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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ice cream van outside school

196 replies

MummyJasmin · 23/10/2023 17:03

It’s nearly November and we still have the ice cream van turning up outside primary school! I appreciate he has to make a living but can he not stick to summer or park up somewhere away from the youngest children?

You could maybe reason with an older child but a recently turned 3yo, is nigh on impossible! My lo finishes school tired and therefore prone to be irritable. I usually give in because I can’t be doing with the drama or attention from other parents - by drama I mean screaming and tantrumming etc! He parks in such a place where he cannot be avoided.

I rang my local council and they weren’t bothered. So long as it wasn’t a public protection matter he wasn’t doing anything wrong. The woman I was speaking to had thr audacity to suggest I needed to reason with my 3 yo…so wtf now it’s a parenting issue?! That’s not how 3yos are!

Ive sent an email to the school but I doubt they will do anything

aibu?

OP posts:
Original poster
MummyJasmin · 23/10/2023 17:28

WarmWinterSun · 23/10/2023 17:25

I disagree with the majority on this. I don’t think it’s right for an ice cream van to be selling ice cream outside a school, for the same reason my local community objected to a McDonalds opening up close to a local primary school. It makes life difficult for parents who say no and contributes to childhood obesity for parents who say yes. The amount of sugar and junk that is peddled to primary school aged children is ridiculous and as a society we can do better than this.

Thank you!

I wonder if so many of the amazing mums on here would be saying the same if there was a McDs outside their school?!

(Not so amazing are you lol)

OP posts:
AhBiscuits · 23/10/2023 17:28

No he shouldn't have to seriously impact his business because you can't parent your 3 year old.

caban · 23/10/2023 17:29

Sorry but it's definitely a parenting issue Grin

Let the ice cream man earn a living!

Maddy70 · 23/10/2023 17:29

Parent your child so when yob say no they respect that

What do you expect to the school to do?

He's trying to make a living. Grow up

Beezknees · 23/10/2023 17:29

WarmWinterSun · 23/10/2023 17:25

I disagree with the majority on this. I don’t think it’s right for an ice cream van to be selling ice cream outside a school, for the same reason my local community objected to a McDonalds opening up close to a local primary school. It makes life difficult for parents who say no and contributes to childhood obesity for parents who say yes. The amount of sugar and junk that is peddled to primary school aged children is ridiculous and as a society we can do better than this.

It's your job as a parent to tell your kids no. I live a 5 minute walk from a McDonald's and my child isn't obese, because I told him no. If you can't be bothered to do that because it makes life "difficult", that's tough.

Jewelspun · 23/10/2023 17:29

Good luck to someone in a seasonal job where the good weather makes all the difference to his income.

I can't believe you are really serious about this!

Blessedbethefruitz · 23/10/2023 17:32

You'd love it here, we still have 2 ice cream vans right outside of primary school!

Original poster
MummyJasmin · 23/10/2023 17:32

we have a McDs close by too and mine have never kicked a fuss about this either 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Sirzy · 23/10/2023 17:32

MummyJasmin · 23/10/2023 17:28

Thank you!

I wonder if so many of the amazing mums on here would be saying the same if there was a McDs outside their school?!

(Not so amazing are you lol)

Show quote history

That wouldn’t bother me either, again I can control things. Just like many schools have shops nearby but buying sweets after school isn’t compulsory either.

Mumoftwotoddlers · 23/10/2023 17:33

If a McDonald's opened outside my kids school I'd be thrilled, one because I could grab a sneaky burger before pick up every so often and my kids could have it as a treat once a month or so. I know how to say no to my children and they understand being told no

Thesearmsofmine · 23/10/2023 17:34

MummyJasmin · 23/10/2023 17:28

Thank you!

I wonder if so many of the amazing mums on here would be saying the same if there was a McDs outside their school?!

(Not so amazing are you lol)

Show quote history

Funnily enough there is a McDonalds right near our local primary school, it only opened last year. Most schools will have a sweet shop near by too.
It’s not about about being amazing it’s literally about basic parenting and saying no. Some kids are more prone to tantrum than others, my youngest loved to lie on the floor when he was cross, many times I stood and waited while he laid there prone on the pavement until he got bored and got back up and we carried on with our day.

fruitbrewhaha · 23/10/2023 17:35

So you just give your three year old what ever they want to avoid a meltdown?

LylaLee · 23/10/2023 17:35

MummyJasmin · 23/10/2023 17:32

we have a McDs close by too and mine have never kicked a fuss about this either 🤷‍♀️

They've not kicked a fuss about that, or about the dessert aisle because they know it won't do any good.

Your 3yo knows now that if they tantrum hard enough they get an ice cream.

All the parents there understand that you can't give into a tantrum. They've all been there.

AbbeyGailsParty · 23/10/2023 17:35

Practice saying no now while LO is only 3. Soon they’ll move on to puppy/kitten/pony then Xbox, £200+ trainers, latest iPhone.

Original poster
MummyJasmin · 23/10/2023 17:36

I have a sweet shop and McDs nearby and my kids have never made a fuss.

OP posts:
Hedgehogtunnel · 23/10/2023 17:36

It's the usual mother-blaming that's all-pervasive on Mumsnet, ironically.

Of course a three year old is going to have a tantrum if you say no. Of course that's incredibly stressful and difficult. Of course the ice cream seller knows this: that's why they park outside schools! It's not like they imagine parents are eager to buy their children ice creams, especially not in winter!

Yes, it's true that the idea with tantrums and saying no is that you validate and empathise with the emotions while being firm with the no, but it really isn't the case that this will ensure the three year old no longer has tantrums after a few occasions.

Having said that, there's not much else you can do and I'd suggest trying not to worry about what other parents think about the tantrums. If it's true that their three year olds aren't also tantrumming about ice creams at collection time, perhaps ask them cheerfully how they manage it!

Or try distraction: find a toy or snack that's healthier but tempting enough that your child forgets the ice cream van.

Gifgirl · 23/10/2023 17:37

Learn. To. Say. No.

The kid is 3, not a baby!

PosterBoy · 23/10/2023 17:37

I thought you were going to say he was selling drugs.

Cyclistmumgrandma · 23/10/2023 17:37

You doubt the school will do anything?? Just what, exactly, do you expect the school to do? They have no control over who parks where on the public street. As has been said, just learn to say no to your child.

Tinkerbyebye · 23/10/2023 17:39

So now everyone else has to do your parenting?

just say no, put up with the tantrums, by giving in to them they will start tantruming more

Wouldyouguess · 23/10/2023 17:39

Surprised the LA has not got the Interpol involved.

Original poster
MummyJasmin · 23/10/2023 17:40

She had only recently turned three. She had lot of medical issues in the 2 years following her birth. She actually isn’t spoilt. She’s never tantrummed about toys or sweets. It’s just when she’s tired she can be a bit of a ‘mare! Had the van been parked first thing or if we see it outside the park on a summers afternoon I’d be able to reason with her.

thank you for your post.

OP posts:
Ilovelifeverymuch · 23/10/2023 17:41

MummyJasmin · 23/10/2023 17:03

It’s nearly November and we still have the ice cream van turning up outside primary school! I appreciate he has to make a living but can he not stick to summer or park up somewhere away from the youngest children?

You could maybe reason with an older child but a recently turned 3yo, is nigh on impossible! My lo finishes school tired and therefore prone to be irritable. I usually give in because I can’t be doing with the drama or attention from other parents - by drama I mean screaming and tantrumming etc! He parks in such a place where he cannot be avoided.

I rang my local council and they weren’t bothered. So long as it wasn’t a public protection matter he wasn’t doing anything wrong. The woman I was speaking to had thr audacity to suggest I needed to reason with my 3 yo…so wtf now it’s a parenting issue?! That’s not how 3yos are!

Ive sent an email to the school but I doubt they will do anything

aibu?

Hahahahaha so instead of working on your parenting style and handling your child you're calling the council, emailing the school etc.

What next write to your MP and petition the European Commission of Human Rights? 😂😆

iklboo · 23/10/2023 17:42

I have a sweet shop and McDs nearby and my kids have never made a fuss.

So why is it just the ice cream van that's a problem for you?

TheDuck2018 · 23/10/2023 17:42

Of course it's a parenting issue ...you say no and mean no, then move on. He's learnt if he tantrums then he's going to get an ice cream because you'll give in to him and blame everyone else.....wonder what will be next??

And you emailed the school......oh wow, would love to have been in that staffroom when they read that one out!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣