To worry I’m not doing this (motherhood) properly?

[StiffUpperNip]

I’m not entirely sure how to even articulate this.

I LOVE my DC. But, four months in, I’m finding parenthood both exhausting and quite dull. At all points in time, I seem to be entertaining, feeding or trying to get a baby to sleep. It’s all a bit relentless. My husband helps, but he’s at work all day.

Also, there’s so much activity! Sometimes, I’d like to have a leisurely shower and then sit and read a book. Or do some yoga. Or make myself a nice lunch. In silence. I really miss just pottering about quietly.

Everyone I speak to assures me I’ll miss this period. So, I assume I’m currently meant to be enjoying myself. But, I’m really not. I’m not having a good time. Is this hugely abnormal? Does anyone have any tips (that aren’t ‘get out and about’)?

Just writing this has made me feel guilty.

This was how I fondly imagined it would be. It literally never ever was that way for me. Baby would not gurgle contentedly on a mat while I did yoga or gardened or painted my toenails. She wanted to be held and engaged with allllll the time. She screamed if she wasn't. She had reflux, which definitely hugely affected things since there was no lying her down anywhere ever, but also it really wasn't in her temperament, I don't think. She is 4 now and quite high maintenance. But OP, there is nothing wrong with your baby or what you are doing! They're just all built differently and while I'm thrilled that some people found - or claim they found - that babies barely changed a thing, and mat leave was a lovely holiday, that was not my experience.

I have to say that the first year of my baby's life was a bit tedious, mainly relieved by the new friends I made and keeping myself busy with activities that benefited me more than her, eg a mum and baby yoga class, a choir where the babies just lay there etc. I've enjoyed each year of her life more than the last. As I say she's still a kind of high-maintenance kid at 4, but she's so much fun, is full of thoughts and ideas and questions, and is up for all kinds of adventure these days. For me things got much more interesting from about 9 months. I think if I'm lucky enough to have another it won't be for the drudgery of the early years (although toddlers are delightful) and I'd do my best to see the baby days as a period that seems long when you're living through it but really pretty doable in the scheme of things - a few months of your life before things switch up again. I think you can't really see that til you're out of it though.

You're doing fine. You don't have to love it all. Just keep loving your baby and treating yourself right too. There are years of rewards ahead x

Ha you sound like me 17 years ago unaffectionate screamy baby living in central London. I was at my wits end with no sleep.

She’s now a fab studious thoughtful fun 17 year old with a clutch of top gcses. Honestly keep a calm loving environment and follow her cues that’s all you need to do. You sound like a brilliant mum don’t beat yourself up. And drop the guilt!

This is
it... the time that you will feel that you just need those peaceful moments... you will find ways.
I have my hubby, which did help but he worked until covid... my go to for a shower and me time, was baby in the bouncer in the shower room... and netflix in nap times. It's hard, you got this and
it's so worth it xxx my DC insists on getting in the shower with me now he is 4 lol xxx. X

@HulaChick But we don't know you in real life. All we know of you is how you have conducted yourself on this thread. And multiple people have decided, from nothing but your own behaviour, that you cannot be a very nice person.

Please take some time to reflect on how your post was worded, how it made the poor OP feel, and the kind of person you want to be.