Or is boss correcting speech rude

[TeeedleDum]

My boss will correct myself and other colleagues during casual conversations if we say 'me and bob are going....' to 'bob and I are going....'. I find this really rude and unprofessional - I know 'bob and I' is correct and I would use this whilst working (e.g in meetings or in emails) but when I'm on my lunch break I don't expect to be corrected. Would you find this annoying/ patronising?

Odd, I always find people who correct other people's grammar come across as the unintelligent ones, especially when it comes to informal language.

Smart people realise that the key thing is that everyone in the conversation understands the meaning. Who cares if people say "who" or "whom".

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow , s far as I know, architecture doesn't cover grammar. Uni doesn't teach you everything. As you can see by the gaps in OP's grammar knowledge 🤷🏼‍♀️

And it's good to do CPD and keep learning... 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m afraid you’re mis-using “patronising” in this context. It means explaining something to somebody when they already know and understand the concept. OP does not already know the correct grammar.

know 'bob and I' is correct and I would use this whilst working

So why would you say something that isn't correct outside "working"?

I just don't get it at all. If you know there's a right and wrong way of saying something, surely it takes more brain power to work out which setting is appropriate.

Just say it the right way all the time!

The OP's boss is probably in despair at the amount of corrections he has to make in the OP's work and is desperately trying to get the message across that she needs to improve her grammar.

If her grammar is poor in non work settings, however much she thinks she gets it right in work, there's probably lots of errors in her work!

I’m not misusing the word, OP does know correct grammar as she uses that in her actual work (that’s in her original post). How she chooses to speak in her own time is up to her, as her boss well knows . So she is being patronised.

Happy to have cleared that up for you.

OP rather than being so offended by your boss you could take the feedback onboard for your own benefit. If you can't accept when you're wrong and take constructive criticism, you are only letting yourself down. Or do you prefer to continue to be seen as someone who is uneducated/ignorant of basic grammar?

Only total dicks correct people's informal speech.

Formal work, yes, of course.

But you have to be a total wanker to correct people in day to day speech and in other informal settings such as social media/ forums.

Regional variation is a thing. Typing quickly is a thing. As long as everyone understands each other, it really doesn't matter.

Not quite right, if you read all her posts- in a subsequent post she admitted that grammar was not her strong point and that she had been unsure about using “me” vs “myself”.

Problem is, the boss corrected her when she said “Andy met me and Bob” to “Andy met Bob and I”. The second of those is wrong in the UK (and sounds terrible). She shouldn’t take onboard other people’s wrong corrections.

@Prescottdanni123
"Excellent grammar is worthless if you don't have the manners to go with it"

👏👏👏

I was referring to the OP's first post where she admitted to saying "me and bob are going....' and her boss corrected her.

But obviously if the guy himself is running around correcting and criticising the OP wrongly, then she should definitely ignore him - or better yet, call him out on it.

I know 'bob and I' is correct and I would use this whilst working
Why use language that you know is wrong? It's not a good look.

This thread is a wind-up, isn't it.

Can I just correct you there (see what I did)?

It is wrong everywhere English is spoken, not just the UK.

I understand why you’re annoyed, however I correct poor grammar without thinking about it and yours is pretty bad

Of course it's rude, it's also patronising. I wonder, though, if he has had occasion to be concerned with your grammar in business communication in the past? Is that why he thinks it's okay to correct you, perhaps?

Don't you think that's quite rude?

I don't think it's acceptable to do this unless it's just your children or language students you're correcting.
Maybe you should start thinking about it.

Precisely.

I would add that it's fine to use different registers for different occasions at work. I speak differently when addressing the court to when I'm having a lunch with close colleagues. WhatsApps are different to formal letters. Etc.

And! I think the overuse of "myself", which grates on me too (but which I would never correct in another adult), is a result of people overcompensating to try and sound professional.

On the face of it your boss is being rude to correct you on your grammar on your lunchbreak. Is it just limited to you or does he correct everyone? I wonder would he correct a male member of staff?

However I do wonder are you using incorrect grammar with your clients without knowing and he is trying to deal with it in a informal manner rather that bringing it up formally

I would add that it's fine to use different registers for different occasions at work.
We all modulate our language to suit the occasion but 'modulating' doesn't mean 'forgetting how to use grammar'.

I’m afraid you’re mis-using “patronising” in this context. It means explaining something to somebody when they already know and understand the concept.

Nope.
OED first definition of 'patronise': Treat with an apparent kindness which betrays a feeling if superiority'. Second definition: 'To frequent as a customer'. Third definition: 'To act as a patron'.

I'd say the first definition is very apposite for the usual 'I'm just trying to help!' pedant. I'm not sure whether the OP's boss was even bothering to pretend to be kind though.

I understand why you’re annoyed, however I correct poor grammar without thinking about it

Oh how frightfully clever you must be, that correction of others' language just slips out as a natural expression of your own superiority! You can stop it, you know. You say you do it without thinking about it. Perhaps you should try thinking about it. Maybe if you did, you'd realise you were being rude.

Is this your boss?

We can all argue specific examples but if your boss thinks you sound uneducated because your speech is informal at work then it's a problem. Get to know your grammar and take him on! An uneducated sounding architect would definitely put off potential clients. Architects have lots of verbal back and forth with clients. It's a legitimate concern.

Not so. Patronising means condescending, having a condescending manner. Your definition isn't correct.