How much do your kids play out?

[TiredMamOfTwo]

Just wondering if I'm being unreasonable here.

Ds7 friends are always knocking for him to play out, in the summer I don't mind with the long light evenings but when it gets dark at 6 I'm not to keen on him playing out.
We have dinner at 5 so doesn't give him much time to play out!
His friends (also 7) complain that it's only early and they are allowed out till 8pm on a school night!
I always say he can play on the weekends, weekends are fine but they always want to play out on the weekdays.
Ds7 says I'm being mean also can't have them in as there's around four/five of them and ds7 has the box room. 🙈

Am I being unreasonable? He's also diabetic so I don't feel comfortable letting him go to his friends houses just yet as he's not able to look after himself!

I think i said earlier, i have one, she's 12 now but she's been playing out since about 7/8. Where we live is a cul de sac, quiet estate, with a green in the middle. I could sit on the couch and look out at her on the green. And tbh i did, i sat on the couch and watched her. Not an option for everyone! Where we lived before, it wouldn't have been an option at all. But it was a totally different situation. Dd is comfortable now pottering about around the place, walks to school on her own etc. I do think independence is best fostered incrementally.

Well, no. She was playing out, but i was keeping an eye. OP hasn't said she was abandoning her child for the day. I think we're straying into a different argument here, the original q was about playing out. I answered the original q.

I don't get what you're saying here, sorry.

Yes, it did. When she was a small child. IDK why you have a bee in your bonnet with me. I'm giving my own (solicited) opinion, i haven't been rude, i haven't slagged anyone else off. I do think think that children should be allowed to develop indepence where possible, and i think it should be done in small steps. You can of course disagree but that's your business. OP can decide for themselves.

Never. Main road in London. No kids play out where I live.

My DS is 6 (yr2) and he goes to bed at 19:30. When he is 7 he will be allowed to stay up till 20:00. (this is school nights). He is not allowed to play out in the street at all (quite busy) and not allowed to play out at all on a school night but does play at friends houses on a weekend.

At his age never after dark and to friends houses until seven so they can come home and relax before bed at eight

My DD (5) has some close neighbourhood friends. She can play till 7.30 0n a school night, though they have to go in someone's house when nlit gets dark

DS10 isn't allowed out after dark yet so it's about 6pm currently

He only started playing out aged 9 in y5

My DD age 9 y4 doesn't play out

Never ever. Not even Out of my sight. Just takes 1 chance of them getting abducted.
It's not the 90s.

I have nothing to add except that I love that little kids still “play out”. I grew up in the UK and that was how life was. My kids grew up in the US and there was never really anything like this where little kids just organized themselves outside. Everything was at someone’s house, and I always had a house full of kids because I wanted the social aspect.

I hope it continues on because I think it’s great for them to sort out their own entertainment and resolve their own disputes. They will learn great independence from it.

I think it’s really sad that so many kids don’t play out now - I do get that it’s different depending on the area you live in, age etc. But when people write -“it’s not the 90’s” I do wonder what they think was so different then?!

I think it’s good for children to get a little independence- I let mine play out when they were 7 within a few hundred meters of the house on the green.

I agree with OP though that it’s not safe in the dark - not visible to cars or not easy to do a quick check from the window to make sure everything is okay. Mine only had 30 mins or so out in the winter and would then have to come in and we’d do more play dates.

even as a kid in the 80’s I wasn’t allowed out after dark. 8pm does seem late for a 7 year old on a school night too regardless of the season.

There is no way any of my kids at 7 would be playing out without adult supervision. I don't know anyone who would let them. My diabetic daughter has a good understanding of her care but I wouldn't let her be unsupervised until she could fully care for herself.

Don't let irresponsible parents make you feel pressured into doing something you are uncomfortable with

We had this with my Dd. I just stuck to my rules. She could play out until 5.30 on a week day, maybe 6 on a weekend. The neighbours let their kids run around until 8, my Dd started her bedtime routine at 7 by having a bath so she could then have stories before bed. She was usually in bed by 8. The kids accepted it after knocking a few times. My Dd just told them she couldn't play out after tea.

Children's diabetes nurse here 🙋🏼‍♀️.
I agree that 7 is too young to be playing after dark, but from a diabetes perspective even more so. As much as I want my patients to believe diabetes doesn't stop them from doing anything they want, in reality at times, it has to. Your son needs to be close by to help him if he needs treatment which he can't manage on his own (although where possible I would avoid using diabetes as the reason why he isn't being treated the same as his friends). If it helps, once he is a little older (11/12yrs) diabetes shouldn't be much of a barrier, as he will be able to manage 99% of scenarios himself and his friends can seek help for the other 1%.
Wishing you all the best.

Completely agree

My 6 year old plays out on our street. In summer it was until around 8. Now he tends to go out after school but not after dinner because it’s too dark. His screen time dramatically reduced over summer because playing out was so much more enticing. The amount they learn as a group of kids playing without adult interference is amazing. I’m here if he wants me and will go out if I think an adult is needed but they seem to sort out squabbles themselves and compromise when playing really well.

My eldest is just turned 10, when he was 7 I would let him stay out until tea time then he had to come in. That has gradually got later as he’s got a bit older and now he’s allowed to play out until it gets dark but from about 7 he has to stay in our garden. He doesn’t mind that as we have goalposts and he and his friends on the street just kick the ball about.

I would say though particularly in warmer weather he plays out every day, as soon as he gets in from school he’s changed and out. He has friends next door and another a few doors down so usually somebody is knocking on for somebody else. They play in the area behind our house which is pretty big and wild in some areas so good for exploring and playing!

I’d much rather he plays out than sits on the PlayStation all evening, playing out is always his first choice and I’m glad about that.