Or is boss correcting speech rude

[TeeedleDum]

My boss will correct myself and other colleagues during casual conversations if we say 'me and bob are going....' to 'bob and I are going....'. I find this really rude and unprofessional - I know 'bob and I' is correct and I would use this whilst working (e.g in meetings or in emails) but when I'm on my lunch break I don't expect to be corrected. Would you find this annoying/ patronising?

I do correct people when they say “should OF” instead of “should HAVE”, it’s a reflex, it’s what my parents said to me when I was a kid, and anyone who knows me knows I’m (kind of) joking. In fact when my OH occasionally says OF instead of HAVE he corrects himself immediately, saying “sorry, I meant should of have”!

And saying “myself” instead of me or I is tortured language that people seem to think sounds intelligent and educated. I probably would have to say something if I worked with you and you said stuff like that all the time. I’d certainly be thinking it. Sorry!

I did vote YANBU though, it sounds excessive and rude from your boss.

I bought a few of these mugs one Christmas to give to friends and family.

Or there’s this, maybe you and your colleagues could club together to get it for your boss?

https://www.theliterarygiftcompany.com/products/grammar-grumble-mugs-set

I do correct people when they say “should OF” instead of “should HAVE”, it’s a reflex, it’s what my parents said to me when I was a kid, and anyone who knows me knows I’m (kind of) joking.

I imagine you've managed to get rid of most of your other childhood reflexes? So I wonder why not this one. Of course they know you're not joking and probably don't find it funny.

There is so much on this thread. Correcting people is assholery. But if you're
Customer facing in a profession then you need to sort your speech! When we built our house we rejected one architect who DH referred to as the 'oik one'. It matters. Your boss has a point but he's not going about it the right way.

Maybe they’re saying should’ve? Should have and should’ve sound the same in my accent.
I’m guessing that’s how the whole ‘Should of’ thing came about in the first place

I bet the oik one was devastated he didn’t get chosen by your clearly very discerning dh.

@Karwomannghia But it does matter in business if you lose tenders because you sound unprofessional. It's not about being 'devastated'. It's about admitting you need to communicate clearly, effectively and professionally which means using proper grammar. Or at least making a reasonable stab at it!

Oik has connotations beyond grammar. It’s snobbery and dismissive. You may judge someone by their accent but don’t assume everyone else does.

Yes, this!

I was always taught to remove the other person from what’s being said, and if it doesn’t make sense, you’re using the wrong pronoun

I have a high standard of English and need to use correct vocabulary and grammar for my job. I reserve the right, when not in a direct work situation and speaking colloquially, to use the vocabulary, language and speech variations of the place where I grew up. Some of these might be seen as "poor grammar". I don't care. If this is your case then your boss is totally out of order.

Exactly. Everyone code-switches to a certain extent, depending on context and who they're talking to. Example right there in my last sentence. I'm a linguist. I know full well that technically it should be 'to whom they are talking'. Do I say that in casual conversation or on a chat forum? No.

If the OP is making grammatical mistakes when emailing clients or whatever, her boss is absolutely within his rights to correct her. If she's talking to a colleague in an informal context, he isn't.

I'm glad I don't work with you.

🤦🏼‍♀️

He’s comply wrong!

Its actually very simple; it’s “I” if youre doing the verb but “me” if the verb is being done to you.

I took a taxi
Bob and I took a taxi
The taxi took me to the airport
The taxi took Bob and me to the airport

Simples!

"I don't understand why posters write Ddog or Dcat either, so maybe that's just me."

Dcat? That comes from Latin, surely? When I was at public school someone would always say grace before we ate lunch. They always said "Benedictum, Benny Dcat".

You are correct! ("Andy was meeting I" makes no sense. "I was meeting Andy" on the other hand does.) Sounds like your boss is correcting your grammar when there's no need! Also it's pretty weird policing the way you speak - he isn't your parent or a teacher. Seems like he's just trying to exert some authority over you.

It may be widely used but it’s completely wrong.

I don't understand why posters write Ddog or Dcat either, so maybe that's just me.

Do you really mean that you don't understand it? Or do you just mean that you don't like it? It is very common on MN for posters to claim not to 'get' things as a way of being sneery about them.

In case you really don't understand it... It is very common and normal for groups and communities (whether online or irl) to develop their own slang, terminology, abbreviations etc, often in a humorous or ironic way. It becomes a bit of an in-joke and using it makes people feel like part of the group.

Some people are so pedantic they can’t help themselves. It is rude but…..

I’ve been in staff talent assessments where more junior people are being discussed for succession planning , additional training and supported development and judgements are made on appearance and speech.

And no I don’t work in the civil service

Using language in the same way that others around you use it isn't wrong.

It's what language is.

Most conversations "in the wild" aren't in formal standard English. Generations of our ancestors lived and died and communicated without any standard language.

It's useful to know the rules of formal standard English for professional communication, since we are taught this version and it's a (loose) marker for education. But it's normal and efficient for people to speak less formally.

But it's normal and efficient for people to speak less formally.
It's not just the informality, though. Politeness and humility say that, when listing people, you always place yourself last. OP knows this but, nonetheless, puts herself first ("My boss will correct myself and other colleagues...") in conversation.
Like I say, it's not a good look.