Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you met your Dh in your teens

269 replies

Oldabondonedswings · 13/10/2023 14:23

Are you still together? How is life now?
I met Dh at 17, looking back we were just babies, 45 now…interested to see if anyone is in a similar situation.
Did your relationship last?

OP posts:
bellocchild · 13/10/2023 22:06

Met aged 17 and 21. Still together after 54 years.

MegaClutterSlut · 13/10/2023 22:06

Me 16 and dh 18. 41 and 43 now. Married 21 years

TheReturnoftheSmartArse · 13/10/2023 22:06

Met at 17, married 5 years later. Married for 31 years now, 2 DD in their late 20s and DS19 we adopted when he was 2. Don’t always share the same views or even have the same plans for the future, but we’re both good at compromise, I love him dearly and he honestly adores me 😳 and I hope it’ll be “until death do part”. (Not convinced I’d be very good with the “in sickness” bit though - I’m not patient!)

Dreamlight · 13/10/2023 22:11

I was 15 he was 16 when we met. Just friends for years, both had other relationships, got together at 30 and been together for 24 years now. Happily married we often laugh and say we should have got together sooner!

Belindabelle · 13/10/2023 22:43

I was 19 he was 22 when we met now 54 and 57.

He drives me to distraction everyday and yet I can’t imagine life without him.
We argue, debate and disagree constantly. However we are always each others number one fan and when the shit hits the fan we are always on the same side.

In some ways we are total opposites and It shouldn’t work but it does. We bring out the best in each other. We are competitive and sometimes combative but at the end of the day we work together for our family.

We both had parents who showed us how NOT to be good partners or parents so we have worked hard to break that pattern and do better.

I had two previous partners who I can barely remember. Sometimes when he is driving me to distraction I may daydream about meeting someone else but honestly I couldn’t be arsed with the effort.

He always finds me desirable. Regardless of my weight, moods, blotchy skin etc. He has the ability to make me feel amazing which is some feat.

mondaytosunday · 13/10/2023 22:59

Not me but my stepson met his wife at boarding school at 16. Broke up briefly at 19, and they went to different unis, but are early 30s now with a baby.

Roiesin57 · 14/10/2023 02:38

My dm met my df when she was 15 & he was 21. He was in the forces & they got married when she was almost 18 & him 24. Saved themselves til their wedding night & he was NOT a groomer. Admittedly both sets of my dgp were against them at first. They would not have let me go out with a 21 year old when I was 15 either, which is a bit of a double standard!
They were inseperable & had 60 years of marriage. We had a happy childhood.
I was 17 & my dh was 18 when we met. Married when I was 22 & him 23. We've been happily married for 35 years. I wouldn't swap him now, I've spent too long training him up to be the perfect husband for me 😄

Waynettaaa · 14/10/2023 03:11

Been with DH since we were 17.

52 & 51 now, been married 30+ years with 4 DC & 3 DGC.

Haven't killed each other yet 😁

LoveMyKeeks · 14/10/2023 03:19

Met my DH aged 10. Best friends until 18, had our first child at 20 and married at 22. Still together now, still best friends and happy (now 40)

GregoryFluff · 14/10/2023 03:25

I had not long turned 18 when I met DH, who was coming up to 26

Been together 17 years, married 13, one toddler DD

I wouldn't change it

Strange to think though, I've spent half my life with my Mum and the other half with him

Maybe we just got lucky, been hard at times, but had some major adventures together

EliflurtleTripanInfinite · 14/10/2023 03:40

Oldabondonedswings · 13/10/2023 14:29

Does anyone regret/feel curious about not having any/many other relationships and sexual partners?
I often if it’s not the greatest thing I’m the world that I’ve never had to be truly independent, never had to live alone for example or face life alone

I've had regrets over essentially going from my parents home to one with my then boyfriend. We moved in together after less than a year dating. It was all very whirlwind and unlike the other responses so far we're not still together.
We've just split after nearly 25 years and 3 kids.

TiredMagnolia · 14/10/2023 03:41

I was 16 and he was 22 when we met but we didn't get together until I was 23 and he was 29.

Now we're 46 and 52. It's our 20th wedding anniversary this month. 2 kids and it's not been plain sailing but we're still muddling through. I think we're a bit like @Belindabelle above, we're pretty opposite but we work. And no matter how much he can drive me insane, the only person who has my back as much as him is my dad.

Mum2aTeen · 14/10/2023 03:51

I was 18, and he was 21 at first it was meant to be a very casual fling, but we fell for each other almost instantly.
We've been together for 18 years now and have a 14 year old together.

BusterGonad · 14/10/2023 04:08

HunterBidensBurnerPhone · 13/10/2023 14:56

God. This is upsetting to read. I'm genuinely so sorry that as a seventeen year old legal child you were groomed and abused by a 43yr old man. And that you weren't able to recognise that when you grew older.
Don't think this is quite the happy, positive tale OP was looking for

Woah I missed this.

Yeah a 43 year old man and. 17 year old girl is wrong however you try and dress it up.

I know it's not in the spirit of the thread but this sort of grooming needs to be called out for what it is. Pretending 'age is just a number' or 'it lasted the distance so they must be happy' is just normalising abuse.

Any posters saying they wouldn't give a shit if their 17 year old daughter was shagging a 43 year old man are absolute liars.

I have to agree with this. What on earth could a 43 year old see in a 17 year old, except for the obvious. I don't even want to know what his job is/was at the time.

Cumbrianlife · 14/10/2023 04:09

Met at 18, married at 23 (30 years ago). DC1 has been with his fiancée since they were 16&17. They are getting married next year and hoping to start a family soon. They'll both be 30 at their wedding, neither had previous boy/girlfriends. I think they're more unusual than DH and I.

Newmumatlast · 14/10/2023 04:16

@SkippingOnSand Agree rude comments arent helpful. However, at the same time, 17 plus a 26 year age gap means he was 43. I can't imagine the majority of reasonable people thinking that a 43 year old should be dating a 17 year old so I can both understand why people may not receive the relationship as positively but also why they would feel very strongly that the obvious power imbalance is not healthy, happy or not. Though the age of consent is 16, most people would say 17 is still a child in comparison. Most parents would not be supportive of their child dating a very grown man. I'm not yet 40 and there is no 17 year old I could meet that I would be able to justify a romantic relationship with and I would seriously question my association with anyone who would if I am brutally honest. It isn't rude to point that out. I didnt see the original post though and that may well have been inappropriately put.

Lizzieregina · 14/10/2023 04:17

I was 19 he was 21. Together for 41 years married for 36. Had a few bumps along the way but he still makes me laugh every day.

ehb102 · 14/10/2023 04:42

Met at 19 and 21. Now in our late 40s. We were lucky that we had the chance to grow together. I wasn't expecting to find someone that early in life.

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 14/10/2023 04:44

I met my DH just after I turned 18 and he was 23. Been together for 7 years, married for one year and have a four month old DS. He’s my only relationship ever and I’m his only serious one (he dated other people but never lived with anyone). Personally I was never interested in having multiple relationships so no regrets there. I’m very happy with him.

Greybluewhite · 14/10/2023 06:27

Yes. Met at 16 and are married with a house and 3DC now at 33.

No regrets!

MinnieMountain · 14/10/2023 07:02

Met at 18, got together at 19. We’re coming up to 25 years together.
I’d had a few boyfriends, he hadn’t really been with anyone. It’s just kept on working for us I suppose.

AfterWeights · 14/10/2023 07:06

Dh was 19 when we met (i was 20). Together 17 years, married nearly 9, 2 kids.

I think we were both quite mature/sensible. Some people i know changed a lot at that age, i don't think we did so much and where we did it was sort of at the same pace and in the same direction.

distinctpossibility · 14/10/2023 07:08

Met at 18, together 16 years (married 14) A very good decision for us both.

Not unusual where we live either, I can think of 4 other friends who've met as teens and been together a very long time. One couple started "going out together" at 14 and 15 and are still going strong.

AfterWeights · 14/10/2023 07:08

My mum was 16 when she met my father & they have been married about 49 years.

Sunnydale1999 · 14/10/2023 07:09

Met at 12, first kissed at 14, got together at 16, married at 27.

Still together now at 40.... very unhappily. We are totally different people now and if we met at this age we wouldn't even be friends never mind get into a relationship.

Finances and kids mean that we are stuck with each other at least for a few more years. Meeting when we did means that I've never been on my own and we are both co-dependent.

Swipe left for the next trending thread