Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or should big kids not be in baby section of softplay

117 replies

TeeedleDum · 18/10/2023 23:27

I've just started going to softplays with my 8-month old baby over the past couple of weeks as he's crawling around, pulling to stand and it's nice to let him play somewhere safe.

There are three around us that I've tried a couple of times and all have an under two's section (with a sign saying this). Every time I've gone there have been bigger kids in there - I would guess ranging from 4-8yr olds. They dash around as kids do and it feels quite unsafe for a baby. I have been shielding baby but have been kicked/ knocked multiple times and had my pony tail pulled. On two occasions my baby has been playing with a block and bigger kids (at least 5yr old) have come up and pulled it off him. The first time this happened I said to the little girl 'shall we maybe let the baby keep one block' and she shouted no in my face.

There seems to be no effort from the parents to supervise their kids or keep them out the under 2's section. I don't really want to tell a child myself to leave as I wouldn't want to upset them but it's hard to know which kid is with which parent.

Is this normal behaviour for soft plays? AIBU to think bigger kids shouldn't be coming into the baby section or is this just an accepted norm and I'm being uptight and out the loop?

OP posts:
snoremcsnoreson · 18/10/2023 23:35

Whilst I understand your OP... my son is 2 and wears size 5 clothes, he's a big boy. He looks older than he is but his mind is definitely that of a 2 year old!
Should I stop him from accessing the younger area of soft-play?

Unless you have a paid member of staff checking birth certificates at the gate, these things will happen.

newhouse12345 · 18/10/2023 23:38

Iv experienced this quite a few times!

The last soft play I went to they had a very small 'under 2s' bit! My son was enjoying doing loops of the steps and slide (he's under 2)
A girl who must have been about 5 was collecting everything in the area, so the babies had nothing left. Then both her parents came and sat in the baby area with her!? I felt awkward for them, but they didn't care at all! Completely oblivious!

It's frustrating when there is a huge soft play more suitable for their age!

WhateverMate · 18/10/2023 23:40

Yes, reading posts on MN makes me think it's quite common.

If you want the kids moved, I guess you'd have to speak to the staff.

newhouse12345 · 18/10/2023 23:42

snoremcsnoreson · 18/10/2023 23:35

Whilst I understand your OP... my son is 2 and wears size 5 clothes, he's a big boy. He looks older than he is but his mind is definitely that of a 2 year old!
Should I stop him from accessing the younger area of soft-play?

Unless you have a paid member of staff checking birth certificates at the gate, these things will happen.

Obviously children are all different sizes, but under 2s are very different in terms of development.

I assume people don't often confuse your child for an actually 5 year old? Even if he is big.
There is a very obvious gap between under 2s and 5 year olds in coordination, speech etc.

NuffSaidSam · 18/10/2023 23:43

Can you go during the day on a weekday? That's the best way to avoid the bigger kids (not during school holidays though!).

I'd speak to a member of staff. At our local softplay they're pretty good at keeping the bigger kids out of the Abby zone.

snoremcsnoreson · 18/10/2023 23:45

Yes, people certainly do confuse my boy and think he is a 5+ year old. It is hard as people expect 'more' from him.
I get glares continuously at soft play! He's just a big boy.
Two sides of every coin.

PenguinRainbows · 18/10/2023 23:46

snoremcsnoreson · 18/10/2023 23:45

Yes, people certainly do confuse my boy and think he is a 5+ year old. It is hard as people expect 'more' from him.
I get glares continuously at soft play! He's just a big boy.
Two sides of every coin.

Irrelevant. If he’s 2, he shouldn’t be in the UNDER 2’s bit.

snoremcsnoreson · 18/10/2023 23:46

@newhouse12345 sorry the below reply was directed at you.

justasking111 · 18/10/2023 23:47

As a not particularly agile grandma I've climbed around to shield little ones. The bigger ones forget when they're running around to watch out I find

Fionaville · 18/10/2023 23:47

I mainly used to take my pre school aged kids to soft play during the school day, so it wasn't a problem.
But on the occasions this did happen (when I had a school kid and a toddler) I used to say to the bigger kids causing a problem "Why are you in the baby area? Are you a baby?" That usually sorted them out (No 5 year old want to be called a baby!) If not, a word with the staff sorts it out.

snoremcsnoreson · 18/10/2023 23:48

@PenguinRainbows Really? 2 year olds are not allowed in under 2's?
I don't think this is what the OP was getting at, but ok. For what it's worth my son turned 2 10 days ago.

caban · 18/10/2023 23:48

It's common. Just send them out.

PenguinRainbows · 18/10/2023 23:48

YANBU. You need to be firm but fair. Saying “shall we…” tells the other child what you’re asking is optional, and she responded in kind.

A simple “no, the blocks stay here” and removing any blocks taken from your baby is all that is needed.

PenguinRainbows · 18/10/2023 23:49

snoremcsnoreson · 18/10/2023 23:48

@PenguinRainbows Really? 2 year olds are not allowed in under 2's?
I don't think this is what the OP was getting at, but ok. For what it's worth my son turned 2 10 days ago.

Really. That’s why it’s called UNDER 2’s.

There has to be a cut off somewhere, whether he turned 2 ten minutes, ten days or ten months ago.

Especially when he is larger for his age.

NuffSaidSam · 18/10/2023 23:53

snoremcsnoreson · 18/10/2023 23:35

Whilst I understand your OP... my son is 2 and wears size 5 clothes, he's a big boy. He looks older than he is but his mind is definitely that of a 2 year old!
Should I stop him from accessing the younger area of soft-play?

Unless you have a paid member of staff checking birth certificates at the gate, these things will happen.

Softplay is divided based on size of equipment, not how mentally stimulating it is, so your son probably would prefer playing in the older area as presumably everything in the baby area is too small for him?

If he's the size of a five year old I'd let him play where the equipment is designed for children who are the height/weight of a five year old.

Or look for a softplay that has an under 5's area so it's a bit more suited to him.

Lavender14 · 18/10/2023 23:54

snoremcsnoreson · 18/10/2023 23:35

Whilst I understand your OP... my son is 2 and wears size 5 clothes, he's a big boy. He looks older than he is but his mind is definitely that of a 2 year old!
Should I stop him from accessing the younger area of soft-play?

Unless you have a paid member of staff checking birth certificates at the gate, these things will happen.

I think kids who are big for their age are still developmentally around the right age to be in the baby part though. It's not really a size issue it's more how older kids tend to play and a small baby getting caught in the middle of that. I'm sure that's hard though when parents aren't understanding of him just being big for his age.

I fully understand that parents take their kids to soft play to burn off energy and to have the chance for an actual cuppa but it's very obvious which parents are keeping an eye and which aren't. My ds is 10mths now and the last few times we've been in soft play he's been the smallest baby there so he's suddenly had lots of older little girls especially drawn to him, wanting to pet him and kiss and hug him. It's very sweet but he doesn't like it and eventually they end up wanting to show me their gymnastics (almost landing on my baby) or they are just playing the way they have been through the rest of the soft play without realising they need to be more gentle. I've also had older kids come up and scream loudly in my baby's face and I've had to tell kids off before for taking turns kicking a football AT my baby. I've had parents in the past come over and say come out now there is a baby in there which I think is fair enough. If its empty I see no reason for them not to go in. But once there are small babies in that section parents should be trying to keep their older kids out.

Lavender14 · 18/10/2023 23:55

Also if kids are in the baby section and they are being really boisterous/ causing an issue I ask how old they are first just to check.

snoremcsnoreson · 18/10/2023 23:56

@PenguinRainbows lol. Seeing as you feel so passionately about 2 year olds being in the UNDER 2 age area, I suggest you make it your mission. Police the shit out of soft play! Turn up everyday, every session! Make it your life-mission to ensure NO child at the age of two is in the UNDER two soft play area! ever!!

Damn those 2 year olds enjoying themselves! Especially when they are not strong enough for the older area... what shall we do with them? Carpark?! Someone needs to teach them a lesson! 😂

LameBorzoi · 19/10/2023 00:01

@Fionaville Very clever!

booksandbrooks · 19/10/2023 00:04

I would have read under 2s as being 2 and under.

Tbh bigger kids in the baby area at soft play is pretty much inevitable unless you go during school hours. It is annoying and not right, but it's standard. You either have to get comfortable telling them to move or mind out or be on your guard otherwise, or report and hope staff intervene.

PinkMoscatoLover · 19/10/2023 00:05

If someone came up to me and told me that my two year old shouldn’t be in the under 2 section, I’d laugh in their face😆

LameBorzoi · 19/10/2023 00:06

@NuffSaidSam Not necessarily true.I had a similar issue - a huge toddler who was a good climber. However, I still didn't want my very young child disappearing into the areas designed for older children - they aren't designed for the level of supervision that that age group needs, you can't see them, and they can get themselves into trouble.

NuffSaidSam · 19/10/2023 00:07

LameBorzoi · 19/10/2023 00:06

@NuffSaidSam Not necessarily true.I had a similar issue - a huge toddler who was a good climber. However, I still didn't want my very young child disappearing into the areas designed for older children - they aren't designed for the level of supervision that that age group needs, you can't see them, and they can get themselves into trouble.

Obviously you need to follow them in!

needtonamechangeforthis1 · 19/10/2023 00:19

There is a really simple solution. That's people should be parenting their children!!!
Children still need to be being properly supervised! If you have a big boisterous two year old you should be with them parenting them and stopping them hurting smaller children!

FirstFallopians · 19/10/2023 00:29

Mention it to the staff- our local
soft play is very good at making announcements over the tannoy reminding parents to supervise older children and make sure they aren’t in the baby area.

My pair are 4 & 6 now so well past that stage, but it pisses me right off when you can see a gang of clearly school age children monopolising the toys and equipment allocated to much smaller toddlers.