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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Using 'Daddy' in a sex context

226 replies

JellyPopz · 20/10/2023 21:55

It's always made me uncomfortable, Daddy is what my kids call their father and not what I would ever call a lover.

Starting the 'This Morning Show' and ep 2 the PA comes in and tries to seduce her senior that she is in a relationship with using a baby voice and calling him Daddy.

I'm hoping the whole 'Yes Daddy', 'Give it to me Daddy' nods to something else and isn't fuelling a very sick fantasy?!

Sidenote: pleased to say I have never had a man who requested this.

Can someone enlighten me? It's not like this show was filmed many years ago, it's base story is around Me Too!

OP posts:
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7
Rewis · 21/10/2023 11:26

Wasn't sorry? Mommy. Sorry? A thing like a year ago? Which kinda had a sexual connotation.

This is off topic but I don't understand the whole mother thing. Like referring to Taylor Swift or Beyonce as mother.

NotBadConsidering · 21/10/2023 11:33

As a woman I enjoy sometimes watching pork

Spit roast?

(can’t believe this thread is 8 pages in and no one thought of that one)

ChevyCamaro · 21/10/2023 11:35

I'm the most pearl clutching, rad fem, anti-porn/surrogacy/prostitution, 50 Shades book burning, Mary Whitehouse tribute act ever. I even thought about complaining to the BBC last week when they played Sex Bomb at 7pm (I don't need to hear "infra red semen pumping" on Strictly)

😂I love this 😍

gannett · 21/10/2023 11:38

MN is full of overthinkers who can't comprehend any deviation from their norm. If there's a behaviour - especially sexual - that they don't "get" or that isn't a turn-on to them, then it can't just be someone else's taste, it has to be deviant, sick, a manifestation of the grossest misogyny.

Calling my partner "daddy" has never been for me, but then neither have flowers or jewellery or a manly tall partner with manly high earnings who I need to protect and provide for me - the latter all seem to be fairly common expectations on MN.

Crack on with whatever turns you on and leave other consenting adults to do the same without pathologising the slang they use.

And talking of slang, you really must accept that just because you don't understand youth slang, that doesn't make it strange or invalid or a reflection of social ills. It's just slang.

And also talking of slang, it surely can't escape people's notice that the slang that really bothers MNers tends to originate from non-white and/or non-affluent communities. Maybe what really bothers you is that it's escaped rap and reggaeton songs and made its way to your nice white middle-class circles.

BratsaretheWurst · 21/10/2023 11:44

pumpkinspiceisnotnice · 21/10/2023 01:40

I saw this video yesterday!

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJw2Dhhb/

Millennials sexualised the word daddy because boomers sexualised the word baby? They did??

BrendaMcPherson · 21/10/2023 11:44

LuluBlakey1 · 20/10/2023 22:13

You enjoy watching 'pork'. As a vegetarian, I think that's disgusting.

Show quote history

🤣🤣🤣

CurlewKate · 21/10/2023 12:03

@gannett "If there's a behaviour - especially sexual - that they don't "get" or that isn't a turn-on to them, then it can't just be someone else's taste, it has to be deviant, sick, a manifestation of the grossest misogyny."
By no means all. But some certainly are.

LadyTrunchbull · 21/10/2023 12:09

HelpMeHelpTheKids · 20/10/2023 22:22

I've seen it on the BDSM scene. It's a power thing - like calling someone sir or master. While it's not my cup of tea, it's most definitively not to do with incest in this context.

Yeah, I think it's this. Like the phrase "who's your daddy". It's a power thing and some people get off on it. No point overanalysing. It gets a bit uncomfortable for me when we're at the stage of trying to police women's bedroom activities.

nutsnutspistachionuts · 21/10/2023 12:20

"Infrared to see me move through the night" in case anyone was wondering.

dressedforcomfort · 21/10/2023 12:35

Absolutely gives me the ick. DH hates it too.

OneTC · 21/10/2023 12:47

To suggest that there isn't an actual father element to it is fucking bonkers especially when you consider the general aesthetic that goes with it.

I don't really care about what other adults do but thinking about why I don't like something isn't over analysing

MrsSkylerWhite · 21/10/2023 12:49

Nothing new. Original House of Cards an example. Goes back much further than that. Yep, creepy. Anyone wanting it, best avoided like the plague.

hannahann · 21/10/2023 12:51

It's always made me uncomfortable, Daddy is what my kids call their father and not what I would ever call a lover.

Same. My children, including older teenager, use daddy for their father.

It's really grim that it's been sexualised.

FKATondelayo · 21/10/2023 15:09

nutsnutspistachionuts · 21/10/2023 12:20

"Infrared to see me move through the night" in case anyone was wondering.

NOOOOOO I am not wrong! I've always thought it was 'infra-red semen'. I've seen TJ (or 'Daddy' as I call him*) sing it live and he definitely said SEMEN PUMPING. It must be an example of fudging published lyrics to make them sound more respectable.

*JK

SleepingStandingUp · 21/10/2023 15:43

Rewis · 21/10/2023 11:26

Wasn't sorry? Mommy. Sorry? A thing like a year ago? Which kinda had a sexual connotation.

This is off topic but I don't understand the whole mother thing. Like referring to Taylor Swift or Beyonce as mother.

What the hell is Sorry Mommy Sorry??

InYourOwnHead · 21/10/2023 15:58

Thank goodness you've said you're a woman. If you hadn't, I'd have thought you were a pervy man wanting to hear women telling you about calling their partner daddy.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 21/10/2023 22:29

It gets a bit uncomfortable for me when we're at the stage of trying to police women's bedroom activities.

So many of these threads do seem to end up telling women that enjoying various sexual fantasies and desires makes them "part of the problem" rather than acknowledging that women can indeed have a wide range of sexual desires and needs...

LadyTrunchbull · 21/10/2023 22:52

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 21/10/2023 22:29

It gets a bit uncomfortable for me when we're at the stage of trying to police women's bedroom activities.

So many of these threads do seem to end up telling women that enjoying various sexual fantasies and desires makes them "part of the problem" rather than acknowledging that women can indeed have a wide range of sexual desires and needs...

I wonder if a lot of these people are a bit repressed and just need 'daddy' to put them over the knee for a good spanking. 😂😂😂

Mumsanetta · 22/10/2023 09:23

LadyTrunchbull · 21/10/2023 22:52

I wonder if a lot of these people are a bit repressed and just need 'daddy' to put them over the knee for a good spanking. 😂😂😂

Show quote history

Lol. Indeed.

CrasyoDrago · 22/10/2023 13:11

What the hell is Sorry Mommy Sorry??

It's like a meme reaction type of thing.

"Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? refers to a sound on TikTok in which a man says "Excuse me? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry." The sound became popularly used to express attraction to women a la Mommy GF, particularly among the lesbians on TikTok. The sound was popularly used among lesbians on the platform expressing their preferred type of woman"

There are many photos or videos of attractive women where people react with "Mommy? Sorry... Mommy?" referring to her as Mommy, sort of like the Velma "Who's your Mommy?" scene in that Scooby Doo film 😂. It's showing a humourous submission/desire to he dominated by said woman.

Lookingoutside · 22/10/2023 13:11

’I wonder if a lot of these people are a bit repressed and just need 'daddy' to put them over the knee for a good spanking.’😂😂😂

Absolutely, change their lives! 😂

What’s ‘fucking bonkers’ is the moronic insistence that poorly informed opinions are universal facts.

CrasyoDrago · 22/10/2023 13:19

power role play fantasy whereby ‘’daddy’’ gets to punish the ‘’child’’ in a sexual manner for being ‘’naughty’’ if that makes sense.

Even without "daddy", women calling themselves or being called "naughty girls" is extremely common - see Beyonce's song Naughty Girl, and the Biggie song Naughty Girl. The idea of sexual punishment by a dominant/sir/master/papi/daddy is nothing new. But also, men do call women Mummy/Mami/Mama/Mommy whatever, and it is used in lesbian relationships too.

YoureALizardHarry11 · 22/10/2023 14:24

CrasyoDrago · 22/10/2023 13:19

power role play fantasy whereby ‘’daddy’’ gets to punish the ‘’child’’ in a sexual manner for being ‘’naughty’’ if that makes sense.

Even without "daddy", women calling themselves or being called "naughty girls" is extremely common - see Beyonce's song Naughty Girl, and the Biggie song Naughty Girl. The idea of sexual punishment by a dominant/sir/master/papi/daddy is nothing new. But also, men do call women Mummy/Mami/Mama/Mommy whatever, and it is used in lesbian relationships too.

I’m aware that people call themselves naughty girls, but that was hardly the point. When used together with ‘’daddy’’ and a childlike voice, it’s perfectly understandable why that conjures up incestuous, abusive, paedophilic images in people’s minds. Especially when the a ‘’daddy’ is seen as the dominant, boss like figure, just as he would be in a father/daughter relationship. It does feel like a sick role play.

I can’t see why some aren’t seeing that side of the coin. Regardless of how it is meant, that terminology shouldn’t be connected with sex in my opinion.

RudsyFarmer · 22/10/2023 14:29

I can’t get worked up over it. There’s all sorts of fantasies during sex that are a turn on that have no place whatsoever outside of sex play. Rape fantasies are common place and none of those women that enjoy that dominance are hoping a stranger rapes them in real life.

Gidrich · 22/10/2023 15:22

YoureALizardHarry11 · 21/10/2023 02:19

I don’t use the term baby either, but it’s clear that a grown adult is not actually a baby so easier to differentiate and disconnect. Baby (albeit very cringeworthy) is used as a term of endearment outside the bedroom, too. Daddy isn’t used as a term of endearment in the same way Is it? It’s a childish term for someone in a parental role.

Parents are supposed to punish kids when they misbehave and are in an authority position.

Daddy used in this way as a dominance thing feels wrong to me as it’s like power play, ‘’oh daddy I’ve been naughty, punish me!’’ In a babyish voice 🤢

Edited
Show quote history

I don’t know about that- I’ve definitely seen several old sitcoms, programmes and films where a married couple refer to each other as ‘mummy’ and ‘daddy’ all the time (Bridget jones’ parents and Kimberly’s parents in Coronation st spring to mind), and scenes where you hear giggling and “oh daddy, oh mummy” from outside the door- so clearly it has been part of mainstream culture in the uk in some way.

I wouldn’t do it, but I think in the bdsm community it’s used to denote an authority figure, in the same way ‘sir’ does- it isn’t actually about pretending that person is your father… especially since it can be used towards women.