Trackers on phones - weird or not?

[Judijudi]

Someone I know their entire family uses a location tracker on their phones for everyone in the immediate family, husband, son, son’s girlfriend, sister, nieces, nephews, parents. They all have it. I don’t know how often the others use it but frequently this person will say, oh I see sister has come home early from her holiday, or son’s girlfriend- oh she must’ve got out of bed to go to the hairdressers, you get the jist.
I find this really really weird and a total invasion of privacy. It actually gives me the creeps! I can see how it would be handy if someone unexpectedly goes out of touch and their is an actual reason to want to know where they are like they’ve gone hillwalking and not returned when expected or if it is someone vulnerable etc.
What do you all think?
YABU this is perfectly normal behaviour to track the movements of your entire family
or
YANBU it is TOTALLY weird and an invasion of privacy verging on stalking behaviour

We have it. It started off as both dh and I do long distance sports. It was used to know where each other was so we could cheer each other on in races. It was forgotten about but when I had an accident, he could quickly see where I was and come and get me.

Dc1 was on it as she started walking home from school (it's a couple of miles away) but has now taken herself off it
Dc2 she went on at age 13 as is a long distance runner and I felt it was a safety feature. She loves it and says she checks it all all the time to see where we all are. She's the one who uses it the most.
Dc3. Long school walk and only y7 so I like to know he's got to school safely (or back home) when I'm stuck in work everyday.
Dmil- she's amazing and helps with picking up children etc as I work long hours. She thinks it's a great idea as it's easy to head out to exactly where they are.

I don't use it often but as a replacement for calling and saying "where are you?".

I really don't think it's weird for us as it's not used to control each other. I trust my close family and due to our busy lives its a tool to keep us together.

I don't think they're weird as such. Your friend/acquaintance's use of it is though!
I have DH and the DC. For DH it was mainly so I didn't need to call him, I could see he was on his way home or stuck in traffic.I didn't want to call him at work, nor when he was driving. The DC are just starting to go out by themselves and catch buses to places. I can check they've got somewhere or potentially know where they are if they got the wrong bus. I usually check the first few times they've gone somewhere new then don't bother. Only other time I checked recently was when DS wasn't home on time from school.

Don't have anyone else and can't see any reason to. Maybe in the future MIL if she starts wandering!

I don't track my family. I find it weird. If I want to know where DD is/ask her to come home I ring/text her 🤷‍♀️.

It’s not all that weird, I know plenty of families who keep ‘find my’ on within their families. It’s all reciprocal and voluntary so I don’t see a big issue.

We have a tracker on our phones. DD and I ride horses, so it's useful for someone to be able to track us and know we are safe. I hack alone often so I will text DH on my way out, if there's a problem, he will be able to find me.

DD is just starting to have independence and be able to go shopping and things alone, it gives her and us confidence because we all know where everyone is.

It saves DM from having to text to let me know she's home safe, the app tellls me when she's arrived home.

There's so many reasons and times it's useful. But I don't think it's intrusive unless you make it that way. I'm not sat staring at the app all day checking out where they all are. But can check it if anything seems unusual.

Extended family like that is weird imo

DH and I have it as we both run/cycle alone so can see where the other is. Also, I’m prone to just taking myself off places (I need my space) and don’t really like specifically telling anyone but like the security that I could be located if necessary.

I wouldn’t want to track DCs

@CurlewKate wife works long hours so we need to eat as soon as she gets home (by which time she’s tired and hungry). Try as I might she still doesn’t text me when she’s setting off as she always forgets. Again, she doesn’t have to share her whereabouts with me and it works the other way round if I’m late home from work.

I did use one for DS when he was younger but now I don't (he's 15). If he ever wanted to use one then I would but I'd NEVER do it with a partner. I was in a controlling relationship for years where I had to justify my whereabouts all the time and now I will never ever consent to a partner knowing where I am at all times. It makes me uncomfortable.

Not everyone has set working hours.
Mne vary, as do DHs, or he may be travelling a long distance

I can see why people use them but it creates a false sense of security. People aren't always with their phones. And if, worse case, they'd be taken the criminal would most likely dispose of the phone pretty rapidly.

I also wonder if it hinders basic communication and manners. People just stop messaging or calling to say they're running late etc.

@McIntire "Not everyone has set working hours.
Mne vary, as do DHs, or he may be travelling a long distance"

So, once again, why not a quick text "Hi-I'll be home at 8.30"
But hey, if adults choose to do this, and are really clear that it's not controlling, then fill your boots. DP and I track each other for fun. But kids? Nope. Well, I suppose there MIGHT be medical reasons. But otherwise, nope.

Also I know devious teens get " burner phones". Absolutely not something I want to encourage.

Because traffic varies and he may not necessarily be early or late etc or be aware I even need to know.

If I do need to know, I can just check and see so I know when to chuck the dinner in or whatever. Sometimes I’m out myself, so it gives me an idea when to head home.

We have Life360, my teens turn it off if they don’t want me to know where they are but I don’t sit watching it! It’s handy in that we can tell if phones have been lost or left at home, roughly where the kids are if we are going out and they aren’t home yet (they are twins and sometimes mess about not letting each other in the house 🙄). If they are out with friends I don’t call or text as I feel that’s an interruption but, as a pp said, knowing they are on their way home if it’s dark or pouring with rain is comforting without me smothering them. My husband didn’t want to be on it originally but, after watching how much fun the teens were having by tracking me to Sainsbury’s and ringing to ask for things 🙄, he soon joined in! He mainly uses it to gauge when to leave the sports club bar if I’m picking him up so I don’t have to hang around or text him to hurry up 😂. I’m sure it has more serious uses but thankfully we haven’t needed them yet.

We all share our location in FindMy - have done for years. It has always been voluntary and when we recently switched to another plan I offered my kids (17 and 15) the opportunity to stop sharing, but they both sent me a Share Location invitation. I don’t use it that much but I’ll use it for things like checking where my DD’s train home is, so I can pick her up from the station. They seem to check on me more! We’re a pretty chatty family anyway and don’t tend to keep secrets so I can’t imagine they would feel the need to hide their location, but I would fully respect their right to privacy if they chose to do so.

Yep totally weird, my DH Family have this. I accepted the invitation initially without knowing what it was, it soon got deleted when I found out!

Although tbh @CurlewKate

We use it mostly for security with long distance sport or if I’m off on one of my nomadic wanderings 😂

I’ve never heard of Life360.
That sounds like what the OPs family have.

I don’t want to track my kids but tbh, would probably be happier knowing where DS is. He’s in long term travel and keeps us updated but does travel alone, hitches lifts etc

We haven't found it hinders those communications. DD still texts to tell me she's got on the school bus, and when she's just arriving at school.
If any of us are running late we text if we can, but obviously if we are driving we can't so it's handy to be able to see.
The keeping in touch is still basic good manners, and we teach it to DD as she needs to know to do it to other people who aren't in our family circle.

There have been a couple of cases where it would have been very useful and preserved life

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-64859195

the car was hidden from sight as it’d come of the road into deep shrubbery

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/young-dad-lay-dead-car-8772895. Another case, the wife knew he was missing but didn’t know where he was

My husband's family are like this. So odd.

@CurlewKate tracking very useful when my daughter needs collecting from netball but the game gets moved and she forgot to tell me. I knew where to pick her up!

We all have it (family of 4) and we find it useful but we aren't glued to it!

Is strange actually as his thread has made me think about it. DH and I sharing location actually gives me more space and freedom as I don’t feel the need to tell him what I’m up to or where I am. If he really wants to know he can look!

I use life 360 for my 14yo. She plays sport and is often at various locations and we share lifts, I like knowing she's arrived or on her way back so I can start dinner.
She's terrible with her phone and it does make it easy if I'm picking her up from somewhere I'm not familiar, as you just click the dot and it navigates you to them.
I'm not constantly glued to it tracking her. It pings when she leaves school so I can set off to get her. More of a convenience thing. But can be good to know if she's been in a car, how fast they drive! It also pings if she has a low battery. I think it is a good app, she can also see if I'm on my way etc. Not sure I'd want other people tracking me though, that would be weird.

We use apple’s location sharing within our family, including two adult DDs. It’s massively useful for seeing when people are going to arrive, for planning getting food ready for the right time. I know people can tell you when they’re on their way, but if they forget or the traffic/train has problems, that doesn’t work. I check it sometimes if someone is on a long journey, to see if they’ve arrived safely. And with one DD currently abroad, it’s nice to be able to see her phone on a map sometimes, makes me feel a connection without having to bother her or if there’s no way of contacting her at that moment because of the time difference.

The key thing here is consent, surely. If everyone knows and has agreed and there is no element of control or coercion , then there’s no problem. Generally speaking, if a group of people agree to do something that isn’t dangerous or illegal and has no downside for themselves or other people, then really I can’t see it’s anyone else’s business. Whether I’d fancy it myself is irrelevant. Other families do all sorts of such things that ours would find dull or odd, and why shouldn’t they?! It’s very judgmental to be saying people shouldn’t do harmless things just because one doesn’t want to do them oneself. I know it can be used for abusive control, but all sorts of other things, such as knives or alcohol, can be used harmlessly or in a problematic way. Doesn’t make them inherently bad for everyone all the time.