Or is boss correcting speech rude

[TeeedleDum]

My boss will correct myself and other colleagues during casual conversations if we say 'me and bob are going....' to 'bob and I are going....'. I find this really rude and unprofessional - I know 'bob and I' is correct and I would use this whilst working (e.g in meetings or in emails) but when I'm on my lunch break I don't expect to be corrected. Would you find this annoying/ patronising?

I definitely don't do it without thinking - takes a lot of effort. I do my best whilst working but on my lunch break (which I'm not paid for) I just want to relax. I'm not in education as a few people have asked, I'm an architect.

The other day he corrected 'Andy was meeting me and Bob at the...' to 'Andy was meeting Bob and I...' and I think I'm correct there but I may be wrong? As I said, grammars not my strong point.

Ddog is just a convention on here. It's simply not comparable with "myself" 🙄

It would be ‘ Bob and me’ in that context. So he was also wrong.

The trick is to take ‘Bob’ out.

Andy was meeting me makes sense, Andy was meeting I doesn’t

clearly I am not fluent in emojis 🙃

Yes he was wrong! It should have been 'Andy was meeting Bob and me'.

The other day he corrected 'Andy was meeting me and Bob at the...' to 'Andy was meeting Bob and I...' and I think I'm correct there but I may be wrong? As I said, grammars not my strong point

He's wrong but it should be Bob and me. Just leave Bob out the boss's version and it you hear how wrong it is: "Andy was meeting I".

Refer back isn’t good usage either.

Cross-posts!!!

I'm reminded of the brilliant scene in Erin Brocovich, where her boss suggests she might want to rethink her wardrobe

Her comeback was a classic 😂

Your boss is rude.

Pedants are bloody annoying. They think their grammar obsession trumps the need for basic manners.

Honestly think these kind of corrections are just obnoxious & elitist. Unless you use English in such a way as to obscure your meaning it really doesn't matter. Otherwise it's just someone trying to prove their superiority over you, that they are Better Than You because they Speak Properly. You're just an oik.

Probably don't know all the stupid rules for cutlery positions on plates either 🙄

I'd just point out you're not a fucking child & would prefer him not to treat you like one.

I think you need to start correcting your rude boss. There is nothing worse than a pedant who doesn't actually know the rules.

Andy was meeting me - correct
Andy was meeting Bob and me - correct

Andy was meeting Bob and I - incorrect
Andy was meeting I - incorrect.

The way to tell which is correct is to remove the other person so if it's "me" without anyone else, it's "me" with someone else, and the same for anyone else and "I".

The incorrect use of "x and I" drives me insane but I would never be so rude as to correct anyone other than my own children.

Sometimes what comes out naturally in speech isn't what you know to be correct.

If I'm reading to my daughter or speaking "properly" like a telephone voice, I will say my Ts, if I'm speaking casually to friends or family, I will often drop them, same with dropped H, and some grammar rules such as in the OP. For example, I would never say "Yeah I see that advert for that film yesterday" to anyone other than friends or my partner etc, I know it's "I saw", and will make the effort to speak properly when I feel it's needed. Honestly, I can switch between stuff like "I see" and "I saw" in the same conversation. I can't really explain why, it just comes out. Definitely didn't write "I see" in any of my qualifications though!

Most lunch breaks are unpaid, therefore not "still working".

Usage is a thing, you know.

Nobody needs to be corrected, on Mumsnet. Some people sure do feel the need to correct, though.

Lots of possibilities

Bonding. Code-switching. Relaxing. Favouring local or more widespread idiom over formal correctness.

There are no circumstances, for example, where I'd answer a relevant question with, 'that was I'. Boss could preen and posture all he liked. I'd go with colloquial usage and 'that was me' all the way.

In my experience, myselfers use the word out of a certain anxiety to carry off polite formality. I find it hard to get excited about it, myself.

Very healthy. Very normal. Sign of a sophisticated speaker without excessive hang-ups. Good for you.

Can you articulate why you used “myself” and not “me” in the first line of your post?

As others have explained, it is incorrect. However it’s the opposite sort of incorrect to a casual “me and Bob and going to the shops” - it’s hyper- correction in a misguided attempt to sound formal.

As to your boss correcting you, is this a role where you need to speak to people outside the company (clients, customers, public service users) a lot? If yes, he’s probably just trying to drill you so the same mistakes don’t come up in those work interactions as it doesn’t take much to form a bad impression. If not, the correction seems OTT.

The other day he corrected 'Andy was meeting me and Bob at the...' to 'Andy was meeting Bob and I...' and I think I'm correct there but I may be wrong? As I said, grammars not my strong point.

Yeah he was wrong.

I think you're correct but so far, it seems 'Bob and me' is the correct one.

I'd like to know why '...meeting me and Bob' isn't correct but '...meeting Bob and me' is. Shouldn't it be either way?

Where I live, myself is widely used & perfectly acceptable.

Actually I wrote 'me' first and then changed to 'myself' as I've got so in my head about using 'me' because of my boss. I thought if I got it wrong (which I clearly have) some people would be really nasty (which they have, for instance saying I should be shot)

Either is fine. There's an artificial rule (i.e. a grammarians' invention as to what sounds proper based on a particular logic imposed and prioritised over usage) that you put the other person before yourself in a sentence like this. There's no good cause to do so.

Putting the other person before 'I' is rooted in usage - much harder to hear the I in "I and the King" than "The King and I". But "I and my husband go shopping there" wouldn't be wrong - just quite unusual.

(Edited to fix italics)

Where I live, myself is widely used & perfectly acceptable

It may be perfectly acceptable but it's not correct. It's how much you care about it though. Or if someone feels the need to (wrongly in some parts of this) correct others for some kind of superiority kick.