How much do your kids play out?

[TiredMamOfTwo]

Just wondering if I'm being unreasonable here.

Ds7 friends are always knocking for him to play out, in the summer I don't mind with the long light evenings but when it gets dark at 6 I'm not to keen on him playing out.
We have dinner at 5 so doesn't give him much time to play out!
His friends (also 7) complain that it's only early and they are allowed out till 8pm on a school night!
I always say he can play on the weekends, weekends are fine but they always want to play out on the weekdays.
Ds7 says I'm being mean also can't have them in as there's around four/five of them and ds7 has the box room. 🙈

Am I being unreasonable? He's also diabetic so I don't feel comfortable letting him go to his friends houses just yet as he's not able to look after himself!

But the thread wasn't about a 5 y/o? Why bring that in? A 5 y/o has just started school. A 7 y/o has a couple of years under their belt.

@Chickenkeev
Because multiple people have mentioned letting their 5 year old out to play. Regardless 7 is still too young in my opinion and clearly also in the professional opinion of most schools

Yes and I note another comment on this thread about the school's "professional opinion". They are educators not parents and I'd say its entirely up to me about how I teach my child to be more independent. I'd imagine they'd take no responsibility for other incidents outside school grounds /time (online bullying for example) but seem to think they can have rules on this.

I walked to school myself from around age 7 onwards....that included a busy road but it did have a lollipop. It was similar for most of my peers at the time too.... depends on the child in the end, I suppose. But it's a parental not school decision.

I never really understand what people mean by playing out. My kids (now teens) used to go to people's houses to play, or have friends over, or play in our garden, or we'd go our to the park/beach/downs etc as a family or with family friends. But never had this experience of kids (and teens) roaming around the streets unsupervised. Don't think I'd have felt safe with them doing that until age 9 or 10 and we live in a quiet street. Also none of their friends lived close enough to do that so it would always be me taking them to a friend's house until they were 10+ and old enough to make their own way by bike/scooter etc.

Also none of their friends lived close enough to do that so it would always be me taking them to a friend's house until they were 10+

Thats a major part of it. In our street there are (of my three younger kids) 4 kids of DS’s age, 5 around DD3’s age, and (although she doesn’t play out because of her health and disabilities) 4 of DD4’s age. It was the same when my elder three were younger - there was, and is, always a squad of kids playing out on the grass in the street. The play park is also visible from all the houses on one side of the road.

So where you live, and how many other children play out, play a huge part in children playing out imo.

My sons currently out playing football with a mix of ages on a green. It's a nice clear day, parents keep sticking their heads to check ect. Feel sad that many kids will miss out on the experience of playing freely. I understand where you live this isn't always possible. Before we moved here we lived on a terrace with no green spaces so it wouldn't have been possible or safe.

I cannot see the benefit of kids as young as 5 running round with no parental supervision, that is crazy to me and definitely not done where I live. Why would anyone let them play out in the dark? Bad things happen to adults after dark in parks etc. why would you risk that for your child? Mine are busy doing planned activities- dance classes with their friends etc where I leave them supervised with a teacher. Or we’re doing homework/cooking together/watching movies. The amount of children that trespass railways etc, they can’t assess risk. There are so many sex offenders in every town. They’ve got plenty of time to learn independence

@DinnaeFashYersel
I think many of MN live in a wee cloistered world, where their weans get ferried everywhere until uni.
I'm always mystified by the school says they mustn't walk home until Y6 malarkey, never heard of that here.
Where I am, kids are out roaming about from about 4:5, always in a wee group, playing in the street grass area, no tragedies have befallen them.

Same here where I live. My dc 1 rarely plays out due to his disabilities but there are several children of his age living nearby and happy to play out should he choose to. My dc 2 is out almost every day with friends - three live over the road, one lives a bit further down and another lives round the corner. There are others living near the school and adjoining park but they don't play there after dark as it is a bit further away. I think that's the benefit of kids playing out - they get to know each other and, by extension, so do their parents. It helps with neighbourhood connections.

I always take it to mean that they're outside, playing. They're either in each other's gardens or they're out on the street near home playing corsy-edge or scooting or riding a bike up and down the streets.

Because, at least in our case, they aren’t “running around without supervision” as such. They aren’t roaming the streets or in a park in the dark. They are literally playing on the green in the centre of the ring of 10 houses, easily visible by anyone who glances out of their window, and they don’t go out of sight of the houses. They build rollercoaster carts, and play football, and put on dance shows, and play tag. It’s even better when it snows. I view it very much as perceived independence; it gives them a chance to feel independent and iron out quarrels between themselves, but really, if anyone does get hurt or upset, there are adults on hand to run out and help. It works really well here and it’s been great to watch their relationships and confidence grow.

This i would consider, although we’re not lucky enough to live near a green. But some of the posts on here sound like they’re getting a lot more freedom. And I can think of at least 2 very sad situations in the news involving young children having accidents while out. In your situation I would maybe let my 7 year old, definitely not my 4 year old though. I do think it depends on where in the country you are. The youngest I would see children playing out here is year 6

Because, at least in our case, they aren’t “running around without supervision” as such. They aren’t roaming the streets or in a park in the dark. They are literally playing on the green in the centre of the ring of 10 houses, easily visible by anyone who glances out of their window, and they don’t go out of sight of the houses. They build rollercoaster carts, and play football, and put on dance shows, and play tag. It’s even better when it snows. I view it very much as perceived independence; it gives them a chance to feel independent and iron out quarrels between themselves, but really, if anyone does get hurt or upset, there are adults on hand to run out and help. It works really well here and it’s been great to watch their relationships and confidence grow.

^ that sounds lovely, your kids are very lucky

Similar to our street. The grass at the end of the cul de sac is big enough that in the summer when the summer Fayre it can take a big bouncy castle and quite a few tables and chairs so the kids make good use of it. Every house in the street can look out of a window and see it.

The play park is between some of the houses and the primary school so half of the houses can look out of a back or side window and see it.

I also like that the atmosphere is still one where any adult in tbt street will, if needed, tell the kids off if needed. It’s a proper community and the major reason we’ve never moved even though we could have a bit more space elsewhere.

Nearly every day now. The park is directly opposite our house though and I can see them from an upstairs window

7 years old feels very young to be letting any child play out even in day light. I grew up in the 90s and we were allowed to play in our cul de sac from around age 8 or 9 a bit before tea (around 5-6pm) but not in the dark. We could go a bit further a field, to the park round the corner at age 11 but definitely still had to be home before dark.
Perhaps he could invite one friend around at a time to play after school, once or twice a week as a compromise?

Mine are too little (5&3) for this to be an issue yet but we live in a small village and even then I only really see the top end of primary school kids and secondary school ‘playing out’. We go to the park with friends after school on the free weekday evening we have and sometimes have kids over for tea. I wouldn’t let my kids play out at 7, I don’t know a lot of parents that would.

Living in a village doesn’t make it any safer. Kids usually get taken off by someone who knows them, or those passing through the village. But don’t let the diabetes hold him back, teach him how to take care of himself. I don’t think YABU though.