Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

[paintityellow]

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year.
Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year.
AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

I think if it’s important for someone to get every Christmas off for any reason they need to choose an organisation or job that doesn’t require the working of Christmas.

it might be, but so what?

Parents don't have the exclusivity. Someone might be married to a teacher, or want to join a family holiday - booked in August because of the kids, someone might have their birthday they want to celebrate, or friends getting married.

There are many reasons why someone wants to book August annual leave, and having kids does not give priority.

’Taking it into account’ in this case means expecting the childless/childfree to accept being denied leave over Christmas every year because of their colleague’s childcare problems.

As a parent having to sort out childcare is surely a given when taking a job that requires you to work Christmas. It being difficult at times does not mean you’re automatically entitled to burden your colleagues.

What about compassion for the childless workers with no family nearby? Or the worker who has done three Christmas day shifts in a row? Don't people without children deserve compassion at Christmas?

YANBU. They know the deal when they take the job. My DSis has three kids and works in a job that demands she does Christmas Day every other year. Loads of ways around it. When DC were small they just moved Christmas Day forward by a day - DC knew no different. When they were teens they celebrated later at night together.

To an extent yes. But also, career choice doesn't neccessarily foresee all these things. I apologise if i misunderstood you. But imo, a year on, a year off in this instance would be reasonable.

And you are very judgmental. Who are you to make ‘the rules’?

"I have elderly parents who will otherwise be alone. What's your point?" Stare and then turn your back on them.

In my job we are not allowed to book any annual leave during December and first week of January and you have to work your normal shift pattern unless someone is willing to swap. That means for me working christmas eve this year and then next year working christmas eve christmas day boxing day and new years eve. I work nights so sleeping during the day so 2024 will be missing the whole lot

My Christmas isn’t all about kids, I don’t have any. But I do have very precious Christmases with elderly parents and in laws, all of whom will be dead before your children are grown.

If you want to be sure you can always be off at Christmas, get a job that means you can do that.

but that applies to anyone, with or without kids.

Your circumstances are difficult, you can ask your colleagues but it would be horribly unfair for management to give you priority, or for your colleagues to be guilt-tripped into cancelling their own plans.

agree it is not fair on those who need to travel to see family.

agree, kids do not trump christmas
and get a job that means you dont have to work christmas

@ForfarFourEastFifeFive

What a horrible thing to say. None of us know what is around the corner. Having elderly parents is no more of a priority than any other reason.

@GardenersGarden various reasons. Live with a teacher? Spend time with school age relatives? Just feel like it.

Someone who is married to a teacher maybe?

This probably isn’t the thread for me as on the handful of Christmases when I’ve been asked to work I have heaved a sigh of relief as I just find it such a good excuse to avoid too much festivity with the family. I love my family very much but am not a social animal and I don’t have to host if I’m working. I wish they’d come and ask me to swap. More seriously OP having children does not trump everything and everybody and leave needs to be fairly allocated without undue pressure on anyone.

If you really think a six year old who still believes in Santa having a magical day with their parents isn't more important than a middle aged woman spending time with their also adult parents you are very selfish.

I must tell my 37 year old colleague, hoping to spend a last Christmas with her 61 year old Father who has been given 3 to 6 months life expectancy, to get over herself.

I don't think anyone is more entitled to it than anyone else kids or not.

But I think it is fair that people can ask if anyone would swap - surely they can't force anyone to swap and adults are able to say "no" if it does not suit them.

Often some who prefer new year off for example are happy to swap.

@Everythinghasgonetoshit I'm sorry you have difficulty with childcare, but with respect , it's not my responsibility to work all the holidays so you don't have to. As you said you don't have enough annual leave to cover all the school holidays anyway. I was actually a single parent ti a SEN child and just adjusted my hours / jobs / couldn't work for a while til they were older.

What is horrible about facts?

I’m not saying my parents are more important, don’t you see? I’m saying they are no less important than your children.

So people with children and people like me should have equal priority for leave, along with everyone else.

When I did work shifts with a child I always volunteered long days boxing day and new years day, which seemed to work as a good trade off for my managers.

What a tone deaf comment. My family live overseas. I talk to them several times a week, I’m in multiple WhatsApp groups and we chat constantly but since I’m not a multi millionaire and I have a job, I get to see them once a year.

And yes, I go at Christmas - as far as I’m concerned Christmas is for families and I don’t want to spend it on my own.

This one is always contentious so I’m going to jump right in. I think people with young Santa aged kids should get Christmas off in preference to people with older children or without children. I know it won’t be popular but that is what happens a lot around where I am and I’m sure child free people hate it but culturally Christmas is less about Jesus and more about children here.

Growing up most Christmas days my dad was working as he was in the police.
We would go to my nanas or we had Christmas dinner another day.
Some years he maybe did a split shift so we saw him a couple of hours.
He never asked for swaps or favours just because he had children.

Having children doesn’t mean you should get a monopoly on Christmas holidays or summer. Its unfair on everyone else.

When you choose to have kids these are some of the things you should plan for / consider in your discussions surely? What will we do if……child is disabled, if there isn’t a nursery open, if family don’t want to help, if we separate, if one of us dies, if one of us becomes chronically ill, if, if, if. People don’t seem to really think about or consider / create contingency plans for this stuff. In this day and age, surely that’s just common sense? It’s your responsibility as a parent to figure this stuff out, not anyone else’s.