Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

[paintityellow]

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year.
Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year.
AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

I drove a van to make a delivery on Christmas Day once when I was single.

YANBU!

Me and a former work colleague were the targets of this shit one christmas. We were told "but you don't have kids so you couldn't possibly understaaaand" and then the attempted guilt tripping started.
(It didn't work)

I personally would swap for someone with young kids, I wouldn't if they were teenagers. I know compassion is frowned upon on mumsnet though, so you do you op

Xmas is not just about young kids though, is it? Loads of people who live alone, wanting to spend time with family or friends. Why do they not matter? What about people trying to spend time with elderly relatives they know won't be around next Xmas? Do they not matter? Or just wanting a family Xmas with your partner and teens? Why does that not matter? Let's of people have to work. Pulling the 'I've got young kids' card just doesn't wash.

Children can’t take off annual leave from school to take a holiday in any time except the school holidays. You’ve also got childcare to sort in school holidays that quite often can’t be done and requires parents taking time off. Should kids get no breaks/ family time at all?? Filled with holiday clubs or school except weekends? Are kids allowed to go on holiday?

As in my earlier post, for Christmas I believe it should be luck of the draw. It means something to a lot of people. But to say parents should get any priority in the school holidays generally is ridiculous. It may be needed for childcare, and it’s the only chance they get to go on holiday. I imagine it’s usually first come first served, but if two people put in requests at the same time and only one could take it then, I think it would be fairer to go to the parent except in a few circumstances. (Close relatives funeral or wedding etc)

@CrabbiesGingerBeer anddddd it is your choice to live away from your family and only see them once a year.

I think it comes down to good/poor management. It has to be fair for everyone. We have some managers that allow people to book their entire leave a year in advance without checking with anyone else in the team. I see this as lazy management. We have other managers that actually manage their team and ensure fairness as much as possible. These tend to be the managers who are good at their job.

Sorry, I didn’t realise having children was involuntary these days. My mistake. I’d always thought people chose to have children.

Gosh it's been at least 36 hours since the childfree of Mumsnet have taken a bashing.

I absolutely love Christmas but apparently I should go to work or just celebrate in the evening because I don't have kids.

Perhaps childless/free workers should get paid more, then.

Can only imagine the outrage from parents about that sort of favouritism, though.

Exactly the same as @UndercoverCop .. I worked Christmas loads in my twenties to cover people who had young kids. It just felt like the compassionate thing to me, Christmas is primarily for young kids IMO. But now people in their twenties are horrified by the idea of doing that - partly because many of them appear to think they still ARE kids… the childishness some grown adults display about Christmas is quite odd in my view!

DH works a job with alternate Christmas Day/Boxing Day working. I work term time so I'm off anyway.

We have small children.

The years he works Christmas Day are actually great. He's around in the morning for presents, and back in the evening for family time, and then we can actually go somewhere interesting on Boxing Day. Kids play with their toys, do crafts, watch Christmas TV, eat sweets. They enjoy it! Plus he gets a decent bonus, which he doesn't on Boxing Day years.

But that's totally relegating a non parent for no good reason at all. The 'fairer to go ro the parent' bit. It's not fair. Someone else's choice to have kids is not their problem and they shouldn't be discriminated against for not having kids in the same way parents shouldn't be discriminated against for having kids. Both should be treated equally, unless they come to an amicable agreement between themselves.

In response to @fitzwilliamdarcy - but they are paid more if they work holidays, anyone who works Xmas gets double time in my industry and it’s the same at many work places!!

Surely it is the responsibility of parents to chose a job that suits their needs.
Obviously recently widowed is a separate issue.

Those saying 'Get a job where you don't have to work Xmas' may think that's the answer, but it isn't always. I worked in an office and the 'fights' were about parents wanting Christmas EVE off or extended leave over Christmas school break, so it's no guarantee there won't still be fights.

The only years Xmas Eve wasn't an issue was when Xmas was a Saturday because we would be closed on Friday, or Sunday or Monday because Xmas Eve fell on the weekend. But there were still 'fights' over parents wanting the week off and non-parents/parents of grown children wanting the same time off to travel or host their families.

@CrabbiesGingerBeer how is my post about favouring people with children 💁🏻‍♀️

^I think the issue arises mainly from the fact many see Christmas as a day with presents and that's it.
My Christmas are 3 days (the main part), it's about family, remembering loved ones, keeping traditions, enjoying time together while we can, making and eating food together, games, some pressies.
Yeah we all like baby jesus bringing us pressies, but that's not what Christmas is all about^

it was to me. I don’t have any family - single parent and only child of 2 only children so no cousins or aunts/uncles. It’s just me and the kids.
they’re older now but I wouldn’t have been able to work over the Christmas period as all childcare shuts down. I only had one job that required it and I had to quit as there was nothing workable.

its worth being mindful that not everyone has a big Christmas with everyone having fun sat round the table reminiscing. It’s actually upsetting being told that’s how it’s supposed to be when there’s nothing you can do to change the fact you can’t ever have that experience.

I would absolutely swap shifts with anyone with smaller children if it meant they wouldn’t have to struggle.

Not all - I don’t in mine, so I’ve missed 7 Christmases for no extra. It should be an absolute minimum requirement if we’re going to treat one type of employee as automatically lesser based on reproductive status.

Absolutely agree with you nobody should be forced to sit alone after work on Christmas day if it's their turn to be off it's a massive time for suicides and depression.
If it's so important to have every Christmas with their children they would inflict loneliness and misery on others they need to find jobs that don't require a Christmas day shift. I bet they use the argument in the summer too.

It’s a religious celebration.
Do They not count.
Years and years of not being able to go to church on Christmas Day because you don’t have kids whilst non Christians get to celebrate a Christian festival.

This….entire thread is on that subject?

I’m not going to engage with you further. You are clearly stirring for the sake of it.

Oh dear, another thread where the supposedly empathic and caring people (according to themselves) think that it is perfectly fine to behave in the most entitled and selfish way possible.

I'm seeing it in my dept at the moment. The other consultant is a Muslim so we have an arrangement that I do most Eids and he does most Christmases. However the ructions are starting in the nursing staff as someone who is childfree is being bullied into giving up her long awaited first Christmas off in 3 years because someone thinks that they are more important because they have reproduced.

We've already had the senior manager in our office in tears because of the vitriol and the rota hasn't even come out yet....

No one is more entitled than anyone else to time off at Christmas - unless you have already worked several christmases in a row.

That's okay if you don't have to travel to be with your family effectively meaning you never get a Christmas with them as it's always travel on Christmas day

Honestly, I think that it's pretty selfish that people won't prioritize someone else who has kids. Christmas is all about kids.
See I think it’s all about family full stop. Last year a 16 yo in the shop said to me ‘wait, hold on, we have to work until 6.30 CHRISTMAS EVE?! But, I’m a kid really, I’ve two little brothers and we have traditions!’ And I thought ‘I hope they let her go early’. I have 4 kids but my kids know Christmas Eve in a shop is just like any other day. Only difference obviously if you’re a single parent no childcare

I’m very lucky to be in a job where I don’t need to work Christmas. But if I did, there’s no way I’d use my young DD as an excuse to try and get out of it. I’ve been through infertility and know how the implication that you’re less important because you’re childless would feel on the other end.