Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

[paintityellow]

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year.
Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year.
AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

I don’t know, would it kill you to recognise that the importance you place on Christmas being for children isn’t a viewpoint shared by everyone? Or indeed that you and your children aren’t more important to other people than themselves and their own families/friends?

Irrespective of whether people have kids, where do people get the nerve to think they can dictate when others get their holidays? It's crazy. when you have kids, you have to work around them. They dictate your life for quite a while. It's a balancing act. It's very difficult at times (summer hols 😪) but this is the choice you make when you choose to become a parent. Childfree people don't deserve to be included in our juggling act, they didn't have the child and all that comes with it.

Catholics are Christians too. 😊

That isn’t a problem that the childfree/less are required to solve.

Well I used to work with a few colleagues from other countries. Mainly Oz or NZ and they'd be given the whole bloody month of Dec off after saving up their leave all year. The rest of us would be hastled to "use it or lose it" but they'd get special allowance to go and see their families. Luckily since Ive had kids I've been working at a company that closes on Christmas Eve and re-opens Jan 2nd so no issue.

Christmas is all about kids.

If this is what you've taught your children then I feel sorry for them, you've done a poor job.

I often wonder if some on this site breed simply to have a fistful of trump cards, 'I've managed to do what millions do so I'm special'.

In a previous job I was always happy to work Christmas so that those with young kids could have it off. I agree with other posters that Christmas is more special for young children.

We don't work Christmas in my current job but I always defer to those with kids when taking annual leave in school holidays. It's considerate to take colleagues needs into account rather than thinking of only your own.

I'd hope someone would do the same for me when I need it, and if they didn't I'd probably think they were a bit tight, but it is what it is.

What if the nursery workers and childminders have young children?

Some people are very entitled and selfish when they think that their family outweighs everyone else

I have a SIL who really bought into the "be kind" to parents and worked Christmas day for 10 consecutive years so that colleagues could be off with their small children. But was this reciprocated when she had her own children? Nope - the people who had never worked Christmas threw huge tantrums.

No, they really really don't. Your children don't trump anyone else's family.

Pmsl. Another classic snidey dig. Yes you do you OP. I on the other hand are a better person than you is the obvious inference.

I did my share of Xmas working when my kids were little. Literally every Christmas and Easter I was at work.
If I get Xmas off, I take it whether others have got kids or not.
Your kids aren't my problem.
Anyone asking me to swap gets told where to go and told not to ask me again because the answer will still be no.

@SoShallINever yes that's why I included them in my statement.

Surely if people have to bid for it off, then there’s no point in people swapping, otherwise people wouldn’t have asked for it off to start off with. I think it’s unfair that people who don’t have kids will always be expected to give it up every time. There will always be someone with kids expecting it. They need to suck it up and work every other year, since they can get priority if they work the previous year.

As you say it's not relevant to your family so you have no idea! When DS was little he'd be up about 5 or 6 so would experience the magic with him and then him and his dad would have a lovely day building toys, playing some of the games and DH would prep dinner- when I got home it was really special and if DS was happier when I was home then sadly its tough isn't it; he's not been scarred or any other hyperbole by it. Children who's parents are separated have Christmas with just one parent and then swap, not ideal but invariably it's fine. Of course I love being off, but it's not fair if only those with children have it off every year. As I said working with very sick children puts things into perspective, none of them want to spending it in hospital but its a privilege to try and spread some Christmas to them too.

Realistically your family situation should have no impact on how you are treated at work one way or the other. I work with someone who has volunteered to work Christmas, as she lives alone and says she is happy to come in to work, but the flip side of that is that she believes she should be prioritised for the more interesting roles, as she does not have a family to focus on at home which I find incredibly annoying.

Just say - sorry, I have to plans. Like a broken record.

What is the nature of the job?

I'm not entirely sure how having Christmas day off allows someone to fly home as presumably you still have to factor in Christmas Eve, Boxing day and BH's? How does it work with these other days? You must have a similar issue?

The lady who has had 3 Christmas days off needs to suck it up and work this year.

But a six year old will be living with their parents, will be with their parents throughout the whole festive period, and their parent won't work a 24 hour shift, so they can still have Christmas celebrations, just shifting timings to work around a parent's shift.

A single adult with parents who don't live locally may have to spend the entire festive period alone if they are unable to travel to see their family.

It's considerate to take colleagues needs into account rather than thinking of only your own.

Perhaps that’s why OP’s colleague and others who have entitled colleagues should take into account single childfree adults who live alone and need to travel to another part of the country /abroad so they won’t be alone for the whole of Christmas Day.

People have all sorts of reasons for needing or wanting Christmas Day off even if their family live local - spending it with ageing or sick parents for example.

So yeah do think about others and how we all have different needs, don’t just assume parents of small children get priority. That is not considerate.

Use of the word ‘magical’ really does seem to be an excellent indicator of entitledness. I’ve no doubt that these people are still claiming their needs trump everyone else’s when any belief in Santa is long gone.😆

If you work in a job that requires Christmas working, you should take your turn, fair and square.

I'm working through allocating Christmas leave right now for my team. Most have requested some days, so there will be a lot I have to decline. I'm not in any way considering who has kids or not. How would that be a factor in allocating leave?

Well to be fair to her, why shouldn't she want to be prioritose at work for something? Same way like parents want to be prioritised for other things.
Childfree, single person can make demands too.

Indeed. And why do people assume these hypothetical colleagues owe them any explanation?

They don't.

Out of interest what are your parameters for deciding who gets what?