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Original poster

Is your long term partner/spouse the love of your live?

112 replies

Lockeddownagain · 20/10/2023 09:19

I was watching a film yesterday and during it it dawned on me that I don't think my husband and I are the loves of each other life's and that's why we have had such such difficult marriage.

Is you person the love of your life and if so is your relationship easy because of it?

OP posts:
LauraFlex · 20/10/2023 09:21

DH is the love of my life and our relationship is pretty easy.

we have had rough patches as nothing is perfect (mainly when TTC and it was a very rough year for both of us) but honestly we are both happy and our lives are great for it.

AllAboardTootToot · 20/10/2023 09:22

Can only echo this.

We are due our first baby together and know it will be a strain but we have a great marriage, have done for 15 years so excited about the journey ahead.

Can hand on heart say he is the love of my life.

bussteward · 20/10/2023 09:26

No. He’s the person I was with at “settle down and have children” age. I backed the wrong horse.

LisaD1 · 20/10/2023 09:26

My first husband was not, clearly, as that ended. We should never have married if we had been honest about the lack of depth of feelings on both sides.

my DH is without doubt the love of my life, almost 20 years together and still feel that way. Our marriage has been easy, we’ve had difficult times with parental deaths, raising kids etc but they’ve always been things we dealt with together.

NotMyStory · 20/10/2023 09:26

I think there are almost certainly multiple (thousands) of people in the world who could be "the love of your life".

I do think my late-DH was one of them. He used to say I was his soul mate and I'd tell him that was all a load of crap.

I don't think my current, long termish, partner is.
I'm happy with him (and he appears to be very happy with me), but I'm not sure if he is completely right for me and I sometimes feel guilty about continuing the relationship when I'm not sure I was to go the distance.

Cowlover89 · 20/10/2023 09:27

Yes

ElleDeeCB · 20/10/2023 09:27

Unquestionably

KimberleyClark · 20/10/2023 09:28

Yes.

Annoyingfly · 20/10/2023 09:29

You need to stop believing that romantic films reflect real life.

I do not believe in THE ONE, it's tosh. DH is a good, decent man and after 38 years he deserves a medal for handling all the crap that life, and to be brutally honest I, have thrown his way.

Oldsu · 20/10/2023 09:30

Yes DH is we have been married for 51 years, he had a heart scare a couple of weeks ago and I was so scared, I can't imagine life without him we bicker of course I am going deaf and he mumbles, he calls me a cloth eared old bat and I call him a silly old fool.

OllyBJolly · 20/10/2023 09:31

Yes. 17 years on and his smile makes my heart beat faster.

YeaGads · 20/10/2023 09:31

DH is the love of my life, we have been together about 27 years. We are like two parts of an odd puzzle. We were discussing school ties as on our walk yesterday kids with their ties all tied deliberately badly were rolling out of the local secondary school. He remarked how they didn’t do a double Windsor knot and that was what he had done and I said I had done the same. We discuss daft minutae like that but also have deep conversations about all sorts of stuff with economics, current affairs, money, moral choices and history being our favourites. Absolute nerds that found each other.

McIntire · 20/10/2023 09:32

I believe so yes.
We have a connection that is hard to explain and both felt it from the moment we met, although it was 2 years before we got together for various reasons.

BookishBabe · 20/10/2023 09:33

DH is the love of my life. But it hasn't been easy, he has severe depression, I have anxiety, eldest DS has autism.
We have fought all battles side by side as a team. Every night I go to bed i am grateful for us finding each other.

HeadAgainstWall0923 · 20/10/2023 09:33

I often think about this as the love I have for my DH is very different to previous types of loves I’ve had.

In total I’ve had three:

  1. The first love. Seventeen years old and my life was absolutely consumed by him - he made me giddy. We were absolutely besotted with each other…..we’d travel 3 hours just to spend 30 minutes with each other, we’d ring each other 2-3 times a day, we’d write to each other at least three times a week etc….just pages and pages of how much we loved each other. It was like nothing else mattered except each other. I’m really glad I got to experience that wonderful first teenage love.

  2. My first adult love. I was 22 and he was 24 and it felt like a grown-up kind of love. It felt like the first ‘real’ kind of love….the sort where you feel mature and that you’re part of something really important and meaningful.

  3. My now DH. The sort where I love him because he’s the most most kind and selfless person I have ever known. He puts me first in absolutely everything and he would do anything for me. We don’t argue, we don’t fall out and life is just so nice and easy together. He’s the most amazing dad our children could ever ask for and I am so, so incredibly lucky to have him. I can trust him, I can depend on him, I can rely on him, me and the children are always his priority and I just know we have something safe and secure…..it just feels so right, like we are meant to be together. Everything just feels so settled and perfect.

I don’t know if he’s the “love of my life” as the other two loves also meant an awful, awful lot to me but I know my DH is the one I’m supposed to always love.

rocknrollaa · 20/10/2023 09:33

I don't really think 'THE love of your life' is a thing.

But I am very happy with my DH and love him deeply, that's why I married him.

Tittyfilarious81 · 20/10/2023 09:34

Yes my DH is

Catza · 20/10/2023 09:37

What exactly is a definition of "the love of my life"?
I love my partner, he loves me. We have a normal relationship which is full of ups and downs. I would describe it as an easy relationship but I wonder if this is because I am a laid-back person and don't sweat the small stuff, don't go sulking for days if we have a squabble over who does the hoovering or similarly trivial things. Is the relationship perfect? No. But it is a normal functional relationship between two adults.
Since my life is not over, I have no idea if I am going to have other loves in my life, obviously. I think this view of relationships is utterly ridiculous and juvenile. Maybe look at the factual problems rather than absolve yourself and your partner of all responsibility for working on your relationship on the account of destiny.

dreamingbohemian · 20/10/2023 09:38

Yes

People here will always say that romance is not real or marriage is supposed to be hard work or whatever, but some of us do get lucky (in my case after 20 years of bad luck!)

SallyWD · 20/10/2023 09:38

In one sense yes he is. He's a good father and husband. He's also a good person - kind to his family and friends. Family is his priority. He works hard for us. I feel very lucky to have found him.
However, I really don't buy in to the whole fairytale romance idea of finding the "one", being soul mates and living happily ever after. Although we're happy and have a good relationship we can annoy each other and we bicker! We sometimes want different things out of life. He's much more adventurous than me and I worry I hold him back.
I don't know - I feel like even in the best relationships there will be issues and you'll piss each other off at times. I worry that these days people expect perfection.

Tarne · 20/10/2023 09:39

Yes, if you don't believe in the ONE how can your dream come true?!

I believed and had such ridiculously high standards but I would have preferred to be single than compromise.

My love of my life is beautiful, kind, thoughtful, intelligent, loyal, hardworking; he makes me laugh every day and he's a fantastic father.

I had my Mills and Boon moment and I am sure a bit of magic happens when you have that moment when you have found your perfect soulmate.

We have been married 30 years and counting..

Newname2308 · 20/10/2023 09:39

We’ve been together since we were teenagers, I’ve never since met a man who comes close to his character/loveliness/all round goodness. We are 2 halves of a person basically and I do think that growing into adulthood together has fused us as a couple forever. Some might not like that but we love it! I’m sure I’d have found someone else if we’d not met, but I’m so glad we did. I can’t imagine us not being together, and we make each-other happy. We don’t argue, haven’t been through the ups and downs some people describe as part of marriage.

Hoorahfordogs · 20/10/2023 09:41

Yes DP is the love of my life. I met him when my youngest was 5 and he was going through a divorce. We now, over 4 years later, have a blended family and I genuinely love him with my whole heart and love that we will grow old together. We both say we wish we had met years and years ago

My ex, DCs dad, was the biggest mistake of my life. And the only reason we were together was because I got pregnant by accident. Wouldn’t change having my kids but I really wish they hadn’t been with him. Equally DP says he shouldn’t have married his exW, and that he just got stuck on that trail to marriage and kids with her, even on their wedding day he knew it wasn’t the right thing to do

Thisistyresome · 20/10/2023 09:42

Annoyingfly · 20/10/2023 09:29

You need to stop believing that romantic films reflect real life.

I do not believe in THE ONE, it's tosh. DH is a good, decent man and after 38 years he deserves a medal for handling all the crap that life, and to be brutally honest I, have thrown his way.

Edited

This.

Luxembourgmama · 20/10/2023 09:43

100% yes