Divorcing but close to his family. He is not happy

[jesterjoe]

My exes family and I are close. I bring my children on holiday to see them a few times per year. My ex doesn't really have a relationship with them anymore but put his foot down about me being invited to a family event so the event was subsequently cancelled by his family due to the upset.
If I do not bring them to see his family they will not see them as heir grandad doesn't drive long distance anymore .
I am due to visit soon and my ex has told me to ' keep the fuck away from them'
One my closest friends agrees as it's rubbing salt into the wound as we are on cusp of divorce and he is losing his mind because of the settlement . Another close friend disagrees strongly and says of course I should keep the contact going for the kids . I should definitely go .
Thoughts please ?

@jesterjoe
Don't tell his family anything that he has said. You do not want to make this about him. Don't make it about anything but the kids seeing their grandparents. If forced to, the grandparents would probably rather give a relationship with you than to lose their son even if that son is bringing unwanted chaos into their lives.

No matter how much his parents may like you, they love their son( even if at the moment they may be disappointed in him). If this remains solely about the kids, you can all graciously step back as necessary.

Encourage your kids to develop a better relationship with their father. Your hurt will be temporarily, but he is their father for life. They will come to understand that they have not lost a family, but that their family is just now reconfigured. He may not deserve this, but your children deserve every effort that you can make to help them navigate this change in the healthiest way.