What is this new form of slobdom?

[Theokaycokey]

Staying at a seaside resort in the UK. Large Hotel has a massive open atrium that is overlooked by hotel rooms and anyone walking along the promenade. The hotel restaurant is located smack bang in the middle of the atrium and is open to the reception area. I come down to breakfast this morning and a significant number of guests are sat in their pyjamas having their breakfast! Different families, all scattered around the restaurant or queuing at the breakfast buffet in their nightwear and fluffy slippers. This is the first time that I have come across this. Is it a relatively recent phenomenon?

Again
It has been explained over and over just because SOME disabled people use energy to look "smart" doesn't mean others don't have that energy to begin with or place higher value on things like playing with children or going for a walk even in their PJs

@XenoBitch

I agree that a lot of people enjoy a lie in on holiday and do just chuck on their clothes without showering before breakfast. I don't have a problem with that at all. You certainly wouldn't be able to tell if someone had done that or not.

@ButWhatAboutTheBees

Yes, and I get that. But I can assure you that it is highly unlikely that that was the case with these individuals. They had no difficulty going back and forth to the breakfast bar several times, waiting in line for pancakes, getting dressed up to the nines later on in the day, or headed out for the day to enjoy themselves on holiday. We saw one of the families out at the aquarium and another rolling in to the bar later on in the evening. It is highly unlikely that they were lacking spoons! Perhaps lacking in other respects, but not spoons.

You have invested far too much time and effort into watching other people.

I agree though that it is all about values and what people choose to do with their time and energy.

@XenoBitch

No, not really. The people who stuck out and were memorable were the people who wore pyjamas to breakfast. Aside from a couple of other families or guests who I met in the pool or the lift, I wouldn't have recognised most of the guests if I had seen them again. But some people do just stand out for all the wrong reasons, or conversely all the right reasons. It's all about first impressions.

When you say “they don’t do themselves any favours” what exactly do you mean? Because I can assure you wearing pyjamas in public occasionally does not have a detrimental effect on one’s life. If you mean ‘people are judging them’…so what? They won’t care! If you mean “I don’t like it because I’m a slave to arbitrary etiquette rules and overinvested in other people’s lives”, that’s not really affecting the pyjama-wearers, is it?

@TedMullins

What I mean is that getting up and dressed is good for you. It's good for your self motivation. It's good for your health. If you are stuck in a rut then wearing pyjamas isn't going to help you feel physically and mentally better. Call me cynical, but I also think that if you are the type of person who cannot be bothered to quickly throw some clothes on in the morning, then it's probably not just a one off. They probably lounge around at home in them a lot too. Like it or not, the world is full of lots of fairly arbitrary rules, not just relating to appearance. I think that making a small effort by getting dressed shows people that you are prepared to make an effort generally and work harder than those who don't. People will judge both ways.

I wouldn't even answer my front door in my PJs let alone go for breakfast in a hotel

Right, but we can choose to a degree which rules we want to follow. And I don’t think nipping down for breakfast or even to the shop in PJs is the same as lying around all day at home doing nothing. But if people who WFH want to do it in PJs again, why are you bothered?

That still doesn't tell you whether or not someone is disabled though. Often it's only those close to them that know how much they hold it together for patches of time

I can do interesting things, provided it's balanced by substantial time lying down. People only see the "doing interesting things" bit and not the "Time lying down" bit. And they don't see all the adaptations I make to "do things" or the fall out when I over do it.

Today I over did it. I was helping with an event for my daughter. I did far too much (although did try and sit down whenever I could). I got to the end of the day and lost my ability to see (extreme double vision) or speak, swallow or hold my head up. But noone sees that side of me except my family. I don't disagree with your basic premise that there's no excuse for going to hotel breakfast in pyjamas (I use room service if ill) but I strongly disagree with your assumption that you can know from fleeing glimpses whether someone is disabled.

😂👍💯

I’m very sorry, I quoted the wrong post, I’m going to ask mn to delete my previous one.

Everyone is allowed to prioritize.

But if one chooses not to prioritize the basic standards of public decorum, perhaps it's best to frequent places with lower standards.

Not unilaterally lower the standards to suit oneself, at the expense of people who are paying for and expect a more refined experience.

Everyone is allowed to prioritize.

But if onechoosesnot to prioritize the basic standards of public decorum, perhaps it's best to frequent places with lower standards.

Not unilaterally lower the standards to suit oneself, at the expense of people who are paying for and expect a more refined experience.

Have we actually established which hotels ban/frown on particular clothing choices of their guests, or specify what their 'standards' are - so that we can check if they align with the arbitrary ones that certain snobbish people on here are assuming simply must be the only relevant ones, as they are the ones that they care about?

Because if they don't specify any preferences that they may have, we can only assume that they leave it up to their customers to decide what is appropriate, and that they would intervene in the unlikely event that they should disagree with any customer's unreasonably wild interpretation.

I take it that the judgemental people on this thread realise that hotels are not usually run as charities, meaning that those whom they have taken against and wish were not there have paid for the provided services, just the same as they have? For all you know, you may well act in petty ways that arbitrarily mildly annoy/offend them, just as they seem to have done to upset you,

If it matters so very much to you that your standards prevail, there's absolutely nothing stopping you from booking out - and paying for - all of the available rooms on the day that you are gracing them with your presence, as long as you put in the effort to be early enough to do so. Or it may be easier to just buy your own hotel and then single-handedly forensically vet everybody who requests to book, to ensure that they will meet your exacting standards for your establishment.

Alternatively, you could always just make minor decisions for yourself, according to your own preferences; and let others make their own minor decisions for themselves. Simpler still, why not just focus on your own life and ignore how others live theirs, other than holding doors open or saying Please and Thank you on the odd brief occasions when your paths cross in the place where you both happen to be accessing services?

I would hate to have been brought up in a family where you can't walk around your own home in your dressing gown. Talk about stilted.

As for being "common", there are no words.

I do agree with this. I hate lounging round in my pyjamas. I don’t have the most robust history of mental health so I take care with these sorts of slippery slopes.

I still can’t get too excited about other people doing it, even in hotel restaurants. I mean, I don’t think it’s good, but when I see people on threads like this falling over each other to be the most offended by imaginary hygiene issues, I do dig my heels in a bit and think 'yes, but why are you so offended by someone else’s clothes?’ It doesn’t seem healthy to be so uptight, somehow.

Totally agree givemeasunnyday. The idea of not being able to be comfortable in your home kind of breaks my heart.

I've just clicked on that Sun link and - oh, wow! It's actually more unsavoury than I'd imagined. Yes, I think those pjs had definitely just got out of bed. I was imagining from the supportive posts here, that people were wearing the 'lounge-wear' sort of floaty, loose, silky pjs.

No, I wouldn't like this when I'm feeling a bit delicate at breakfast time.

I couldn’t do it! But get it for kids pretty good idea really especially if staying over night for a special day out or something as nothing worse then the outfit you had planned the day getting food on it before you’ve even started!

on the other hand me and my friend got a comment yesterday as we had taken all our kids to a swimming lesson and they all did really well so treated them to hot chocolate on the way home they had all showered but had onesies and crocs on and some busy body at announced very loudly ‘why are those children still in their pyjamas’ we did answer her question and said they’ve all just done a swimming crash course and did so well they are here for a treat….we’re not just lazy parents 😂

moral of the story don’t judge and enjoy your life

Yes, I’ve just had a look too. Those people look rough! Especially the guy with no shirt - I mean ffs.

It’s definitely more to do with the fit of the garments rather than whether people have washed or not, I’d say. (Because you can’t really know the latter.)

But I’m still intrigued about the extreme delicacy of some people 😂Why are you feeling so delicate in the morning, and does it improve by, say, lunchtime?

Instead of getting out of bed in pyjamas and going straight down to breakfast, why not instead put on comfortable underwear/jersey harem pants/a top that doesn't have a 'sleep' bedtime slogan on it? It can all be made from the same material! Are they trying to save on baggage fares or something?

Interesting some posters commenting on how they were brought up. One of the 'standards' I was brought up with was that it was ill-mannered to pass comment about others, even if it was not done in their hearing. TBF the internet hadn't been invented then, but just because we are all sat behind a keyboard doesn't really change the fact that this is all sound a bit like 'common' gossips on doorsteps. 'Ooh, look at 'er! She's never goin' out in that!'.
Whilst holding up standards for outward appearances seems to be of paramount importance to some of you, it seems a bit of a shame fewer people care about some other standards that were once important. Not judging a book by its cover? If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything? (Of course, that would make the internet somewhat dull).
Yes, people have always judged others. But there was a time when, in polite circles, we didn't air our judgements in public. I wasn't even from anything remotely like a posh or wealthy background, but my mother wanted me to have manners which cost nothing. And that included not making negative remarks about strangers attire to other people.
I know this is the internet and this what we do, here. I am not innocent, not by a long chalk. Nevertheless, it still strikes me that there are some standards we seem happy to drop in the pursuit of publicly condemning people we know nothing about other than what they put on for breakfast in a hotel.

the basic standards of public decorum

The basic standard is to wear clothes. Not being naked in public, bar specific places it is allowed, is the basic standard.

What you wear and is considered decent had changed vastly over the years. A couple of hundred years ago a woman showing her ankle was scandalous. 60 years ago a woman wearing a miniskirt was the height of fashion. 30 years ago shell suits were all the rage...