Or should big kids not be in baby section of softplay

[TeeedleDum]

I've just started going to softplays with my 8-month old baby over the past couple of weeks as he's crawling around, pulling to stand and it's nice to let him play somewhere safe.

There are three around us that I've tried a couple of times and all have an under two's section (with a sign saying this). Every time I've gone there have been bigger kids in there - I would guess ranging from 4-8yr olds. They dash around as kids do and it feels quite unsafe for a baby. I have been shielding baby but have been kicked/ knocked multiple times and had my pony tail pulled. On two occasions my baby has been playing with a block and bigger kids (at least 5yr old) have come up and pulled it off him. The first time this happened I said to the little girl 'shall we maybe let the baby keep one block' and she shouted no in my face.

There seems to be no effort from the parents to supervise their kids or keep them out the under 2's section. I don't really want to tell a child myself to leave as I wouldn't want to upset them but it's hard to know which kid is with which parent.

Is this normal behaviour for soft plays? AIBU to think bigger kids shouldn't be coming into the baby section or is this just an accepted norm and I'm being uptight and out the loop?

The staff at these places are often hopeless at enforcing anything. That’s been my experience anyway. It seems very normal for parents to be glued to their phones and not watching their kids at all.
Though TBH I’ve often found that it’s very small Gdcs wanting to use the big kids’ areas, which is a different source of angst.

Surely if you go during school hours it’s only pre schoolers?

Yes I've never understood this. Our son is nearly three and if he tries to go to the 'two and under' section of our local soft-play we just steer him away and tell him he's a big boy now and doesn't need to play with the baby toys anymore.

We have a similar issue at the moment in our son's football class. It's for 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 yet we regularly have a child there (accompanying his brother who is of the correct age) who is clearly five or more and not wearing the class kit whose dad just allows him to join in. He kicks the ball so hard and can run so much faster than the other kids so often completes the tasks before the others can even get to it (meaning the coaches have to reset everything). And on top of all that is the fact that he's getting a free class whilst the rest of us are paying 🙄

Sure, but most of these preschoolers are going to be older than 2 and so shouldn’t be in the under 2s area.

YANBU Op but if I may?

My 5 year old has SEN (severely so) and LOVES the ballpit at her favourite softplay place, unfortunately is restricted to under 3s only. Because she is out of school because the SEND system is whack in this country, we tend to go during the week and during term time.

She is always supervised. I know its wrong and we shouldn't be letting her, but she loves that ballpit and basically ignores all the other children.

I know it's so frustrating but I honestly think some mums go for the chat with their mates and quite happily leave their kids to roam to soft play themselves so I really sympathise but I think it's an area that's hard to balance

I like this. I'll try it next time I'm at soft play.

I don't mind well behaved older kids. Sometimes older kids used to play gently with DD in the baby area and that's always lovely. Just don't like the ones that make the place unsafe or unpleasant for the younger ones.

Agreed, 'Under 2' means anything up to, but not including 2.
To include 2 it would have to be '2 and under'.

Spot on, soft play = chatting, coffee drinking mums ignoring kids/letting kids 'run off steam', or at least it did when DS was little!

I was in the under-1s section of soft play once & some bigger kids were nearly trampling the babies. I said to them "if you're older than 1 you should be in the other section, not here". They left & them 2 mums came over and told me I'd completely ruined their day out 🙄

But he shouldn't be there regardless of anything else? He's 4, it doesn't matter that he wasn't bothering anyone

I've experienced this. There was a child who was i'd guess around 5-6 in the 2 and unders soft play area. I don't mind this, but what I did mind was his dad, on his phone, with his back turned. He didn't attempt to come in and play, or assist, or even watch once. The child very obviously had sen issues, and he was roughly handling the babies/young ones and the mums were all getting annoyed. I don't mind the bigger kids coming in, if they are being watched for safety. It's the parents not the children who are at fault. 😡

YANBU YANBU YANBU

When taking my youngest DDs to soft play, I once saw 12-13 year olds in the baby area bullying the toddlers. Parents of the little scrotes were laughing their arses off

I have a three year old who is unable to even roll over for himself we use the youngest section when we go to soft play with his friends because he is more at risk from the babies crawling on him then there is any risk of harm from him to them. When you have a child with such profound disabilities there are few and far places that you can go and they can get out of their wheelchair and have a stretch out in safety and comfort. Maybe children like him should just stay home and not show their faces in public?

I would love to see the younger area in soft play rebranded as a "pre walker" section.

@Fionaville

Why are you in the baby area? Are you a baby?"

Love this

I don't think most people would bat an eyelid at a 2 year old being in there but really under 2s does mean babies and 1 year olds

I used to work in a soft play and it would happen all the time. We would gently remind the obviously older children that the baby area was for babies but if their parents didn’t give a toss then neither would the child! I remember one woman threatening to sue as her child had fallen off of a wall (we’d asked him to get down numerous times) but she continued to let him until he got hurt. Some parents just don’t care.

I’ve been in this situation where another parent has gently said to the older kids that “this bit is for little ones I’m afraid, big kids have that area” or something like that. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that if they’re clearly much older.

It’s really annoying and ruins it for the smaller children as generally they have a much smaller area to play in. I have been close to saying something but I tend to avoid school holidays and weekends although if it’s a decent place the staff usually say something. The parents should have some respect but unfortunately they don’t and then they wonder why their kids are feral!

Generally I agree it's annoying - same as when you've got older siblings charging around a soft play designed for under 8s or under 11s or something. I can turn a blind eye if they're just pottering about quietly and not getting in the way; I remember playing with my daughter in one of the baby areas when she was that age and a kid who was a couple of years older was sitting quietly playing with one particular toy. I didn't have an issue with that but suspect a lot of people will think I should have given her her marching orders.

I think it's standard. Parents of children aged over 3 aren't going to be supervising closely otherwise why bother with softplay? Best to go during school hours to avoid the issue. Or find somewhere that only allows preschool children. They are often more like a cafe with a small play area. They tend to be designed for parents as well - generally a much nicer environment and better food than a normal soft play!

I think children like your three year old absolutely belong and have a right to be in the baby section.

My 11 month old could not have gone in the big kids section just because he was walking though! He was just too small and would have been hurt, he was ready from 20 months but I would say the two and older age range it was meant to be would have been right for most children.

I hope you never ever experience the sadness of having a child who can't do things children of their age can. I truly do.

Sensory areas are one of the few things he enjoyed, but older kids would ruin that for him through no fault of their own through being excited and boisterous kids.

He isn't causing harm, he's literally a little boy with disabilities and you wouldn't allow him in the only part of the area that caters to his abilities because he's older? I'm sat with him the entire time, like a baby would have been supervised.

Maybe I'll find a nice institution or asylum for him since it bothers you so much 🙄

@AvengedQuince You're right, maybe it should be marked as for "under X age or pre-walkers"? That way both groups would be able to access the area without raising eyebrows.

It's a shame there aren't SEN sessions, where at least you might find some more understanding fellow parents.