Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

[paintityellow]

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year.
Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year.
AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

It’s interesting because if I asked whether or not an employer should be able to take into account the family circumstances of an person at interview, MN would quite rightly categorically say no.

And yet for many parents on here, the employer should have to do so after the person becomes an employee, enabling them to have infinite Xmases off, priority over summer leave, etc.

It’s total hypocrisy.

It’s not about being compassionate or not. It’s about being fair.

My dad worked plenty of Christmas days when I was a kid but we accepted it because it was the nature of his job. Never in a million years did we expect him to have some weird priority because he had young kids!

Compassion goes both ways too… just because you don’t have kids doesn’t mean you don’t deserve someone to be compassionate to you.

Exactly! If a childfree colleague chooses to visit family, or chooses to sit in pjs scoffing chocs and ice cream all day, they're every bit as entitled to do that as i am to spend with my child (who i chose to have). Their choices as equally as valid as mine.

People who don't have children still might want to celebrate Christmas with their friends and families.
Who would have thought people who don't have children have some value and people who care about and want to spend time with them, but you do you.

They won't be. Speaking from experience, this sort of person will be pulling the grandchildren card.

Have a wonderful time in beautiful Sweden. You deserve it.

This. This is how it should work.

It shouldn't be left open for debate between colleagues.

For a lot of people Christmas is about the birth of Christ. Being about the kids is just an over commercialised holiday. Surely it should be practising Christians who are prioritised for leave over their religious holiday period.

Can I ask what you do? I’m a waitress and people always have to work Xmas.

I never do, I want to spend it with my kids and honestly I just don’t care. I don’t think waitressing is an important enough excuse to miss Christmas, I’m not saving lives, I’m making an already insanely rich person richer by selling food at four times the norm while earning a minimal amount extra myself. It’s my opinion that all catering staff should refuse, it’s really not to much to ask that people eat at home one day of the year.

This is nothing to do with having kids and just to do with not thinking about other people. I never worked Christmas Day but always Christmas Eve where only a few people could have the day off. Always the same people, some had children some didn’t including the manager because she had elderly parents, and this might be their last. 5years in a row.

@Normalsizedsalad because no one should be prioritised due to their home situation. Surely that's the whole point. Several of us with DC will be working a 12 hour shift Christmas Day along with her. Why the hell should she get treated as more important the rest of the year because she doesn't have DC. It goes both ways. There are entitled people with and without DC. None of them deserve special treatment.

Be prepared for a short term influx of 'practising christians' 😂

My favourite example of entitlement is someone I worked with who said to the team she managed 'We have to make sure we have covered throughout the Christmas period in the office so need to split it fairly. I'm going to visit my family overseas for the whole period so can you all please let me know which bits you are available to cover.' 😂Team were not impressed. As others have said, I think it's fine to ask but not to pressure people. That said in cases where people genuinely can't cover it e.g. single parents without childcare then accommodations will need to be made. I also think people get a bit melodramatic about Christmas personally, just pretend e.g. the 24th or 27th is Christmas day and do it then instead, that's what I've done in the past and it's not a big deal. Santa (or the Christmas cake and cocktail fairy!) can always come late or early.

Well, in fact they often chose that work long before they had kids! It’s not that simple if you’ve spent your life in that sector and that’s where all your skills are. And certainly speaking from my own experience, you’ve often spent years yourself giving up your Xmases in the pre-child era.

My boss knows I simply cannot work Xmas day now because I can’t accommodate it, not because I don’t want to. But they want to keep my skills, so have accommodated, as they generally do for people’s needs in my company. I think probably in such cases bosses should deal with it rather than leaving it to the employees to battle it out as that isn’t fair on anyone.

@Crunchymum a few things. It's our busiest time of year, so it's minimal leave anyway. Most have been with us a few years so I look at who got/was declined last year. Who has kept days to cover it, exceptional circumstances (whatever that might be, one person wants to go home overseas having not been home and missed 2 close family funerals).

Some people expect childfree people to justify a lot of things irrationally to be honest. You must have soooo much free time surely you go travelling and make the most of it; you must have soooo much spare money omg so lucky what do you do with it all; wow must be amazing not to be sooooo tired hopefully you appreciate it. This is just an extension of those boring things 😴 well if you want it off then why it cant possibly be more important than my reason. Doing fuck all is fine, no one owes anyone else anything!

It's not fine to re-ask.

No means 'no'.

I will not take any job that involves working xmas day....I worked at Center Parcs when i was 25 and missed my terminally ill mums last xmas as CP made me work that day.

Ooops🤣🤣 I nearly posted!

Why?

I used to work Christmas and weekends before I had kids and did my bit for the people who had kids. Now I have kids it would be nice if the favour was returned.

If it is such an issue OP then maybe your job isn't right for you? I changed jobs to something more office based with no shift work as I didn't want to have to miss Christmases and weekends having had kids. Just wouldn't have worked otherwise. When you work shifts or unsocial hours then you always carry the risk of not getting things like Christmas or weekends off as its a rota.

Nope, not fair at all. Your family planning decisions aren't my issue. Someone else may be spending their last Christmas with their terminally ill Dad - that for me is as good a reason as 'I've got kids'.
Take turns or change jobs.

I absolutely agree with you it shouldn't.
But as we see from this thread, many want it that way.

No one is any more or any less entitled to have Christmas off no matter their situation.

Management should have a backbone and say "that's the rota, that's what you're working, end of"

Christmas is important to different people for different reasons, it's only fair that people take turns when they've chosen to work in a job which has a Christmas day shift.

Personally I feel the person who is travelling to another country to visit family should have "higher priority" than a parent, especially if they haven't been home for Christmas for a few years, that's got to be difficult.

I was just about to mention this as well. What a fucking cruel and ageist comment from @DragonFly98

You have no idea what people are going through especially ‘middle aged’ woman who don’t have children! I used to alternate years with another colleague and I was the only parent in the team that did so. Years later she told me how grateful she was I did even though I had a young child. She revealed her problems with infertility and carrying to term and that while she was struggling most of the time, being with her family for those few days made her feel better, it was joyful and special for her. That even though she didn’t have kids she was still part of a family.