Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Need some reassurance that I'm not crazy...

263 replies

ScaredMamaLondon · 21/10/2023 20:33

Hello,
I am a Jewish mum of two small children.
I think I'm posting on here to get a reassurance that there are some good people in this world. I am terrified to be openly Jewish in this country at the moment and I am terrified for my children's future here. This week I was told by a nanny agency 'it will be very difficult to get a nanny to work for a jewish family'. The security patrolling makes me feel nauseous; my neighbour's son attends a jewish school and was kicked on the bus for his obviously jewish school uniform. We aren't obviously Jewish 'looking' - we are not religious but yet I don't feel at all safe. The pro-Palestinian rally today threw up pictures of burning stars of davids (the antizionism isn't antisemitism thing is basically an excuse for saying what you like about jews and getting away with it). Red paint splattered over local jewish primary schools (again if it's not antisemitism, what do we have to do with it) and on top of all of this, the sinking, dismal feeling that in Israel, the only place as a Jew I would imagine feeling safe, 1300+ civilians were massacred in their beds/kidnapped/gang raped/worse.

I feel sick. I feel we are utterly hated here and unsafe there.

When I see videos of TFL tube drivers joining in with palestinian chants as if its a football anthem and flags of Jihad being waved in London I do wonder if I've missed something here. At the recent vigil for the Israeli victims people stood in silence. Singing. Crying. Praying for peace. And today I witness the complete opposite. I didn't see one mention of peace. I only saw hatred.

Half my family are NHS doctors and surgeons. Teachers. Proud of our Jewishness and proud of our Britishness. Why is it as a Jewish person in the UK i feel so utterly isolated and depressed? Many clients and non jewish friends have sent wonderful messages of support so perhaps it is just the vocal minority but it's a scary one nonetheless. AIBU in thinking that life is completely terrifying right now?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Aria999 · 22/10/2023 23:55

OP I agree with you. I am not Jewish but have been appalled at the attitude of so many in the face of such atrocities.

This thread makes me feel a bit better.

Stay safe out there 😢

fuckssaaaaake · 23/10/2023 00:16

If anyone asks me what I'm doing for Xmas , normally I say "not a lot as I'm Jewish but we will do xyz like we always do" now I'll just lie

Trulywonderful · 23/10/2023 00:21

Bettycrocker7 · 22/10/2023 16:19

Can i just ask all the posters whose " friends" are protesting/supporting the Free Palestine thing or have joined marches themselves, why did the beheading of babies and rapes of women not compel you or your friends to march ? You love a good ol march against bad governments don't you? But not the Palestinian government right? Asking for a "friend".

Edited

Or why they didn't add to their march tributes to the pogrom victims?

Or why they didn't add to their march signs asking for the hostages (30 of which are children) to be released?

If people are genuinely wanting peace and concerned about all innocent people those things would appeared on the march. Else people should have all been calling that out on Saturday.

Trulywonderful · 23/10/2023 00:53

Burnoutwhat · 22/10/2023 16:19

I really feel for Jewish people in the uk and all over. It won't solve anything to hurt and intimidated Jewish civilians here. I do unfortunately think that recent events have stirred up anti semitic hate. Which is unacceptable. I'm sorry you de scared. It's awful to think we could be getting to a pre ww2 place where people are this open in hatred.

But I think you are wrong to then assume everyone who is supporting hates Jewish people and to equate anti zionism with anti senitism.

While the actions of hamas are disgusting I don't think you can seriously compare their postage taking to the actions (genocide) of Israel over years.

The population growth rate for Israeli and Palestinians has been roughly the same for the last 50 years. In fact in recent years the Palestinian rate has been move.
If Israel has been commiting genocide all this time pigging bad at it!

Maybe learn the meaning of genocide and lot at the facts. Also stop repeating stuff you see people say on social media or whatever until you know if it is true.

Changednamesforthis22 · 23/10/2023 01:17

I'm really sorry for what you're going through.
For what it's worth I'm from a white christian background and my family/friends have expressed strong opinions about the politics of the conflict over the last week or so, but they always acknowledge that innocent people are suffering on both sides. I don't see how anyone couldn't know that deep down.

BannedfromChristmas · 23/10/2023 03:25

I hate what Hammas are doing to Jewish people but I also feel that it's not okay to starve and bomb Palestinian people from their homes. Despicable humans of any persuasion will use religion as an excuse to persecute others. I have to believe that as humans as much as we have the capacity for self destruction, we all have the capacity to thrive together. We should feel safe going about our daily lives whether we are Jewish, Muslim, Christian etc. Its rough OP and I'm sorry you feel unsafe.

MooFroo · 23/10/2023 04:01

Isthisexpected · 22/10/2023 06:38

I saw a quote that summed up my sentiments "we said never again just one lifetime ago, how short our memories are".

^ this is very powerful.

I'm sorry OP. I can't begin to imagine the pain and fear and sadness. I hope for an end to this awful time. I hope for tolerance and safety for all including you and your family.

I saw the same quote and thought it referred to the innocent Palestinians civilians being openly murdered and forced out of their homes and country?

horrific situation for all the innocents involved, but none more so than those being bombed and persecuted out of their homeland

Finlesswonder · 23/10/2023 04:29

YANBU . How did our tolerant country get to this place

Very high levels of immigration from traditionally antisemitic nations?

IrishLondoner · 23/10/2023 05:31

“horrific situation for all the innocents involved, but none more so than those being bombed and persecuted out of their homeland”

The problem is the “but” … it turns a sympathetic response into a competition about which innocent civilian has suffered more . Why is it so difficult for you to empathise with the fears of the OP without the “but”
Did you include the “but” when discussing atrocities else where? An atrocity is an atrocity. Your “but” seems an attempt to down play it .
Shameful.

IrishLondoner · 23/10/2023 05:34

MooFroo · 23/10/2023 04:01

I saw the same quote and thought it referred to the innocent Palestinians civilians being openly murdered and forced out of their homes and country?

horrific situation for all the innocents involved, but none more so than those being bombed and persecuted out of their homeland

Show quote history

IrishLondoner · Today 05:31

“horrific situation for all the innocents involved, but none more so than those being bombed and persecuted out of their homeland”

The problem is the “but” … it turns a sympathetic response into a competition about which innocent civilian has suffered more . Why is it so difficult for you to empathise with the fears of the OP without the “but”
Did you include the “but” when discussing atrocities else where? An atrocity is an atrocity. Your “but” seems an attempt to down play it .
Shameful.

Original poster
ScaredMamaLondon · 23/10/2023 07:22

@MooFroo Again when we talk about murders you could also be talking about Israelis being murdered in their beds last weekend. but you’re not. The rest has been a targeted retaliation. Hamas knew by committing such atrocities its own people would be collateral.
your “but” has provided me with all the justification I knew I would hear at some point on this thread.

OP posts:
Exasperateddonut · 23/10/2023 08:22

Sadly the gobshites tend to make the most noise.

I don’t do religion- firmly believe the world would be a better place without it. What I do stand for is peace, fairness and society. None of those things are in abundance right now.

I hope your family has a trouble free week. I couldn’t care less what you follow or where your roots lie- your children deserve an education free of hassle and you a life free of worry. I’m disgusted at how people are behaving at every level.

No matter which side you are on, the victims are someone’s child, mother, brother. The poor poor civilians being caught up in this is inexcusable. My heart goes out to everyone affected by the actions and choices of others.

honestlyseriously · 23/10/2023 12:26

I'm not Jewish. I have sympathy for the Palestinian people in Gaza. I am outraged at the behaviour of some parts of the pro-Palestine communities in this country and cannot believe it is being condoned. I am so sorry you are experiencing this.

Peaceful protest is one thing but to effectively openly bring extremism to the streets is quite another.

babetyouknow · 23/10/2023 12:32

I'm not anti-semitic, in the slightest and (it's a cliche but true) I have Jewish friends.
But I'm a long term vocal critic of what Israel has been doing to Palestinians and getting away with for many many years, and I'm sick of being told I'm anti-semitic because I'm critical of the atrocities committed by Israel.

IrishLondoner · 23/10/2023 12:58

babetyouknow · 23/10/2023 12:32

I'm not anti-semitic, in the slightest and (it's a cliche but true) I have Jewish friends.
But I'm a long term vocal critic of what Israel has been doing to Palestinians and getting away with for many many years, and I'm sick of being told I'm anti-semitic because I'm critical of the atrocities committed by Israel.

It’s the context . Absolutely fine to criticise Israeli actions but if you choose to criticise Israel after an atrocity like October8th it sounds as if you are an apologist for Hamas.

There is NO Justification for Hamas’ actions on October 8th . Hamas knew what they were doing. They don’t care about the Palestinians . They knew that kidnapping children would inflame the situation to unbearable proportions.
Hamas are to blame for the current suffering of the Palestinians.

RubyGemStone · 23/10/2023 13:01

@ScaredMamaLondon You need to lower your expectations of people. I hate to say this but as a Jew, I know, that you should know better. Theres a reason many of us were taught not to be openly Jewish. We know the time will come when it's a problem, the time always comes and the British are no different. You're in London like me so there is also a large muslim population to contend with that are contributing to this as it seems to be seen as an islamic issue.

Now is the time to spend amongst your own people, I've been asked at work at least 3 times in the past week very pointed questions are the conflict and my views on Israel. Not one person has had anything sympathetic to say about the Israeli victims, everything is about how awful it is in Gaza. I avoided central on Saturday but yesterday I met up with friends near Soho, again this comes up, again much hand wringing and squirming to not offend me but also the need to point out how horrific it is for Gaza, as if I of all people would be unaware?!

My muslim friends and I have been conveniently avoiding each other.

My neighbour has stopped speaking to me. He is muslim but we've known each other for years, our children have grown up together, would describe us as family friends and neither of us are particularly religious. As of last week he's started blanking me and my DH (who is not Jewish) and on Saturday a large Palestinian flag appeared at the window. DC go to a school with large muslim contingent and generally keep quiet about being Jewish, but feedback from them is not good. I've spent the past few days contemplating a move to Israel, which even under current circumstances seems like a better option.

StBrides · 23/10/2023 13:08

Yanbu and I'd like you to know that many of us who not Jews are appalled by the anti semitism. I stand with you - as I stand with all victims of this war.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 23/10/2023 13:11

IrishLondoner · 22/10/2023 00:13

YANBU . How did our tolerant country get to this place? It is terrifying. I’m so so sorry you feel like this. I also have family who are NHS doctors , teachers etc.Your values are my values . I wish I could do more to support your community. I’m not Jewish my heart is with you .

What tolerant country?

Attacks against all protected minorities went up after Brexit.

OP - you are not being unreasonable. And how anyone can claim that attacking a school isn't anti-semitic, I don't know.

IrishLondoner · 23/10/2023 13:14

I am so sorry. There are lots of us who are horrified by the anti semitism of which disguises itself as concern for Palestinians . I feel heartbroken for the dreadful plight of those in Gaza. But Hamas knew this would happen and wanted it to happen.They don’t care about Palestinians. Maybe start criticising Hamas ?

Bonjovispjs · 23/10/2023 13:17

So sorry op, it must be terrifying for you and others right now. I'm surprised at the nanny agency comment though, I'm a nanny and work for a Jewish family and would have no qualms about working for another Jewish family if i was job hunting right now, even though I'm not Jewish.

IrishLondoner · 23/10/2023 13:18

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 23/10/2023 13:11

What tolerant country?

Attacks against all protected minorities went up after Brexit.

OP - you are not being unreasonable. And how anyone can claim that attacking a school isn't anti-semitic, I don't know.

Show quote history

I say tolerant because my family has experience of sectarian violence from Northern Ireland. London used to feel tolerant to me…

PurpleChrayne · 23/10/2023 13:22

Now is the time to spend amongst your own people

This.

I'm embracing Shul life and my Jewish friends. My non-Jewish friends - some of whom I've known for decades - have been silent. No messages of support, no questions about how my friends and family in Israel are doing (shit, as it happens. One of our friends is a hostage in Gaza after being kidnapped from the music festival; almost everyone we know has a family member who has gone back into the army to serve.)

For me, gone are the days of religiously (ha) attending interfaith events and giving people the benefit of the doubt when they make Anti-Semitic remarks. Gone are the days when I'll apologise for being a religious Jew.

From now on its just me and my fellow Jews. And I'm not sorry about it.

babetyouknow · 23/10/2023 13:29

IrishLondoner · 23/10/2023 12:58

It’s the context . Absolutely fine to criticise Israeli actions but if you choose to criticise Israel after an atrocity like October8th it sounds as if you are an apologist for Hamas.

There is NO Justification for Hamas’ actions on October 8th . Hamas knew what they were doing. They don’t care about the Palestinians . They knew that kidnapping children would inflame the situation to unbearable proportions.
Hamas are to blame for the current suffering of the Palestinians.

Show quote history

It's just not that simple. It's idiotic to suggest it is. As if that happened, out of nowhere, and not caused by everything that went before. As if 16 years of Israels illegal blockade of Gaza and the atrocities they have commited against innocent children didn't lead right here.

I'm not an apologist for Hamas. I'm one of the people who are stating the truth: that Israel is committing war crimes. Talking about the hostages while glossing over the indsicriminate attacks on civilians and the systematic wiping out of entire families.

October 8th was horrific. But so was the many years leading up it, when Israeli soldiers repeatedly shot children in the back and got away with it every time.

You can't shut your eyes to the reality. You feel unsafe in the UK? How have Palestinian children felt their entire lives living in Gaza, knowing they could be killed at any time?

Fernticket · 23/10/2023 13:31

junbean · 22/10/2023 01:41

I'm not Jewish or even a part of any type of oppressed people group (besides being a woman) and that sounds utterly terrifying. It makes me very sick to read. I'm literally crying just reading your post. I'm so sorry you're going through this and I hope it ends very soon. There are a LOT of people who want peace. You aren't alone and you aren't hated by everyone. I wish there was something I could do, I would do it. I've always felt this way- ever since I first learned about antisemitism as a child. No one should be afraid to exist.

This. We need to be united against all the hatred going on at the moment in this country. OP my thoughts and prayers 🙏 are with you. XX

girlwhowearsglasses · 23/10/2023 13:31

Sorry for all of this OP.

I was concerned that a nanny agency felt they could say it would be ‘difficult to get a nanny for a Jewish family’ - surely they can’t be allowed to say things like that.. barefaced racism. I don’t know who oversees childcare agencies but racism must be well against any code of conduct.