Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

[paintityellow]

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year.
Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year.
AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

@DragonFly98

Your post about adults wanting to spend time with their parents is quite ironic. I mean it's the same as parents of small kids wanting to spend time them, but from the other side of the relationship.

Not by denying leave to others and expecting them to happily pick up the slack.

I'm so sorry that this happened to you.

I’d say when it’s all adults you can do the whole family get together any day over the Christmas week without issues. In most families though even if you don’t have kids of your own you’ll have grandkids or nieces/nephews or whatever who are small and want to celebrate on a specific day

I'm not saying that they are more deserving on some moral or intellectual level. Just that practically there are no normal childcare options for Christmas Day.
Not a problem if you have a partner like I did or family but could be an issue for some.
Similar for carers who normally have daycare for adults. They would need the same consideration.

Why do so many people on this thread seem to think that children are the only important people here? The majority of life is already so child-centred, why must people push this onto others?

that's actually a really good come back towards the entitled parents 😂

As a non-entitled parent, I would fight it for my own case, but I'd agree regarding the others

Er no, please read the post properly. 😂

I said if you have an issue with not getting leave when you want to because you work shifts, then maybe that should be a reason you should look for another job. You have to take working unsocial hours otherwise chin if you have chosen a career with shift work. I managed to just fine when I did and happily worked christmas and bank holidays, for quite a large part of my early working life actually.

If you actually bothered to read my thread properly you would see that I changed to an office job where Christmasses off are guaranteed for this reason. Rather than expecting to get what I want each year and get pissed off with people travelling home/having young kids/elderly parents, I put myself in a position not to not have to worry about it.

You don’t get why in a season where people are bombarded with media and entertainment blasting images of happy families at Christmas and spending Christmas alone carries some stigma /pity, they wouldn’t want to be alone? You don’t get why people who enjoy celebrating Christmas and exchanging presents or being reunited with extended family who don’t get together regularly, wouldn’t want to see their family?

If we are using that logic why do parents need to see their children for the entire day on the 25th , can’t they see them on another day during that week? They work other days don’t they?

Why do religious people make a fuss about it? It’s not like 25th December was carefully and accurately calculated to be the exact day that Jesus was born. It was a marketing strategy to take advantage of existing pagan traditions.

Not sure I agree with life being child-centred. When I was child-free, I can't say I was really bothered by children and families.

Not by denying leave to others and expecting them to happily pick up the slack.

There isn't much happy about planning Xmas rotas but yes first looking at those that attending would be very difficult due to caring responsibilities either adult or child would and has been high on my list when trying to sort them out.

I think it makes a difference in how they have approached the ask:

A) group message to everyone not working, would anyone mind swapping as would be nice to spend with kids - if no one takes offer up they accept graceful and don't apply pressure

B) target individuals try to guilt trip and apply pressure

To me A is reasonable B is a CF

Hush with your nonsense.

This does my head in. You choose to have DC and it doesn't mean that people without DC don't need or value Christmas off.

I worked Christmas week when my DS was small because it wasn't fair for others not have the time.

One year I worked Christmas week and when I came back after a week off in January the other 2 women in my team had booked every single public holiday week off! Because it was first come first served apparently. What I learnt from this was to get my leave in very early. Some people are very selfish.

There needs to be a rota.

@Astonymission you've missed my point. Of course I understand why people want to spend time with their families and friends. It's the I haven't seen them all year argument I find amusing. Families are for more than Christmas - just like dogs

Why would you want to take your holiday in august? It’s more expensive and busier. July & September would be much nicer!

Christmas isn't just one day, I've known plenty of people (nurses etc) who have to work Christmas day, so there 'Christmas day ' is boxing day or 3 days later. They still make it about their kids and santa etc and spend that time together, just not on the 25th so yes OP they are BU

No they don't.

I am a Lp and actually has meant due to childcare ( child has additional needs ) I was a childminder for many years ..

I do think take everyone’s situation into account - we have partner of teacher , someone whose family is abroad. We had someone who parent was terminally ill .

I don’t think it is just young children - I am now in a job we get 5 days off for Christmas but have definitely worked Christmas pre children to help people with young families .

These are my work colleagues - would I put myself out more for some than others ? Absolutely ..

I definitely think Christmas is about the kids and the religion.

If you don’t have kids or aren’t religious then the day isn’t as special as you can celebrate it in the evening or even on a different day.

But YANBU because the rule of the workplace is that you take in turns, which is the most fair way to do it.

I am a single parent and will not work on Christmas Day and so I cannot get a job that involves working on Christmas Day.
It limits my career choices but that’s the sacrifice I choose to make.

These people took this job knowing that they had to work Christmas and it’s not fair to try and change the rules.

I have a friend who doesn’t mind working Christmas as she’s a nurse but has no family and enjoys being around other people on that day.
She will volunteer to work on Christmas and then anyone who doesn’t want to work gets their name pulled out of a hat.

Yanbu.
Young children are not the only important family or a more important family than anyone who doesn't have them.

When mine were little my husband worked long shifts - afternoon, then sleep in then morning (adult care services) so he'd either be gone Christmas eve afternoon and be back for lunch on Christmas day or same new year eve and day.

We worked round it. The good thing about small children is they're more flexible than adults and generally quite happy as long as they're getting toys and chocolate 😁

So in my circumstances, having a kids that has severe autism and no holiday club that would take him, what would you say? I have tried to find a holiday club, nothing out there, but I suppose that discrimination would be seen as my fault because I chose to have kids 🙄partner and I don't actually have enough holiday between us to cover holidays, bank holidays and teacher training so we are a bit fucked in August. I had to take time off this half term when I really didn't want too (too busy at work) for this reason and could have done without that really, but had no other choice.

I get it must be frustrating, but for some people there is a real need for time off at certain times and you might not know the full story.

@DragonFly98 yeah no, I disagree. If someone must have Xmas off because of their kids and feels so entitled to it they should look for a job that is closed over Xmas. Not expect other to give up their idea of time with family for them.

I have two kids aged 5 and 2 and I agree with you completely. We both work in primary care so thankfully don't have the Christmas day issue though. Holidays/work life balance etc is one of the reasons we both work in primary care rather than secondary care though. If people never want to work Xmas day they should work a job that doesn't require that.