If you met your Dh in your teens

[Oldabondonedswings]

Are you still together? How is life now?
I met Dh at 17, looking back we were just babies, 45 now…interested to see if anyone is in a similar situation.
Did your relationship last?

@GreenClock did you play the field?

Met my exH at 18, divorced at 35. The one and only reason I wouldnt change things is for my 3 lovely DC. Other than that, I wish I'd never met him.

Yeah. It was fun at times but mostly a bit bleak tbh.

@capabilityfrowns What happened?

With respect - my story is just entertainment for the bored of mn looking for the village idiot to throw rotten tomatoes at and I've posted on the relationship board previously which turned into a pile on . I don't talk about it anymore. And no it wasn't an affair .

My advice - if you get on and it's not broken , don't try and fix it

Met him at 16, and will have been together 20 years next year, married for 10. We have 4 beautiful children together and couldnt be happier. We have been through so much together, it's only made us stronger.

This post is confusing to me. Other than the casual sex, why are all those things incompatible with staying with your teen love?

Mine happened to be a holiday romance, we definitely went on a first date and first holiday together (fond memories), and I have plenty of stories to tell. Some involving him, some not. I've lived on my own, moved abroad, lived with friends, hung out at university. I've attended messy parties... I've travelled lots, both alone and as a couple. 'Playing the field' and having varying quality sex with multiple partners just doesn't appeal to me. I hated living with friends and university was, fine I suppose? I much prefer my current life, going on holidays multiple times a year and going on a weekend booze break with my adult friends and DH who aren't broke so we can book a nice place with actual bedrooms instead getting gassed out by roommates in whatever hostel I've ended up sharing. No issues if you're into that, but I'm not, and it seems the presented alternative is to be a sad bore who settled for a dead bedroom.

It depends on the person of course. I grew up in a chaotic household full of drugs and abuse and bs so kind of felt like I'd been there done that by age 12. DH and I met when I was 16 and he was 19. Been together 15 years and happily married for 10, no children. DH is a quite delusional and seems to think I am the most beautiful human alive but I guess I like that about him.

I think I read that and it was a bit of a pile on tbh.

@Familyofthem it's not about the sex, it's the experiences. Travelling on your own is liberating and people treat you differently compared to a couple. People invite you to party's, invite you to their house, people go out of their way to involve you. Yes some of them may want to sleep with you but a lot don't. You lose that experience as part of a couple, you lose the spontaneity and the spiritual aspect of being alone in a strange place. Perhaps it's just who I am but I love solitude, I love feeling the slightly overwhelming feeling that I can do whatever the hell I want, when I want. When you get out of a long relationship you realise just how much compromising you did. I'm not ever giving that up again.

Met DH at 14 (he was 15). We were friends initially but started dating when I was 17 and him 18. We're now 29 and 30, married with 2 DC and very happy 😊

@capabilityfrowns Oh I’m sorry 😞 I haven’t seen that, but I’m very curious (sorry) as suspect I may be in a similar situation. If you don’t mind, would you be able to divulge it as I’m sure there won’t be a pile on on this post 💜

If it's not about the sex then why do I have to be single? I travel on my own plenty. I'm chatty and adventurous. I have friends and acquaintances around the world that I've met in bars and restaurants and airports. I prefer going places with DH, but I've never been afraid of my own company. That's one thing that hasn't changed as I've grown up.

I would agree with @Familyofthem... I don't feel I've missed out on anything other than casual sex (though I did have a couple of sexual - and lots of snogging and groping - partners from 16-18, when I met DH). I've been abroad alone, I've been to uni, I've got a huge group of mates including some shared with DH and some completely independent. We've had brilliant holidays apart and together, been to musical festivals, gigs etc with or without each other, sometimes with kids now.

DH does not meet all of my emotional or social needs nor do I meet his, and we wouldn't expect to.

Op how old are you ? If you don't mind me asking because life becomes very different as you age and companionship and getting along is more important. I'm early 50s now and I left 8 years ago and life looks very different now to back then . Shared history, shared experiences , shared interests and kids and company mean more

@capabilityfrowns I’m 45
You mean you regret leaving?

It wouldn't have worked as DH is 9 years older than me. I feel like it's creepy when you're that young, but I met him at 30 so feels different to me if that makes sense!

Yes . I regret leaving. I lost my best friend .

Met at 16, got together at 19, married at 25, and that was 15 years ago. We both travelled and studied overseas separately while dating before getting married, we have grown together but I think it helps that we have similar cultural backgrounds, goals for our children, so less likelihood of discovering we are fundamentally incompatible. I don’t regret what you give up to be in a good marriage, it’s worth the exchange! I could do with some child free evenings/nights for sex but I don’t wish we didn’t have the dc for example.

@capabilityfrowns Why did you leave? Boredom, peri/mid life thing?

Yes, met DH when we were 15, still very happily together 17 years later. We both often remark how we can't imagine having met anyone later on in life, we've grown up together and that feels like a special kind of closeness. There's nothing he doesn't know about me and vice versa.

Met age 11. Good friends from age 13. An 'item' from age 16.

We've now been together for 20 years and married for 14. 2 children.

I feel so lucky to have my DH. I love him dearly and our relationship is strong. That's not to say that we didn't have turbulence along the way, mostly in our late teens as we were growing up together.

Met at 18, parents at 19, married at 21 - Been together for 25 years ♥️

I think I was definitely menopausal and didn't recognise it

I just suddenly got itchy feet . Like I realised I'd missed a whole stage of my development out and felt it . Sex with my dh had always been a bit of an awkward embarrassing affair , lights out , sort of thing , something to get over fast , we certainly didn't fancy each other . . I suddenly had all these feelings I couldn't handle . Like I just wanted more .

And I went and left and yes I got fantastic sex room subsequent relationships And absolutely nothing more . And now I'm single , live alone , i have health issues and I'm alone with all of that . My dh moved on eventually and is now seeing someone else and I lost 31 years of shared history, friendship, kids, experiences, . He made out we'd be friends but we aren't , not really he just wants to maintain a status quo because I didn't push for a financial settlement. Now I'm having to do that it's got very frosty . And that hurts because we were a team . For 30 years we were a team . And now there's nothing. Looking back id rather have kept the team work , the companionship we had , and the laughs . We grew up together and had the same tastes in music, books, films , now I've no one to share any of that with . We were fairly unique in our likes amongst our friends . And when we separated our friends went too. My kids didn't cope well with it but we're fine again now after much hard work . Looking back I wish id not upset the apple cart . It was fine . It worked . We didn't t have everything but what we had was good . Now he has that companionship with someone else and i expect I'll be alone for ever more tbh . Nothing else will compare . And I'm used to be alone now .

If we'd stayed together we'd have just celebrated our 32 nd wedding anniversary.

That's a long time .

He wasn't perfect . I got quite resentful at having to be the "doer" and the wage earner . But the irony is if we'd just stayed together we would now be reaping the benefits of that . We'd have been comfortable for the first time ever financially, we'd have been enjoying holidays , and looking forward to retirement.

So I was stupid . And I regret leaving. And I miss him dreadfully. And I'm now a single , struggling old fool . And I've got to press for a financial settlement which will see him and my kids really not like me much because he will likely have to sell the house and he's too old to get another mortgage now so we'll both be miserable and skint .

Don't do it is my advice . Not if he's a good bloke and you're generally happy .

Love these stories