How much do your kids play out?

[TiredMamOfTwo]

Just wondering if I'm being unreasonable here.

Ds7 friends are always knocking for him to play out, in the summer I don't mind with the long light evenings but when it gets dark at 6 I'm not to keen on him playing out.
We have dinner at 5 so doesn't give him much time to play out!
His friends (also 7) complain that it's only early and they are allowed out till 8pm on a school night!
I always say he can play on the weekends, weekends are fine but they always want to play out on the weekdays.
Ds7 says I'm being mean also can't have them in as there's around four/five of them and ds7 has the box room. 🙈

Am I being unreasonable? He's also diabetic so I don't feel comfortable letting him go to his friends houses just yet as he's not able to look after himself!

We don't have to deal with diabetes though 😦

DC is 10, never plays out. Might if he had friends to play with nearby and we lived somewhere where there was a safe area to play in sight of our home.

my son is in year 6 and not 11 until august but I only let him play out until it starts to get dark, fine in the summer but he moans in the winter when I’m calling him in at half 5 😂 tough shit. His friends are the same, allowed out till half 8 no matter what the weather or time of year!

My kids played out every day at that age, unless the weather was particularly bad. Surely they have some playing time between school ending and bedtime? I would say that is something kids need! Surely having tea doesn't take the whole evening?

There are so many benefits to outdoor play, I don't feel like limiting it to the weekend is ideal.

Mine didn't play out on winter nights and in summer were age 10 and walking to school on their own..until 7 o'clock.
I always had an houseful of kids..they would play in the dining room( barbies/ crafts etc/ board games).
Seven is far too young to play out.

My DS10 has been playing out since he was around 7, like you, quiet village but big circular cul-de-sac so the children are all visible at all times out of the window. We still have the same issue that the other children are allowed out much later than him. Over summer he was allowed out until 8ish because it’s light but I don’t want him playing out in the dark, even if his friends are out. I have a lot of “it’s not fair, so and so gets to stay out etc” and I meet it with a simple “I’m not so and so’s mum, I’m your mum, and you’re not going out to play in the dark”. It is tough sometimes but ultimately we make these decisions to keep our children safe and that is what you have to keep reminding yourself.

Ds plays out 4.30-5.30pm. We eat at 5.30pm. It is getting darker earlier so this will soon change

YANBU OP, you have to do whats best for your son. But to answer your question, I have different experiences with each child. With my oldest boy, there was a group of 3/4 who played on the cul de sac all the time. When it got dark they would run in and get hi vis vests and go back out again and play til bed time. We didn't physically stand there to supervise, they were so noisy anyhow we always knew where they were. I always let him do this, but it was very close to our house and visible from windows.

His younger sister plays out until darkness then home. For this reason in Winter months we push homework or chores back til later to take advantage of the light. If its a nice day and she is having fun I often let her skip dinner, especially during the holidays. She can eat when she comes home. I think the advantages of playing out outweigh the need for routine, depending on the circumstances. My other boy rarely plays outside, and I wish that he did. He is obsessed with screens and becoming overweight so I need to address that obviously, but personally I think only good can come from playing outside.

This depends entirely on where you live and what it's like in the street etc. Our old house, they didn't get out much because there was a busy road. However we now live in a really quiet street with a swing park directly outside the front door and no road to cross so my 7 year old is out till around 7.30/8pm (weather permitting)but through the summer holidays ,she would be out there till about 9.30 with her friends playing. It's totally up to you as a parent to decide when you let them out till though.

Exactly this 👏 being out and active and socialising is so important for their health and wellbeing. Also, they sleep better at night when they've been out running around for hours 😂

Just thinking about this a little more, i think it's beneficial to play out without parents to foster independence. Not to say you can't be watching, but from a distance so they get the feeling of independence iyswim. Sometimes i think people can massively wrap young kids in cotton wool (not saying this is you) and then all of a sudden they're confronted with secondary school and they're not prepared for the practicalities of it. I think incrementally allowing your child more freedom is best. And the younger you start, the smaller the increments have to be so your child won't even notice. Bigger leaps will be a bigger deal. But again, you know your child best and you know what they're able for at this particular time.

Mine play out in the garden most days and out I'm the street when they want (7) because its a small cul de sac and staying inside isn't his thing. He doesn't only occasionally says yes to playing with some other children on the street, usually I go out when he wants his bike so we can go to the park. Always in by 7 though. Things to do. Usually 6 at this time of year.

I’ve noticed that lots of people never let their kids play out anymore, which is really sad (obviously impossible in very busy areas). We are in a cul de sac and my two played out at that age. I was always checking at windows (or sat outside with other parents), as were the other parents, and they were in and out of each other’s houses. I also knew all the parents really well. That said, not after dark. You could maybe have dinner a little later and let him play beforehand? It’ll soon be too dark in the early evenings anyway. It’s good for them to learn some independence within reason.

Mine’s only 4 but I’m a little confused by the concept of “playing out” at that age? I wouldn’t be allowing a pack of 7 year olds to be roaming the street unsupervised at all to be honest? I don’t remember doing it myself at that age and we lived in a small town. I have friends with children of 9/10 and they don’t play out, we live in quite a safe place but still, all sorts of situations could come up.

They don't at all. I think 8 and 5 are too young maturity wise and the 10 year old I spent all summer trying to convince him to go play out but he doesn't seem to want to go. I think he went out to play twice.

DC1 (11) hardly ever
DC2 (9) every available opportunity. Fortunate that where we live is a safe green right in-front our house and DC2 and friends that range from 8-11, are out there all year round as long as not raining. DC2 is actually out there now with a couple of friends kicking a ball about and will stay there until called in for dinner. It helps I can sit in our den and see them. It’s a small little community and parents all keep an eye. Very old school and I love it!

I do see if you live in a cul de sac that could work, but anyone else that lives on a normal street - literally where would they go?? I think it’s a bit young to be hanging round the local rec (where kids do all sorts, including myself at 13/15!)

Have to agree to disagree there. I think give them as much independence as they're practically able for. While watching them. And obviously checking in emotionally.

Mine is 7, has never been without an adult outdoors and I don’t intend on that changing for quite some time. Far too young

My 9 yo DS plays out on our quiet crescent with neighbours kids, although they’re all usually inside my house by the time it gets dark. Summer time they played ‘out’ on the street til about 10pm. 7yo DD would play out but doesn’t have any friends her age apart from one neighbour granddaughter so when she’s around they’ll play, again usually ended up in my house or garden!