How much do your kids play out?

[TiredMamOfTwo]

Just wondering if I'm being unreasonable here.

Ds7 friends are always knocking for him to play out, in the summer I don't mind with the long light evenings but when it gets dark at 6 I'm not to keen on him playing out.
We have dinner at 5 so doesn't give him much time to play out!
His friends (also 7) complain that it's only early and they are allowed out till 8pm on a school night!
I always say he can play on the weekends, weekends are fine but they always want to play out on the weekdays.
Ds7 says I'm being mean also can't have them in as there's around four/five of them and ds7 has the box room. 🙈

Am I being unreasonable? He's also diabetic so I don't feel comfortable letting him go to his friends houses just yet as he's not able to look after himself!

I meant to add to my post, his bedtime is 8:30 through the week so he is never in later than about 7:45.

What the fuck

I'm pretty relaxed and mine have played out from an early age but even my 11 year old I would not be allowing out in the dark at this time of year. I would allow him to call on friends close by and play indoors. Heck even my 16 year old I encourage to be indoors once it is properly dark instead of hanging about in the park and woods. Whether he listens is another matter?

Never. 6yr old doesn't have any friends nearby. All the other "kids" in my street are driving now!

She wld love to have some wee friends in the street. There's never any kids playing out around here. She loves going to my sisters house as it's just full of kids out playing!

Kids play out in our street as it’s a very safe cul-de-sac. Lots of kids so lots of parents keeping an eye. Also the kind of place where people can still say “Billy, quit that or I’ll tell your mum” and not end up with an irate parent at the door. None of them are out after dark though so DD3 is either in our house, or someone else’s house, if they’re out after 6.

Generally it’s dinner at 6 and then homework, bath and bed.

My 12 y old chooses not to but he has adhd and finds it stressful.

My 11 y old plays out most days after school. When it's dark and rainy, they play in instead, either here or at a friend's house. Coming in time is usually between 7 and 8 o'clock.

They have both been allowed to do so since about age 6 or so, but the time for coming in was earlier than it is now. We live on a bog standard council estate that, although in fairly rough area, doesn't feel unsafe.

My DD 11 has played out since she was 6.

She wasn't allowed out after dark till she was 10. Before that she could be out as much as she wanted as long (more or less) as it was light.

My elder DS was never interested.

We were always out at that age - it was incredibly common to see children playing out from pretty young in the 80s.
My daughter (7) has been playing out since about 5.
We’re very lucky that we don’t have a road directly outside our house & we’re in a very quiet cul-de-sac. But I agree with PP, it’s very sad that there are lots of children who aren’t doing this (obviously I understand that for some people their locations do make it completely unsafe)- surely it’s one of the first steps in children learning independence and really key exercise?

Could you compromise and have tea at say 6 and allow him to play out until then, and then after tea reading, bath, bed etc?

I think it really depends on where you live. No children play out here, it is a busy area on the edge of the city centre but I can see that if I was on a quiet cul-de-sac or had a park opposite I would let them. Mine have friends to play, or go to a friend's house but I would always walk them there (ages 5 and 8).

Mumsnet is a very strange place. I have read previous threads on Mumsnet where people are outraged about leaving your children in the locked car whilst you pay for petrol. Yet many on this thread think it's ok to let a 5 year old play out in the street unsupervised.
We live in the South West and I don't know anyone whose children play out in this way.
Our primary school doesn't allow children to to walk to school on their own until year 6 and we live very nearby.

Wow! Is this in the UK? I have never ever let my kids out at that age without me. That’s ludicrous! I can’t quite believe what I’m reading, that’s an accident waiting to happen - village or not.

Oh my gosh 😱 I can’t believe what I’m reading. I’m absolutely godsmacked!!!! You let your 5 year old go play out without you?? I honestly can’t tell if this post is made to be a joke..

Not without you?? Please tell me you don’t let your 5 year old play ‘out’ without you!?? Jeez some of you parents are just waiting for a disaster to happen!!!

Playing out isn't really a thing around here. We're in an affluent part of London and dc have play dates which are organised in advance, often supervised by nannies. But they're also busy with lots of organised activities so wouldn't be around after school for people to come knocking (and it's a prep school so people travel from a large area). My dcs generally play with each other and me and DH. We don't know the other dc on our street very well, and they're quite a bit older. We never see dc playing on our street, but maybe they do in their own gardens.

There's a social housing estate nearby which has enclosed gardens and I think playing out happens more in those areas.

@SistaPB
I grew in the 90s. I'm a late 80a baby. At 6/7/8 years old my mum would let me go out with the neighbours kids over the park, the field , local shop every day all summer long never wanted to when it got colder. We would never stay out past streets lights come on in the summer time and this is when majority of it the time she would let me go out. As a kid I'm so glad I
Had this opportunity to be let out to play alone. Im more street wise because of it.

As a society back then everything seemed more innocent. Yes there were always peedos & child murders happening but as we didn't have the internet as we do now. People couldnt access extreme material like they do now so easily
& there are definitely more child abductions and murders now, way more than back then hence why the internet is so influential not always but it is in some contexts and I believe people don't let their kids out alone as much anymore. As again with the internet we have more access to more news and more news of child abductions etc so we are more aware and less trusting as a society.

I'm sad as I now have an 8year old dd & no way on gods earth would I even let her ride her bike around the street with out me being present.
It just takes one second.

*I grew up in south wales & Live 2 mins away from my childhood home and there's no way it's safe now to let our children alone.

Nope. No playing out here and DS1 is Y6. Plenty of playing in the garden. No different to my own upbringing in the 1980s.

Some of DS1’s classmates did play out from about 7 and I’m afraid their behaviour has cemented my view that it wasn’t happening. One broke an arm falling out of a tree, one nearly got run over by a friend of mine (luckily she was doing 10mph when he dashed into the street from behind a car) and two had to be stopped from stabbing a third child with a stick (I know because I was the person who stopped them).

I would never allow my 7 year old out without adult supervision, I think it's very irresponsible. Playing out isn't a thing here, playdates after school for dinner are arranged between parents and the kids play in the garden or house.
I can't imagine not knowing where my dc 7 or younger are.

7 is too young for any child to be playing out unsupervised, cant believe people are letting 5 year olds play out, they are too young to make safe decisions. Cope in an emergency ect:once out of your sight you have no idea what they are doing.

All the kids play out where we are and in the summer it was nightly.

its often in the front garden of the houses and adults can see the kids from their living room

now it’s dark, it’s different and I don’t let them wander in the dark

I’m surprised at many of the messsages on this thread. Most of the kids are playing out unsupervised from 4/5 on a summers day.

Our sons plays out at least one day after school; he often does at the weekend as well, he comes home before dark, now that is getting earlier they have moved their play to a different park as it has flood lighting and everyone is picked up at about 5-5:30.

same here, I really can't identify with this at all. around here all arrangements are made through parents, not children roaming around knocking on doors. My ds has 2 play dates this week, both myself and the other parent picked up and dropped off, stopped in for a chat as well. We all know the houses our kids are playing in and a parent is always at home. These kids are 7/8 just little kids.