not get around to finding a repair shop. Again, I'm not doing either of these things for him.

>A power bag for weightlifting which is leaking sand which DP intends to repair with duct tape. He won't get around to this and we bought a replacement bag so why bother anyway?

>A carrier bag full of papers, broken pens, scrolled up tissues, chocolate wrappers, train tickets, empty blister packs etc. that DP took from his old work bag when he got a new one. This has been on a shelf in the cupboard for two fucking years without any moves to get sorted out.

He's away for three days with work. AIBU to bin/recycle/rehome everything while he's away and then just never mention it? I very much bought he'll ever notice.

OP posts:
Duechristmas · 26/10/2023 13:26

True 🤣

TopOfTheCliff · 26/10/2023 14:25

@LittleRayTheCat you are an inspiration. I live with a man just like your DH. He means well, he has lots of projects on the go and he can fix anything BUT he exudes stuff just from sitting on the sofa. When he gets up there will be a 1 euro coin, a bicycle valve cap, a paper clip and half a pack of sugar free chewing gum lying there. His bedside table is bursting with similar crap. Fixings for broken bike lights, empty refillable travel shampoo bottle, one glove, out of date rail card. I have been unwell for three years with cancer and he has overspilled from “ his areas” which are the basement the garage the shed and his office and started colonising the living room, the dining room and the hall surfaces. It makes him unhappy that he can’t control it but he doesn’t invest it any time or effort in clearing it. When I am well I can sort it all out into boxes of useable stuff and throw away the rubbish ( which he never misses). I am finished with treatment now and I can feel a wave of enthusiasm for the Great Tidyup building! Thank you x

Ginmonkeyagain · 26/10/2023 15:31

I tend to take the Stacey Solomon approach with Mr Monkey and pile everything in front of him and have three boxes - keep, recycle or bin and insist he stays there until everything is in the boxes.

LittleRayTheCat · 26/10/2023 16:07

TopOfTheCliff · 26/10/2023 14:25

@LittleRayTheCat you are an inspiration. I live with a man just like your DH. He means well, he has lots of projects on the go and he can fix anything BUT he exudes stuff just from sitting on the sofa. When he gets up there will be a 1 euro coin, a bicycle valve cap, a paper clip and half a pack of sugar free chewing gum lying there. His bedside table is bursting with similar crap. Fixings for broken bike lights, empty refillable travel shampoo bottle, one glove, out of date rail card. I have been unwell for three years with cancer and he has overspilled from “ his areas” which are the basement the garage the shed and his office and started colonising the living room, the dining room and the hall surfaces. It makes him unhappy that he can’t control it but he doesn’t invest it any time or effort in clearing it. When I am well I can sort it all out into boxes of useable stuff and throw away the rubbish ( which he never misses). I am finished with treatment now and I can feel a wave of enthusiasm for the Great Tidyup building! Thank you x

I'm sorry you've been unwell but glad to see you're on the mend. Let the Great Tidyup begin!

DP also exudes just from existing. His pockets are usually full of random rubbish. My mum used to work in a residential home for adults with learning disabilities. One of their service-users called Mick use to collect anything and everything he found or used in his pockets.

Growing up, if I was being untidy, my mum would say "Stop being such a Mick". This has now spilled over into mine DP's vernacular 😂

OP posts:
LittleRayTheCat · 26/10/2023 16:08

Ginmonkeyagain · 26/10/2023 15:31

I tend to take the Stacey Solomon approach with Mr Monkey and pile everything in front of him and have three boxes - keep, recycle or bin and insist he stays there until everything is in the boxes.

Edited

Sadly, I think DP would opt to "keep" a lot of suff, claiming he'll fix it later. And so we're back to the start....

OP posts:
INeedAnotherName · 26/10/2023 16:30

I know this thread is light hearted but pp saying they can't wait for the Big Tidyup reminds me this is my Divorce Reason #23. However I have the really bad feeling, after saying he neeeeeds it, he will swan off and leave me to pay for a skip and physically eject it from the house. I'm feeling half resentment and half glee at the thought but I'm hoping the glee part wins. Anyone want to do a proxy throwout when it happens? 😂

TopOfTheCliff · 26/10/2023 16:42

@Ginmonkeyagain I adore Stacey Solomon. I threatened FH I would apply for the programme and he says he would pedal off on his bike for a year if I did. May not be such a bad idea though.

Ginmonkeyagain · 26/10/2023 16:47

The most annoying thing Mr Monkey does is bring rubbish home. So he will have an M&S sandwich at work and bring the card wrapper home in his bag. It seems to be some sort bizarre automatic reflex as he does it when we are out as well and I even offer to take stuff to the public bin.

LittleRayTheCat · 26/10/2023 17:08

Ginmonkeyagain · 26/10/2023 16:47

The most annoying thing Mr Monkey does is bring rubbish home. So he will have an M&S sandwich at work and bring the card wrapper home in his bag. It seems to be some sort bizarre automatic reflex as he does it when we are out as well and I even offer to take stuff to the public bin.

I think Mr Monkey and Mr Ray might be the same person

My DP does this too - just shoves all his rubbish in his bag or pockets and trots home with it. It either then stays there forever (see above re. carrier bag of doom and old chocolate bar wrappers) or it magics itself from said bag or pockets onto our kitchen worktop. Not into the bin - on to the worktop.

OP posts:
Teddleshon · 26/10/2023 19:27

And Mr Teddleshon too, brings home free newspapers from the train, absolutely every receipt and all packaging.

Ginmonkeyagain · 26/10/2023 21:40

OMG there are loads of them!

GreatGardenstuff · 27/10/2023 06:11

Yep, chuck the lot. None of that is worth keeping.

toomuchleopardprintforanintrovert · 27/10/2023 18:08

Euuuurrrggghhh is there any chance your DP is leading a double life because he sounds exactly like mine!
Chuck it away. That's what I do.

LittleRayTheCat · 28/10/2023 22:05

toomuchleopardprintforanintrovert · 27/10/2023 18:08

Euuuurrrggghhh is there any chance your DP is leading a double life because he sounds exactly like mine!
Chuck it away. That's what I do.

Double life?! Double?!

Judging by the comments here I think just my our DP is juggling about 28 wives, families and junk piles 😅

OP posts:
LittleRayTheCat · 28/10/2023 22:05

Junk piles.... sounds painful 😳

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