Trackers on phones - weird or not?

[Judijudi]

Someone I know their entire family uses a location tracker on their phones for everyone in the immediate family, husband, son, son’s girlfriend, sister, nieces, nephews, parents. They all have it. I don’t know how often the others use it but frequently this person will say, oh I see sister has come home early from her holiday, or son’s girlfriend- oh she must’ve got out of bed to go to the hairdressers, you get the jist.
I find this really really weird and a total invasion of privacy. It actually gives me the creeps! I can see how it would be handy if someone unexpectedly goes out of touch and their is an actual reason to want to know where they are like they’ve gone hillwalking and not returned when expected or if it is someone vulnerable etc.
What do you all think?
YABU this is perfectly normal behaviour to track the movements of your entire family
or
YANBU it is TOTALLY weird and an invasion of privacy verging on stalking behaviour

I definitely think they way they're using it is very weird!
I personally have an app tracker with myself, my mum, and my sister because they live far away and it's handy to know when they're free so I can call them/how far away they are when they visit.
I also have a separate one with me and my partner because he works such odd and long hours and I worry when he's coming home after a 12-15 hour shift late at night!

Definitely would never use them to check up on their day to day activities though 😬

It’s not always to do with trust

If I come off my bike whilst out somewhere remote on my own, it’s reassuring to know that someone knows exactly where I am.

I like it because it takes away the need to tell someone where I am all the time. I hate doing that!

If you trust yourself and the person trusts you to respect their privacy then autonomy is not impacted at all.

It won't stop bad things happening but can be helpful if they do.

The more I read the thread the more I feel sad there are so many people who live with people (partners, parents or dc) they feel they can't trust not to abuse their right to privacy.

Do they also have to lock their bedroom doors when they leave the house, or lock any personal filing away, lock family shared computers/ipads every time they leave them to stop snooping? As it is really not any different.

The interesting thing is all the people I know using it (and from what I can see of people posting here). People aren't sitting checking it constantly. I haven't actually opened mine for ages. It pings to tell me my daughter has arrived and left school/home so on Friday with the floods it was reassuring to know she had got home safely. Same this morning when my husband went off on a long journey, it let me know he had arrived.
We still text each other to say just leaving, and arrived safely but in the instances when you forget, rush off and get distracted etc, it's reassuring to have a little ping to know they are safe. I also like that I don't have to text as I often forget when I reach my destination.

I see it more as peace of mind. When I hack out alone with my horse I text DH, to tell him I'm heading out and text when I'm back at the yard. But it's reassuring to know if I had a fall, he would be able to know quickly there was a problem and locate me. Likewise him on his bike.

It's not about surveillance, it's a back up. It doesn't replace simple manners for us, it's a back up.

The person in OP looks at it multiple times a day. I just find it so intrusive and as I said weird!
I can completely understand people using it for school age children or vulnerable adults. Or in potentially dangerous activities, remote locations etc.
but this persons group the youngest is 25! Not vulnerable. No reason other than keeping tabs on people going about their very normal lives

I also think checking it several times a day is intrusive but I also think that's the exception as opposed to the norm.

DH and I use Life 360. I don’t think it’s weird to want to know if your loved one has been rushed to hospital in an ambulance and is unable to call you.

"DH and I use Life 360. I don’t think it’s weird to want to know if your loved one has been rushed to hospital in an ambulance and is unable to call you."
How would tracking help here?

You'd see them at the hospital, unexpectedly, when they didn't turn up at home......?

Unless you happened to do one of your incredibly infrequent, once in a blue moon checks at exactly the right time, somebody would have called you by the !

But if they're late home it wouldn't be a random, once in a blue moon check. You'd be checking BECAUSE they're late home. You've commented a lot on this thread trying to "poke holes" in other people's reasoning, it works for them, they don't find it intrusive or pointless and it doesn't impact you so why do you care so much?

@CurlewKate

I’m totally baffled as to why you’re so argumentative with everyone else on this thread who shares tracking with their partner, considering you do it too.

I I’m def to get picked up by DH on bc a Friday night in a certain location. No chance was i waiting in the rain when I could browse the shops and keep an eye on where he was. The location to get me was a pull up and I’d jump in. There was no parking etc.

My friends son is vulnerable and has autism, he often goes wandering on his way home from school and doesn’t answer his phone so she can track his location to make sure he’s ok.

i can turn off my location if I feel the need but I have nothing to hide.

@McIntire I think tracking another consenting adult is fine-so long as it's really consenting and you don't think it has much practical benefit. It's the tracking of children I have a real issue with.

And Mumsnet would be very dull if nobody ever posted alternative views. I do actually feel very strongly about the tracking of children in almost all cases, so that's why I'm still here.

YANBU. Weird and creepy, as I found out years ago from my ex using our family location sharing thing to basically stalk me.

I personally have an app tracker with myself, my mum, and my sister because they live far away and it's handy to know when they're free so I can call them

How does knowing where they are indicate that they’re free for a call?

@CurlewKate

I’m curious to know why you are so against it for parents and their children?

Surely the hospital will ring their next of kin or they'd just ring you later and let you know? I collapsed in public in my early 20s (a couple of years ago) and I just text my dad when I regained consciousness and was in hospital. I didn't need someone right away as I was surrounded by medical staff. Absolutely no need for phone tracking. I'm so glad it wasn't a thing when I was at school. How embarrassing that parents know where their teens are at all times!

Why is it embarrassing that I know whether my teen is at a party in a house or in a field (so if the latter and it’s October I can call time and insist she moves somewhere indoors). If you are in the happy position of having little tucked up in bed primary kids or sensible biddable home body teens lucky you but those of us that are not in that place need to avail ourselves of all the tools at our disposal….

We have them on our phones and are quite happy and comfortable with them.

Each to their own.

Me, DP and DS have Life360 on our phones so we can "track" each others' whereabouts - more just in a pracical sense - I can see when DH is on the motorway near our junction and then I can start tea, or I can see if DS has gone off to school OK. If all those being "tracked" are consenting then I don't see the issue and YABU.

YANBU it is TOTALLY weird and an invasion of privacy

Well presumably they've all allowed it? If my DH's mum had asked about location tracking on my phone when we'd been dating (or now!) it would have been a hard no. But if the son's girlfriend has agreed... each to their own I guess.

I don’t like the normalisation of tracking. Both of my elder DDs (22) have ended relationships because the boyfriend were adamant it was “entirely normal” to track each other. They and their friends have always had snapmaps turned off after a very informative talk from a police officer at school.

One of them has narcolepsy so has, on occasions when she’s been out alone, asked me, her twin or a specific friend to keep an eye on find my iPhone for those specific occasions in case she has an issue. She’s recently ended a third relationship with someone insisting that they should be allowed to track her all the time.

I also have a personal issue with the increase of “well I need to know what time they’ll be in for dinner” type usage of it. It’s dulling basic manners. If you’re running late or leave the office late and you’re expecting someone else to be making your dinner then you drop them a message to let them know. It should not be on the one doing the cooking to check where everyone is imo.

If people will genuinely be fine if their teen/adult child switches it off then it’s fair enough if it works for you. But very often there’s an expectation or pressure and that’s not on

@Fairospop22 "I’m curious to know why you are so against it for parents and their children"
Happy to explain-although let it be known, all the people who've been bothered by my "obsession", that you asked!

I think children have a right to privacy.

I think children need to learn about taking responsibility-so they should agree to an acceptable level of contact and stick to it.

I think that it doesn't make children safer, and thinking it does can lull parents into a false sense of security.

I think tracking can be dangerous in that it normalises surveillance- not something people (particularly girls) need.

I think it's unhealthy for parents to know where their children are every second of the day.