Or should big kids not be in baby section of softplay

[TeeedleDum]

I've just started going to softplays with my 8-month old baby over the past couple of weeks as he's crawling around, pulling to stand and it's nice to let him play somewhere safe.

There are three around us that I've tried a couple of times and all have an under two's section (with a sign saying this). Every time I've gone there have been bigger kids in there - I would guess ranging from 4-8yr olds. They dash around as kids do and it feels quite unsafe for a baby. I have been shielding baby but have been kicked/ knocked multiple times and had my pony tail pulled. On two occasions my baby has been playing with a block and bigger kids (at least 5yr old) have come up and pulled it off him. The first time this happened I said to the little girl 'shall we maybe let the baby keep one block' and she shouted no in my face.

There seems to be no effort from the parents to supervise their kids or keep them out the under 2's section. I don't really want to tell a child myself to leave as I wouldn't want to upset them but it's hard to know which kid is with which parent.

Is this normal behaviour for soft plays? AIBU to think bigger kids shouldn't be coming into the baby section or is this just an accepted norm and I'm being uptight and out the loop?

ColleenDonaghy
Agreed. This thread has me thinking that the baby areas should be labelled as under 2s, with something underneath saying including non-walking older children.
It's obvious why a child with a disability or SEN who is unable to go safely in the bigger areas might need a smaller space where parents can be on hand.

Making reasonable adjustments for children with SEN and disability doesn't detract from the fairly well known problem of poorly supervised older children charging around a baby area, making the area unsafe

Oh for goodness sake, we all know the sort of situation OP means. I doubt she's terribly upset at a 25 month old child being in the under 2s area, or a 5 year old that is unable to walk. Children in those brackets are usually well supervised anyway!

We've all seen boisterous 5 year olds running riot in the baby area while mum drinks coffee. I'm not saying you should never relax when your child is at soft play, I'm not adverse to a cup of coffee myself!

All that is needed is some common sense. My twins are nearly 3. Sometimes one of them does go in the under 2s area (because 2 year olds don't read signs!). If I spot them heading that way I head them off and redirect them, but it's not a disaster if they go in for a second either, I just go get them. If a mum of a baby sent them out before I get to them, that's ok too. Most children that are over 2 can understand simple verbal instructions. I guess of they got screamed at I'd think that was unecesaarily harsh, but it's never happened.

My eldest (7) has popped into the baby area to speak to me when I was in there with the boys. She knows she can't stay to play and is very gentle/careful. Nobody has ever batted an eyelid about that either. Sometimes if there was nobody else about she'd stay to play with her brothers for a while.

I have DC4 due shortly. My boys will probably periodically end up in the wrongzone. But that ISN'T what OP is really bothered about. It's parents totally ignoring massive children disturbing the babies . We've all seen it

When DS was young enough for soft play he frequently went in the younger sections because he couldn't physically manage the older ones. Staff were always ok with this and no parents ever objected. It was pretty obvious why he was in there and he was closely supervised so never got next to babies or little toddlers.

TinyTeacher.
Well said! Anyone who has spent 10 minutes in a soft play at weekends or school holidays knows exactly what the OP is talking about and it isn't a closely monitored child who is 3 weeks over the age limit, nor is it an unusually tall toddler, nor is it older children with SEND who will have a parent close by.

Most people know exactly what's meant by the older children, totally unsupervised, running feral whilst their parents sip coffee, chat and stare at their phones.

If i’m out and a parent isn’t bothering to supervise their kid and their kid hurts mine or does something like grabs the block I will ask the child to give it back please or, ‘please be careful around the baby guys’. I’d never dream of telling a child off if their parent was accompanying them but wtf do they expect you to just allow your baby to be treated like that? This is something that annoys me too, sometimes I let my toddler get on with it because they need to sort conflict etc on their own but I am always watching

When our Daughter was young I used to take her to the soft play during the week when my days off were and never had an issue. I did however take our Niece who is under 2 on a Sunday and couldn't believe kids bigger than our 9 year old were in the under 2s bit. I just asked them politely to leave - I can't fathom it really massive soft play and they are sat in the 'baby bit'

It varies, you have to try different ones to find the best

In the right way, tell them to get out as they’re not allowed in there. If the parents come over, what are they going to say? All you need to say is ‘your child is too old to be in the baby area’

or, keep reporting to the playgym.

my children are 6&10. They know they’re not allowed in the under 2 bit. My 10 year old is allowed to take her 18m old niece in there, but she sits and plays with her, like I would.

tbh, the play gyms around me do manage this well, and tell the children to get out.

but you are not being unreasonable, it is unsafe.

Yes me too - my son is two but looks so much bigger! It is a constant cause of awkwardness and stress when out at such things

'shall we maybe let the baby keep one block' and she shouted no in my face’

Why are people all nicey to other children? I have had this a few times when I’ve taken my nephew out. I say strictly to the child ‘this is the baby section, leave and play in your area!’ ‘Be careful around the baby’ ‘Give the baby the block back’ I literally have no shame on telling other children. Especially if they were being dangerous or pulling my hair!

No, not this wishy washy spiel. ‘Do you mind putting the blocks back in the baby section because there is nothing for them to play with. It is also for under 2s, for safety reasons, so can your child not play here. Thanks’ direct and to the point.

When they are obviously too old, and playing in a way that is a danger to the children that should be there, I tell them to leave. ( and that if they don't I will get the staff to make them leave).
Some parents and kids just don't care, and where my child's safety is concerned if they won't parent their child I will.

I’ve found this also, I now only go during school time so that the bigger kids are all at school and find it is much nicer

Dd2 is only about 5 foot - she's 30 and she just managed to go under the bar when she was about 16- she loved being able to play on soft play with her much younger siblings ( then about 6 and 2). Dd1 is about 5 foot six so missed out on all the fun.

Ah welcome to the absolute hell on earth that is soft play there is always at least one child that is absolute demon spawn and revels in being awful to every other child there while the parent sits in a completely different area ,nattering to her mates or just ignores the kid .
I've seen many bust ups over a parent getting irate and confronting the parent if you think it's bad now just you wait ! I tend to avoid soft play now because I have absolutely zero patience for kids that enjoy hurting others

It’s better to go for baby areas that are under 1 or aimed at non-walking in children.

This thread is absolutely bonkers 😳 The amount of discrimination against SEN children and 'larger' 2 year olds is absolutely shocking.

2 year old's apparently not allowed in the '2 and under area?!'

Are 2 year olds expected to 'play' with +12 year olds and teens in the 'older area'
Where parents can't see? No no no! Scary.

Shame on you all. But as long as your PFB are ok then that's alright? Wow.