To think it’s a bit odd when teachers refer to themselves by their surname yet address parents by their first name.

[Nonplusultra]

Since the dc have started secondary, and we’ve a wider pool of teachers, I’ve noticed this a few times.

If I email a Mr Smith and sign off Jane Jones, most people will respond Dear Jane, and sign off Sam Smith, and after that you’re on first name terms. Or they’ll write Ms Jones and sign off Sam Smith retaining a degree of formality.

But I’ve noticed that some teachers will use my first name but sign off as Mr Smith. If they want to retain their professional persona, that’s fine (although in this day and age it’s slightly odd), but in that case I think they should also address me as Ms Jones. It’s especially weird when I’m old enough to be their mum.

It’s not even in front of the children. I’ve even spoken on the phone like this “Hi Jane, It’s Mr Smith from dc’s school….”

It’s only a minority of teachers tbf , but I’ve only encountered this with teachers.

I don’t quite get the ‘can’t be Mrs X to parents, only to children’ thing. Would I expect a doctor treating my child to introduce themselves to my child as ‘Dr X’ but to me as ‘Bob’? Would I expect a. vicar taking a children’s service to be ‘Revd X’ to the children but ‘Sue’ to the parents? In both cases, I would expect them to speak of themselves, and write to me if necessary, using their customary professional name.

Anyway, luckily I seem to have managed to steer through many years of teaching without a complaint about what I choose to call myself. I am often addressed as and referred to as ‘Mrs C’ (initial of surname) by parents informally, and that compromise seems to make everyone happy.

We also teach the kids in year 7 that email should be a formal method of communication and our guidance from above is to reply to emails using salutation surname; we are professionals so even if the parents sign of informally we don’t reply in the same way. I’ve had parents address me as Mrs first name before which is a little odd.

Surely you'd refer to your own title if that's how you prefer to be addressed?
Poor form according to.....? Who decided that?
At least if i get an email from Mrs J Bloggs I know to reply Dear Mrs Bloggs. Or if I answer the phone and she says hello I'm Mrs Bloggs at least i know what to call her.

As a teacher, in this case, the title is more of a work name than anything else, similar to e.g. "Dr Brown". When I'm in school I am "Mrs ..." And not my first name, so when communicating with parents this is the title I use. Especially in secondary, you are unlikely to recognise a teacher if they rang you using their first name, and also we want to retain some sort of privacy from the kids' relentless social media stalking!

As a primary teacher, I find this really tough. It’s easier if you can use a parent’s first name because so many children won’t share their surname with that parent so you have to be careful.
I start phone calls with - hello is that X’s mum? This is Ms. Y.
oh and parent’s eve! Stick my head out of the door and say ‘Z’s parent?’

I don’t quite get the ‘can’t be Mrs X to parents, only to children’ thing. Would I expect a doctor treating my child to introduce themselves to my child as ‘Dr X’ but to me as ‘Bob’? Would I expect a. vicar taking a children’s service to be ‘Revd X’ to the children but ‘Sue’ to the parents? In both cases, I would expect them to speak of themselves, and write to me if necessary, using their customary professional name
Same here. It's not about having status over another adult. It's a professional role.
I call parents Mr/Mrs Blogs and they generally called me Mrs Smiles, unless it was a family that I developed a very close working relationship with. Then they'd call the office asking for Mrs Smiles, but in an email it would end up being Dear Lola ... thanks, Tim.

I have never emailed a teacher, but I’d fully expect for them to refer to themselves as Miss/Mrs/Mr XYZ. That’s just what they’re called in school. I only know my DC’s teacher’s name because I went to school with her, I haven’t known previous ones. I still refer to her as Mrs XYZ while at school even though she’s ‘Jane’ on Facebook.
I will generally refer to someone as they have referred to themselves on the email.

Teacher here. Just a force of habit really. You get used to addressing other adults in schools by Mr XX Or just a simple Miss/Sir. Just addressing each other how the kids do and to protect first names. Even when kids aren’t around I find we fall into that habit sometimes. I really wouldn’t read into it as a hierarchical thing.

How do you know their title? If a parent signs off with their full name, you can only guess at a title. I'm not trawling through a database to find their preferred title. I'll reply using the name that they've used.

Honestly why care lol

I tend to use Mrs X to address them, but use my first name. But we get used to being “Miss Y” at work all day, so sometimes we forget. I hate it if I call myself Miss Y on the phone accidentally, as I feel silly for forcing that formality, but it’s just second nature. I have to say who I am in full names in secondary though, as the parent will need to tell their child that I’ve phoned and they wouldn’t know my first name. A lot of parents will call me Miss without their kids nearby too, I think it’s just something we all do without thinking too much.

UABU. tbh in my oppinion if you want to be referred to as Mrs X then sign your emails as MRS X. If they for some reason call you by your name the politely ask them to call you Mrs X, I truly don't think that they are doing it to annoy you.
And as for the age issue this is their chosen profession what on earth has their age got to do with it! Do you immediately think you are above anyone who is younger than you? would it be acceptable if an older teacher called you by your first name? tbh it's not something that would ever bother me and if it did I would ask them to stop.