Trackers on phones - weird or not?

[Judijudi]

Someone I know their entire family uses a location tracker on their phones for everyone in the immediate family, husband, son, son’s girlfriend, sister, nieces, nephews, parents. They all have it. I don’t know how often the others use it but frequently this person will say, oh I see sister has come home early from her holiday, or son’s girlfriend- oh she must’ve got out of bed to go to the hairdressers, you get the jist.
I find this really really weird and a total invasion of privacy. It actually gives me the creeps! I can see how it would be handy if someone unexpectedly goes out of touch and their is an actual reason to want to know where they are like they’ve gone hillwalking and not returned when expected or if it is someone vulnerable etc.
What do you all think?
YABU this is perfectly normal behaviour to track the movements of your entire family
or
YANBU it is TOTALLY weird and an invasion of privacy verging on stalking behaviour

On occasion yes, if one or both of us is going out or it’s getting late. I don’t want to be eating after 8pm

I don’t track it regularly but sometimes it’s useful.

As I’ve said upthread.
Rather than finding it intrusive, I find it liberating.

It’s only DH and I though, we don’t track DC

I use it to know when to put the kettle on. I don't look at it otherwise. I don't have anything to hide from my partner so I don't see a problem with it but I would turn it off if I didn't want him to know for some reason. To be honest I find having to call or text quite annoying, it's easier this way.
I wouldn't want my mum tracking me because she's nosy! I don't see a problem tracking children as long as they are ok with it. If you live the same house it's convenient. I remember the days of having to find 10p for the phone and hoping mum was in - I'm sure modern teens spend much less time hanging round in dubious locations waiting for lifts etc.

Depends - I have DH and DD on 'Find My Phone'. They have me on theirs.

I use it because DH is the absolute worst at ever picking up the phone. I can check if he's actually made his train without having to phone (crap signal most of the route), I can see if DD has made various after-school classes etc.

I think they're far beyond intrusive. And they give a false sense of safety. Knowing where someone's phone is doesn't tell you anything other than where their phone is. Anything could have happened or be happening to the person. You might put dinner on based on their location and then there's an enormous crash half a mile down the road and they're sat in queues of traffic for hours.

I think communication is really important, and dislike any means of avoiding it. I also have no desire to be tracked or to track anyone else's movements.

Was also v useful when DD left her phone in an airport shop abroad and we could track it down on mine.

It's suddenly making sense why there are so many threads from MNetters saying their DH's haven't come home from the pub, and their phone batteries are all 'dead'.

They've probably just switched them off to make tracking a lot more difficult?

@CurlewKate

thanks but my daughter is very responsible and respectful and doesn’t need any lessons in this. We are happy with our current routine. She can also tell how long it will be until I’m nearly home and can start preparing whatever evening meals we have planned. Because like I said before, she’s responsible and respectful

We have this, my entire family in the same group.
My mum lives alone and she feels comfort knowing if she was out and about and something happened that we can see where she is.
My brother works away a lot for work, he spends most of the day driving over all Wales and both he and his wife like the fact they can see when each other has arrived at the hotel or at home (she works shifts so leaves early or comes home very late).
I like the fact my partner can track where I am when I'm walking the dog in the dark in winter before he's got home. Makes me feel better knowing if anything happened there's a bit of a trail. I can also see where my partner is on the map when he's on his way home and it's my turn to get dinner sorted. Pointless little things but they come in handy.

Most importantly though nobody in my family particularly cares if someone else can see that one of us is at home/work/Tesco/the gym. I don't gain anything by knowing my partner's nipped to the petrol station or my brother's gone to the pub, 99% of it isn't useful information and we don't really care if someone else knows.

You can just turn off tracking

Me too. I find it odd that people share their lives on social media. I would never ever let anyone track me or ask to track my DH or kids.

Surprisingly enough, despite not tracking my children, they never had to wait more than 4 minutes for a cup of tea, or maybe 10 minutes for something to eat if they were in a rush!

We all have Life 360. If necessary we could all turn our locations off, but I don't think anyone really bothers. As a manager I have a location tracker on all staffs phones, just as they do for me. Why would I care about my family less than I care about staff I barely know? Tbh I think anyone who hasn't shared location with someone, who ever they choose is an idiot really.

So it simply comes down to preferences again.

ds knows I put my phone to DND when in bed, but if he (or anyone on my priority list) texts or calls at 2am, or whenever he made the decision to stay over, it pings and wakes me and he doesn't want to do that.

As an adult he can be spontaneous and change his mind if he is going home or not and I don't want to control that. In this scenario the location finder worked well for both of us. He knew I could look if I wanted to if I woke and saw he wasn't home and I knew he was being considerate so not to wake me in the early hours for something that wasn't an emergency.

Just bizarre.

I’m with you, I think that’s weird.
I understand what people are saying about consent - all these people in her extended family must have agreed to it. But do they know how often she uses it? She seems to be watching people’s locations constantly.

It’s one thing to have the ability to check up if you have reason to be concerned, but that isn’t what she’s doing, she’s constantly nosing to see what they’re doing.
Does her son’s girlfriend know that her boyfriend’s mum is telling a random person that she just got out of bed?!

My bf family do this. The whole family is on there plus all of us added additions. Truthfully there is a very good reason behind why we are all on there which I don't want to get in to. But there has been many times where it's actually come in handy when someone has 'gone missing' and no one can get a hold of them

You might put dinner on based on their location and then there's an enormous crash half a mile down the road and they're sat in queues of traffic for hours.

@TigerQueenie you do realise that in your argument against tracking, you’ve given an excellent example of when it would be useful?

It is not just family though. You have no idea who all has access to that information. You are trusting apps, companies, people who have only one agenda, making money.

Even with family. What if you are planning a surprise? There are so many innocent things you may not wish to disclose. If you are relying on asking, you are deciding to disclose on a case by case basis. You start with an assumption that it is OK to maintain autonomy. I believe that is healthy and the assumption that we should always know the whereabouts of others is a first step on a slippery slope toward controlling behaviours. Personal boundaries are important.

Normalisation of tracking is disastrous for those in abusive relationships and can tip otherwise healthy relationships into a bad place.

No. Because if someone was expecting me for dinner and I hit bad traffic I'd phone them to let them know. Not doing so would be rude as fuck. Someone also wouldn't know if I was stuck in traffic or had gone somewhere and just left my phone in the car (as I often do).

YANBU

I am appalled that this is happening - the arguments that everyone must know where each other is located destroys the idea that we are free sentient beings with a right to choose where we go - not to be monitored by others.

I can see the relevance for younger children who may neglect to keep in touch as they are too young for even a simple mobile phone - but ADULTS?

I have been admonished by family before now for not carrying my simple text phone or neglecting to charge it when I am out and about.
Yes I might be stuck in a traffic jam, or got lost - that has happened to me before mobile phones and it was really no big deal.

The only person I have on tracker is my son, he’s autistic and turns all his notifications off so it’s easier to check his whereabouts than wait for a reply.
some friends have had it on since a festival and are like that, oh your phone needs charging, where you off to at this time, everytime it connects to their car, safe to say I denied permission.

All the “appalled” ones have probably never parented an extremely sociable over confident stunningly beautiful looks 25 14 year old who can be slightly head in the clouds. Walk a mile in my shoes!

I’m not bothered where Dh or dd1 are but for these few years when she is old enough to be out and about but not quite old enough to be sensible it’s a useful tool.

Also hate to break it to you but the kids locate each other all the time on Snapchat..so for that generation the horse has bolted on normalising it

My husband shares his location with me as he is often driving and it helps to know when he's nearly home so I can warm his dinner up. I only ever check it at dinner time but could see how the feature could be used abusively to track someone.