Why is it always men?

[bobcat2424]

I think IABU, I hope so but it seems as though every single news story, every horrible brutality; wars, murders, rape, abuse... in the very large part of it seems to be caused by men. Am I wrong to think this?

@Catza "There a re a lot of domestic abuse cases where the perpetrator is a woman."

Yep. They just go to a different school.

@jane1956 Reported.

YANBU, it’s correct. As always you get the ‘not all men’ ‘women commit crimes too!’ Brigade coming out but women are very, very rarely commit murder, sexual assault, child sex abuse and war crimes. There may be a more equal split with domestic abuse but in these cases women are rarely violent against their partners.

I truly believe that if any man is brought up in the wrong circumstances/society he has the capacity to be evil. But this is not the case with women. If you look at less developed countries I.e India, Afghanistan etc, men committing rape/child abuse etc is prevalent. But the women are still not committing such crimes.

I had the thought yesterday after reading the coverage of Israel/Palestine that women and children are always suffering due to men’s obsession with power/money/sex in one way or another. On such a large spectrum from a woman’s life and confidence being ruined by a man cheating to children murdered in their beds by bombs. The root of all of this suffering is usually a man or men.

😂. Honestly the whataboutery on this thread is ridiculous.

I think you are saying that we should neuter men convicted of violence , but that might be enough to calm them .

Ok we just had a female ruler until recently but anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️ continue with the victim mindset...

That's hilarious because did it just go over your head that out of 59 of our total prime ministers since the system began, all of 3 have been female? Did you not notice or something?

Fantasty Land.

testosterone, social conditioning, toxic masculinity, repressed feelings… all of it contribute.

Not one of them under Labour, but that's an entirely different matter. Just thought I'd throw that in as it's common to get off track when it suits, politically.

All of those jobs are destructive ones, causing harm and arguably violent towards the planet. Far from necessary, it's actually essential they're stopped. So I think that's an example if aggression, rather than an argument for it.

Well yeah, and the three were all extremely bad prime ministers 😂 but as you say, that's an entirely different matter....

I find this topic between sexes fascinating, I’m not sure why but I just do. Saying that, I do think this talking point is rather childish.

you’re right OP, most crimes/wars/genocides/rapes are committed by men, and it has always been the case throughout history. The average man is more aggressive/athletic/strong than the average woman, meaning men have already got a certain social authority over us. If I had to guess (and I’m no sociologist) it would be a mixture of greater testosterone levels and socialisation on top of the fact they have more mass (due to the testosterone). In saying this, I think it’s improving over time in terms of societies views on equality and the imbalance (like cases of domestic abuse and rape) due in part because of greater socialisation and education.

One of the biggest things that has bothered me recently, is the lack of care for men doing the right thing. I’ve seen on social media women (and other men) joking and mocking males that ‘are doing the bare minimum’ of being a good man when this is just counter productive. We should be celebrating those who are great rather than trying to pull a whole half of the population through the mud. My son is an early teenager and I’ve noticed at school he gets punished frequently not because he has done anything wrong, but because ‘some boys were loud in class so now all boys have to stay behind during lunch’. And it’s not up for debate because all boys seemingly get painted with the same brush of ‘boys will be boys’ etc.

So to answer your question, yes the majority of crimes will be male, but the solution to that is not punishment or to complain without action, it’s to support the ones who are kind, generous, helpful, heroic etc. Just as we would with girls and women. 🙂

@bobcat2424 So are you saying (forgive me if I'm wrong) that men should be praised and celebrated for behaving like civilised human beings? To be told they are "great dads" because they change nappies? Because I think that happens quite enough already!

Lucy Letby

What on earth is the point of looking for rare female offenders to create a false equivalence? Nobody is fooled by that

Indeed!!

Mentioning Lucy Letby, for example, is not equivalent or relevant in relation to all the male serial killers out there.

I assume that reply was aimed at me?

But to answer, essentially yes. When I say celebrating those doing the right thing, I don’t mean for simply just breathing. I meant for being a good partner, a good dad, a good teacher or a good student etc. And why shouldn’t they just like why shouldn’t women be? Encourage the good and those that do bad then hold them accountable.

If you think that happens enough already, then fair enough that’s your opinion. I don’t personally see another solution that will benefit society as a whole.

This ☝️
Yes women can do terrible things but they seem to be more few and far between. My daily interactions were abuse, rudeness or blatant audacity are concerned, guaranteed it’s from a man or group of men. (I blame testosterone and society, for clearly making excuses up for the fact they’re just men so what do you expect) They must love that shit as it gets them off the hook. Then I turn on my tv and watch the news and boy do I feel vindicated. Men aren’t wild beasts they know better so they should do better.

So why are so many of them so paranoid about not getting us pregnant ? Especially the ones with wives/partners. Why do so many of them accuse a woman of entrapment when they get her pregnant. Why do so many use the excuse of ‘men are made to pro create’ when they get 50+ and act like dirty old men chasing girls who could be their daughters, but are so careful not to impregnate her. If they are programmed to sow their seed with woman after woman (till the grave ) according to a lot of them, then why are they so careful and paranoid not to get us pregnant.

Because why on earth should they be applauded for doing the basics of adulting any more than women are (which is not at all!). I'd go so far as to say that this approach is hugely damaging, in that there could be serious consequences when a man doesn't receive gushing praise for doing normal adulting. Good men should be respected. Praise is at the discretion of the preson giving it. It should not be expected or needed to keep the man 'civillised'.

This notion that the majority of women in prison are there simply because they didn't pay for a TV licence has been thoroughly debunked for the complete nonsense it is countless times, yet still it persists.

The fact women are only 4% of the prison estate is because women, on the whole, do not offend at anything like the rate that the general male population does, however, the majority of women in the prison system are there because they have committed crimes of theft or violence, i.e. they are the very worst of womanhood.

The TV licence myth has arisen because many of these women who are facing sentencing for much more serious criminal offences also happen to have outstanding offences of non-payment of fines levied for watching TV without a licence, so for the sake of expediency, the magistrate/judge is asked to take that into consideration and permit the sentence for this to be served concurrently with whatever it is they are going to prison for in any case. Hence why you have a large number of women in prison with convictions for non-payment of fines. They are not "in prison" because they didn't pay TV licence. That is a total mangling of reality.

All types of violent crimes are overwhelmingly committed by men, the “oh but sometimes women do this” is true in that yes, sometimes women are also violent, but the stats are tiny compared to men. Violence, killing, sexual assault , these are by far most commonly male crimes.

I know a woman who got sent to prison for not paying her tv licence, 5 kids too. Our country is an absolute disgrace. All her kids put in different foster homes whilst she served her sentence (tax payers money) but you know Tory logic and all that.

There’s clearly a difference in approach in my opinion. Using DS as an example, if he does the dishes without a prompt of me telling him to, I’ll thank him and say something along the lines of ‘thank you for doing that it means a lot!’. It makes him feel good that he’s done something nice and I’m happy he’s done it. Whereas the other approach is saying nothing at all because ‘well he should know to do them’. One is a positive approach and one is a more jaded, negative one. And I agree, women should be given more gratitude too, I’m not arguing to tear down one sex for another, that would be a childish view. At this point this goes beyond the issue of sex and more to do with good parenting. I see a lot of families screaming at each other in the street over the smallest of things, that’s not good for anyone. This thread will do nobody any good if people raise an issue without thinking of a solution, and I’ve seen a lot of these types of threads pop up. I get that people like to vent their frustrations, but it just becomes people feeding off of each other which is a huge downside of social media as a whole.

If you believe the more positive approach is bad for society and bad for men, then I say do what you want to do instead, but I’ve yet to see anyone really bring anything up other than complain.

I found out that Bonobo females prefer to mate with non-aggressive and non-violent males. Can’t really say the same for human primates, which must have a lot to do with it.

All children (who are learning) should be praised for doing the right thing. Grown men should not. They are just being normal members of society. That would just be weird.