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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ice cream van outside school

196 replies

MummyJasmin · 23/10/2023 17:03

It’s nearly November and we still have the ice cream van turning up outside primary school! I appreciate he has to make a living but can he not stick to summer or park up somewhere away from the youngest children?

You could maybe reason with an older child but a recently turned 3yo, is nigh on impossible! My lo finishes school tired and therefore prone to be irritable. I usually give in because I can’t be doing with the drama or attention from other parents - by drama I mean screaming and tantrumming etc! He parks in such a place where he cannot be avoided.

I rang my local council and they weren’t bothered. So long as it wasn’t a public protection matter he wasn’t doing anything wrong. The woman I was speaking to had thr audacity to suggest I needed to reason with my 3 yo…so wtf now it’s a parenting issue?! That’s not how 3yos are!

Ive sent an email to the school but I doubt they will do anything

aibu?

OP posts:
43ontherocksporfavor · 23/10/2023 17:15

I heard parents in Aldi on Saturday. Approx 3 yr old was crying for sweets Dad kept saying no there are sweets at home, I thought he was doing well . Then mum came over and offered a sticky bun (!!) and the child threw the packet saying “I do t want that I want sweets!” I would’ve said no the first time then ignored any further pleas.

CyberCritical · 23/10/2023 17:16

We have the same, I say no. Doesn't always go down well but that's just the way it is, sometimes parents say things that kids don't like.

Paltrypam · 23/10/2023 17:16

The woman I was speaking to had thr audacity to suggest I needed to reason with my 3 yo…so wtf now it’s a parenting issue?!

yup

BiggerBoat1 · 23/10/2023 17:16

Your child has learnt that if they create enough fuss you will give in to them. The ice-cream seller has not created this problem.

Londonrach1 · 23/10/2023 17:16

Just say no. Can't see the issue you the parent child is a child.

Topseyt123 · 23/10/2023 17:16

Of course it's a parenting issue! What a silly comment.

If you don't want to buy an ice-cream then just say no to your child and mean it. Ignore any tantrums and don't give in.

The ice-cream vendor is trying to make a living and provided that they are not illegally parked then it is absolutely fine.

Squirrelsbite · 23/10/2023 17:17

Considering how many people were queued up at maccies this afternoon blocking a main road , an awful lot of people can’t say no to their kids
looks like you cat either OP

Original poster
MummyJasmin · 23/10/2023 17:17

FYI. Thank you for your kind words but she is actually fine in the Tesco (or any other supermarket) toy or dessert aisle 😂

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 23/10/2023 17:18

The woman on the phone was correct , you need to parent your child .

jwilf · 23/10/2023 17:18

You are NOT being unreasonable. I bloody hate ice cream vans, even though I like ice cream. Yes, you can say no to your child. And then deal with the screaming meltdown that might ensue, which would have been completely avoided if the stupid ice cream van wasn't there.

I don't get why they are allowed to just park up wherever they like (quite often unlicensed) and sit there with their filthy diesel engines running for hours, pumping toxic fumes into the air right outside a school or playground. Why do we excuse them because they are "just trying to make a living?" Who cares? What if a van turned up outside your school selling overpriced Spiderman toys or Halloween costumes or literally anything else, would that be OK?

A few weeks ago I took my DS4 to a park and there was an unexpected ice cream van next to the car park. He screamed blue murder that he wanted an ice cream, I was going to say no but then a kindly old lady offered to buy him one, I couldn't really say no to that. The ice cream then proceeded to melt in the sun and drip all over the place, triggering another tantrum from DS. The whole situation could have been avoided if the stupid ice cream van wasn't there.

Rant over.

Original poster
MummyJasmin · 23/10/2023 17:18

Good idea will give this a go - thank you.

OP posts:
coveredindoghairs · 23/10/2023 17:19

LOL
I actually kind of agree with you that it's annoying of him to park right outside a school, though obvious why he'd want that spot.

However, you're very unreasonable to think that a 3-year-old can't be dealt with except by giving in to avoid a tantrum. You'll have to grit your teeth and ignore any impolite staring, but it's better for you and your child in the long run if you deal with this now.

Original poster
MummyJasmin · 23/10/2023 17:20

Thank you for understanding 😘
My 5yo is absolutely fine! Kids, even siblings, can be so different, who knew?!

OP posts:
Inittwowinit · 23/10/2023 17:20

This cannot be real 😂

TeaGinandFags · 23/10/2023 17:21

When my eldest was little he was hooked on ice cream and that bloody van went up and down my road three times a day. We had ice cream and lollies in the freezer so it wasn't as if he went without, but everytime that bloody van drove past he'd give me no peace.

So ...

So I told him that the child catcher ftom Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was hidden inside the van.

Peace.

Bliss.

Then he went to visit his nanny and the phone melted on me.

When he came back he was fuming.

Himawarigirl · 23/10/2023 17:22

It annoys me that they park outside our school because of the fumes they’re pumping out. That might be something to address with the council. I know from asking that our school has no say over the van parking opposite the gate. But that doesn’t seem to be your issue. You are the one in charge and perhaps need to weather a tantrum or two to help your child understand that you’re the one making the decision.

INeedAnotherName · 23/10/2023 17:22

The woman I was speaking to had thr audacity to suggest I needed to reason with my 3 yo…so wtf now it’s a parenting issue?! That’s not how 3yos are!
Yes it is a parenting issue. You say no and the child learns to accept it. Unless you never say no?

We used to say if the ice cream van was there on a Friday DD could have an ice cream as an end of week treat. We kept our word and she was happy to ignore it mon-thurs, no tears or tantrums.

Nowanextraone · 23/10/2023 17:23

Omg we have this outside my children's school too. Of course I can and do say no to my children, but the ice cream van being outside school most days makes me have a conversation I don't want to have as soon as I pick the brats up from school 🤣 Wonder if it's the same school as us!

Original poster
MummyJasmin · 23/10/2023 17:23

My kids have never had a McDs and wouldn’t care if we drove past one.

They have never kicked up a fuss in the toy or dessert aisles either….contrary to the many posts here who sound like they know my kids lol. 😂

OP posts:
Beezknees · 23/10/2023 17:23

YABU. Let the 3 year old have a tantrum and deal with it, that's part of parenting. It's not the ice cream vendor's problem.

Original poster
MummyJasmin · 23/10/2023 17:25

Haha possibly! He is actually a very chatty and friendly guy! I have to have a chat with him even though I’m rushed and have to go home and finish work 😂

OP posts:
Paltrypam · 23/10/2023 17:25

So you’re saying it literally is just ice cream vans?

WarmWinterSun · 23/10/2023 17:25

I disagree with the majority on this. I don’t think it’s right for an ice cream van to be selling ice cream outside a school, for the same reason my local community objected to a McDonalds opening up close to a local primary school. It makes life difficult for parents who say no and contributes to childhood obesity for parents who say yes. The amount of sugar and junk that is peddled to primary school aged children is ridiculous and as a society we can do better than this.

Original poster
MummyJasmin · 23/10/2023 17:26

Haha!
I may have to give this a go! 😜

OP posts:
43ontherocksporfavor · 23/10/2023 17:28

I agree @WarmWinterSun it it needs to be banned by local authorities. However the child needs to know that Mum says no!
I work in primary school and the amount of sweets we have to give out for parents for their child’s birthday is unreal. Sometimes several a week!

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