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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ice cream van outside school

196 replies

MummyJasmin · 23/10/2023 17:03

It’s nearly November and we still have the ice cream van turning up outside primary school! I appreciate he has to make a living but can he not stick to summer or park up somewhere away from the youngest children?

You could maybe reason with an older child but a recently turned 3yo, is nigh on impossible! My lo finishes school tired and therefore prone to be irritable. I usually give in because I can’t be doing with the drama or attention from other parents - by drama I mean screaming and tantrumming etc! He parks in such a place where he cannot be avoided.

I rang my local council and they weren’t bothered. So long as it wasn’t a public protection matter he wasn’t doing anything wrong. The woman I was speaking to had thr audacity to suggest I needed to reason with my 3 yo…so wtf now it’s a parenting issue?! That’s not how 3yos are!

Ive sent an email to the school but I doubt they will do anything

aibu?

OP posts:
Wonkasworld · 23/10/2023 18:35

Raisinganiguana · 23/10/2023 18:29

@Wonkasworld what’s that got to do with what I posted? We all know there are many bad parents out there, trying to protect our kids in easy ways is surely a win? Not having an ice cream van directly outside a school - easy health win.

No, you want to take the easy way out.

Nopenopenopenopenopenope · 23/10/2023 18:35

Your child is tired and annoying you so you give in to them, and it's someone else's fault?

TerfTalking · 23/10/2023 18:35

My classic response to DC was the one that my mother used. "sorry, I don't have any money for ice cream today"

I live on a street with two primaries and a high school. The high school kids are always queueing at the van, the little ones less so, so clearly their mums have managed to say no.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/10/2023 18:37

lanthanum · 23/10/2023 18:22

At one stage we had one turning up daily. Most of us deliberately didn't carry any money on the school run. I do wonder whether he'd have done rather better if he'd parked outside a different school each day of the week - if he'd only been there on Thursdays, some might have decided that Thursday was treat day, but with him there every day, it was better to never give in. I like the "is it Friday AND hot?" idea.

One day a week here wouldn't work, each van has a school of their own, plus one that does the park. Family business

Raisinganiguana · 23/10/2023 18:37

No, you want to take the easy way out

no what? And easy way out of what? Are you quite okay???

verabarbleen · 23/10/2023 18:37

In the nicest possible way you do just have to learn to say no and accept the tantrum, I couldn't afford this and to be fair if I could I would probably have given in a lot too but because I can't then mine just have to accept that, they still get upset but I promise them other nice things instead. It will be fine! I know how horrible it can be dealing with a tantrum in public , it's happened to me today 🙈 just say no no no!! Don't let them win 😂

Ohgetreal · 23/10/2023 18:37

You need to learn to say no and mean it.

Otherwise you're going to come up against this again and again.

Yes it's embarrassing when your kid has a tantrum but we e all been there. Kids will throw a strip but they soon get over it.

We have an ice cream van outside school, my child knows they get one maybe once or twice a term, if it's a nice day and I've got my purse.

Maddy70 · 23/10/2023 18:39

Also. Whi only eats ice cream in the summer #missing point altogether

Timeturnerplease · 23/10/2023 18:39

DD2 is 2.3 years old. She understands ‘no ice cream today, we’re going home now’. She might not always like it, but what’s the alternative - avoiding the supermarket/cafes/ice cream shops until she’s older?

Saying no gets easier the more you have to do it.

Wonkasworld · 23/10/2023 18:40

Raisinganiguana · 23/10/2023 18:37

No, you want to take the easy way out

no what? And easy way out of what? Are you quite okay???

Perfectly, thank you. Just had a gorgeous raspberry ripple ice cream, with fuck off flakes and wafers 👯

Weedoormatnomore · 23/10/2023 18:40

We used to walk past an ice shop and drive passed a Mcdonalds had to deal with a kids taturums too was short lived as sometimes I had no money so no matter what he did I couldn't suddenly change my mind. So we made it a Friday end of term thing.

funinthesun19 · 23/10/2023 18:41

It’s one of those things I’d inwardly grumble at. “God I wish you wasn’t here ffs”. Like someone pressing the button on the bus before my DD gets chance to 🤦🏼‍♀️. “Why did you have to do it first ffs.” In my head I’m grumbling at them.

Completely my problem and not the ice cream van man’s or the other passenger’s fault that my DD has meltdowns, but I secretly seethe at them for being triggers.

funinthesun19 · 23/10/2023 18:43

Or like a shopping centre that has a ride or the town centre suddenly has some rides put up over the weekend. If we don’t have the time or money to do it, I just find those things are really big nuisance for affecting my day. Still my problem though, but equally so I’m not sorry for feeling that way.

bathrobeandpie · 23/10/2023 19:07

funinthesun19 · 23/10/2023 18:43

Or like a shopping centre that has a ride or the town centre suddenly has some rides put up over the weekend. If we don’t have the time or money to do it, I just find those things are really big nuisance for affecting my day. Still my problem though, but equally so I’m not sorry for feeling that way.

you have the right to have any feelings you want, you might even be completely justified.

The problem would start if you were following the OP, and start writing complaint letters to the bus company, or the council about the rides, or anyone you could think of because you can't be bothered to say no.

LadyEloise1 · 23/10/2023 19:15

Mumoftwotoddlers · 23/10/2023 17:05

You're being ridiculous, tell your 3 year old no and walk around the ice cream van.

👏🏻

DanceMumTaxi · 23/10/2023 19:44

It honestly baffles me that people think Headteachers have power over the street in front of school. They can no more police an ice cream van as where people park. They are in charge of a school not the whole street. They also have much more important things to deal with than an ice cream van so maybe just let them get on with the job they’re paid for. Incidentally, there is one outside my dc school. Most of the time I just say no, and very occasionally say yes. This is parenting choice, it’s got nothing to do with school or the Headteacher.

Areallyboringperson · 23/10/2023 19:48

I’d be surprised if it even sold ice cream. The ones that parked outside our high school were strictly just sausage rolls, sweets, individual fags and drugs.

Vistada · 23/10/2023 19:50

The absolute audacity of the council suggesting you need to parent your child!

nutbrownhare15 · 23/10/2023 19:52

Phrases I have on repeat: 'oh dear I don't have my purse' 'we only have ice creams on Fridays, today is Wednesday so two more sleeps til an ice cream!' Etc. Decide your own boundaries and.comunicate them frequently, prior to the pick up so he understands the rules rather than hopes in the moment that you'll.give in

Bex5490 · 23/10/2023 19:53

Areallyboringperson · 23/10/2023 19:48

I’d be surprised if it even sold ice cream. The ones that parked outside our high school were strictly just sausage rolls, sweets, individual fags and drugs.

Now THATS an icecream van 😂😂😂

MrsBigTed · 23/10/2023 19:59

Thesearmsofmine · 23/10/2023 17:08

You just have to say no and carry through with it, the same as when they see a toy or something shiny in the supermarket.

If I had an ice cream van I would do hot chocolates etc in cooler months.

This is genius, why dont they do this?!

bathrobeandpie · 23/10/2023 19:59

Areallyboringperson · 23/10/2023 19:48

I’d be surprised if it even sold ice cream. The ones that parked outside our high school were strictly just sausage rolls, sweets, individual fags and drugs.

where on earth do you live? 😂

All2Well · 23/10/2023 20:03

We had an icecream van outside our school every day of our time there (it was a 3-18 all through school). I'd save up my change from pocket money and treat myself every 3/6 weeks. It didn't just sell icecream, it sold sweets, cans, hot drinks etc. Lovely lady ran it, I still see the van out and about and think of her fondly.

It's such a non issue. I'm astounded you'd report it, how odd.

Gidrich · 23/10/2023 20:07

SleepingStandingUp · 23/10/2023 18:25

How do you going anywhere if you expect anything you don't want him to have to be magically out of your way?? We have one outside school, gutted it wasn't there for the mini heat wave but hey ho. Kids Inc 3 year olds told no. Same as I'd say no to Spiderman Toys from the Toy Truck or Halloween costumes from the costume truck. Just like I do in town of they want to go in Smyths or of the dodgy pop up shops. And yes, DT2 had an epic meltdown. Still didn't go in the shop. He learnt it doesn't work.

Melty ice creams are annoying but you just have to sit still, encourage them to eat it, and lick the drips 🤢############

Show quote history

Yep- I don’t understand how some people get through life without being able to cope with saying no.

The world is full of temptation for children- do you expect other children not to have sweets on the playground? The toy section of supermarkets to close? No one to buy Christmas presents for their kids in case you can’t afford to buy them too? how about bikes- should they be banned because some people can’t afford them?!

You need to learn to parent YOUR child- no one else is responsible for doing it for you.

Gifgirl · 23/10/2023 20:54

OP are you the Mum on our school WhatsApp group that keeps trying to get everyone to complain about the food at school? Cos they dare to have some processed food. Oh, and is it free from toxins and is what it comes in free from BPA?

ARE YOU THAT MUM????