To ask What's the most pressing thing on your mind at the moment?

[girlfriend44]

What's happening in your life?
What's your most pressing worry at the moment and how do you distract yourself from thinking about it, if you can that is?

My DD’s mental health, it is so all consuming but I temporarily take my mind off things by watching reality TV and playing my sporting hobby. I also have a constant inner battle with my food issues and worrying about how I am going to sort my weight out. Nothing really helps with that.

Three things:
The issues in my marriage
and
my oldest child well-being
and
Ukriane and Israel and where this is all
going to end

wow this was so eye open for me! I thought I was super anxious anorak our financial situation and the fact that our flat is too small and we can’t move due to my husband being unemployed right now,
but if I’m being honest, those three take up way more brain space.

how do I distract myself?

I read a lot of quality fiction, interesting and challenging stuff to give me perspective on my own life.

I try to do as much exercise as I can squeeze in (not a lot but at least two jogs and a yoga session a week)

I spend time on mumsnet lol!

I volunteer for various activities in the kids school and neighborhood, I find that focusing on helping others and contributing always puts me in a better mood and gives me perspective.

If I will be sick if I eat this entire bag of Galaxy Minstrels?

Kids. Always.
Divorce… very scared. Final hearing coming up.
The Palestinian people and Israeli people. The pressure cooker has exploded and I’m very scared for the region.

Why my DS can’t seem to get an interview for any of the part time jobs he has applied for. He is at college. He is hardworking, motivated, no issues with attendance or punctuality. Reasonable GCSE results (all 4’s and above) so why is he not even getting an interview. I have checked his applications and cv and there are no obvious issues. Grammatically correct, well written etc. I can’t understand it. I found out today that someone who was in his class at school has been offered an interview for a job he has applied for but he hasn’t been contacted. It is so frustrating as he would be a great asset. We are not talking high level jobs here, think stacking shelves, stock room. How anyone gets a job is beyond me.

Israel

…isn’t it remarkable how similar all are worries are so far?

Israel and Gaza. My FIL needing a stent today out of nowhere. My mum's rapidly deteriorating Parkinsons. Whether 42 is too old for a career switch up/pivot.

It's hard to narrow it down:

1. we would like to start a family but I worry I'm too old and it won't happen for us;
2. I miss my DF but I worry more about my DM and DB as to whether they're lonely and doing ok, as at least I have my DH;
3. am I good enough at work;
4. Ukraine and Israel and Gaza and climate emergency and just general state of the world.

How do I distract myself - scrolling MN! And reading a book, watching TV, yoga, going for a walk (if I'm honest I do more of the scrolling on my phone mindlessly / watching TV and much less of the getting some fresh air or reading a book which I know would be more effective). I do do little online meditations if things are really bad and find it helps.

Money, or lack of, it’s constantly weighing me down, I have £17 in my bank to last until Tuesday, and it’s my child’s birthday coming up very soon, I’m buying basics on the credit card and can’t really afford the repayments as it is, I’m drowning in debt, all on my own, no help or support, living in a shithole with a scummy landlord who couldn’t care less.. so yeah money is the constant pressing issue for me.

…most of us worry about our relationship, children and wars. Same as women have worried about through all
time. Wonder what a list would
look like for men?

I’ve noticed in the last few weeks that I actually don’t have a biggy looming for the first time in a very long time! I think mainly because I’m on maternity leave and a lot of my anxieties were work related!

A daily one is looking at my old(er) dog and just going round in circles wondering if he’ll live forever/live to 16 etc 🤦🏼‍♀️ I need to try and just enjoy each day and worry about that on the one day it ever happens.

The other one is money and how we will be able to afford the mortgage when it keeps going up.

Another one taking up a lot of brain space just now is my self employed business and how I pay tax. I need to get an accountant and have buried my head in the sand for too long and let my receipts get out of hand so need to dedicate the time to sort that out and stop worrying I’m going to jail for that when I haven’t done anything wrong 😂

Money, or lack of. I think it will be sorted out over the next year but it's very stressful. It's all I can think about.

So interesting, and likewise to the person who said how similar our worries are.

I think some people (men) think women are mainly concerned about 'small' domestic issues (as if worrying about the wellbeing and safety of our most beloved ones is 'small') whilst men are concerned with grander ideas - I guess the whole 'how often do you think about the Roman Empire demonstrates this. But actually yes, women seem to be preoccupied with their children, loved ones, and wars - and for this exact reason don't tend to start wars.

I feel a bit overwhelmed lately with a few worries:

Israel and Palestine and all the innocent people being killed.

A frail mum who lives far away and what can we do.

I have relationship worries.

I worry about my kids and keep having intrusive thoughts at night.

But right now - if I have thrush or vaginitis or what's going on down there 😣 no distraction from that.

I'm really busy with work and kids so don't have time to think about it until I stop.

My children and grandchildren
Spiders
My forthcoming surgery
A friend has just been diagnosed with cancer
Another friend died last week
The NHS
The loss of species and habitats
Ukraine/Russia and Israel/Palestine - and the rest.

Those are the main ones, but there are more…

To take my mind off everything, I read, sing, walk in the woods, cuddle the dogs (and DH sometimes), do my witchy stuff, talk with friends, do my hobbies, daydream and binge watch my favourite SF or comedy.

I just want to get this fucking ceiling up!

I worry about spiders too.

And also what will I do if my DH isn't around and there's a spider in the house.

Just to lighten the mood with a slightly trivial worry amongst the very real and serious ones!

Marriage. How to fix it. Can it be fixed.
My eldest's schooling.
The future for all our kids - Israel, Ukraine, climate etc.
Going back to work anxiety.

To take my mind of things I snuggle the baby when he feeds (sweet baby smell, fluffy beautiful head of curls, adorable onesie). Or I buy bits for the children on vinted. I Mumsnet til I fall asleep.

Traumatic bereavement. It's like a bomb has gone off in the whole family-i'm worried sick about everyone.

The hopelessness of my young adult DC trying to pay rent whilst earning peanuts and struggling to feed themselves. Obviously I top up but it’s still concerning.

The ageing demographic and how shit things will be as fewer and fewer people try to support so many old people living way too long (yes, including myself but I have plans)

Whether DCAT will make it past Christmas.

I cope with afternoon naps, walking, and reading.

I worry about society, climate, wars, my child’s future & the state of the country most days.

Every day, I worry about my dog & the unmeasurable distress I (& my DD,she’s grown up with him) will be in when he’s going be. He’s in good health but he’s nearly 12 & I love him so much it literally hurts my heart.

My younger DDs MH and fighting to get her an EHCP fit for purpose so she can sit her GCSEs.
My older 2 DDs who have just started (different) unis- are they happy? Eating?making friends?
My DS who moved into his first ( rental) flat with GF at weekend- is it really financally viable for them- can they really afford it.
My work- I feel passed over/ invisble.
My health - my body is falling apart.
My fragile mum with late stage dementia who has covid- will she get better- would it be better if she didnt.
Mainly the first and last ones. But DDs MH is the biggest unrelenting long term worry - its true you are only as happy as your least happy child
Ive just walked the dogs and now having a hot bubble bath.

@Iguessyourestuckwithme I just wanted to say I'd seen your post. I hope you are ok 💐

@Iguessyourestuckwithme hope you're OK. Keep hanging in there.