To think life would be better without Christmas

[MyDogsPaws]

I really hate Christmas, I know I’m probably in the minority but it’s October and I’m already worried and stressed about it and I suspect I’m not alone!

If it was just a case of putting a tree and a few lights up and having your family round for dinner in the 25th I would absolutely love it, I’d start thinking about it in December and look forward to having a nice day with my family. Unfortunately it’s not like this, there is fucking Santa and all that entails, school Xmas shows and needing to get time off work for it all, the cost of everything and being skint for the entire winter because i have to spend every penny I earn on presents or visiting Santas ducking grotto, or buying outfits for Xmas parties, and all the rest of it.

Yes I could just tell my kids there’s no such thing as Santa and all they’re getting is an orange and a book this year but that’s not going to stop them feeling left out when everyone else in primary school got a iphone 15 or whatever.

I really believe that Xmas makes life less enjoyable, not more and I’d quite happy ban it it, tinsel and all, for the rest of eternity, AIBU?

I'm probably the opposite of you in that I like the decos, Xmas shopping(don't spend a fortune though), festivities, xmas concert but unfortunately we have very little family and the ones we do see arent local and don't have enough room to put the 4 of us up. So we don't see extended family. We do this outside of Xmas as it's easier with travel/accommodation.

It doesn't have to cost a fortune and I stick £10 a week aside for it. I love buying sticking fillers. However i do think it doesn't need to go on for nearly 4 months. You don't need stuff in the September.

Why not try a pared back Christmas? It’s wonderful!

In Sweden they light a few candles in the windows, have a modest small tree and gifts wrapped in brown paper.

No screaming Noddy holder, no parties over a certain age. Just simplicity, a few days before they head out to the Christmas markets for gifts, an hour to decorate just before the day and some visit the church ⛪️ Your Christmas can be just like that.

I don't see any reason why you can't adjust Christmas to find a middle ground between your kids feeling a part of it all and your own quiet Christmas.
I look back on my childhood Christmases, which were amazing, and I mainly remember the baking together, the board games, sitting around the TV in the evening stuffed and eating chocolates anyway, it's the time spent together mostly which I remember.

Christmas can be magical still if you dial it back. I love Christmas and found it so magical as a child, the best bits I remember were having time with family, watching a Christmas film together Christmas Eve, small presents to unwrap, and listening to Christmas songs as we put the tree up together. Christmas can be what you make it. It's also the same time every year so don't need to just sort it all November/December you can sort aspects of it little and often throughout the year if you want

you go to a grotto once,
you want an outfit for a party, buy a cheap one,
the school plays are memorable.
go to a church nativity
buy less presents

I save for birthday and Christmas (and any annual expenses) throughout the year, I class it as a bill and put away a little each month so I don't feel its a big pinch in December.
I love Christmas personally, more now I'm older, I like the walking around shops and towns with the lights.
I don't spend horrendous amounts on decorations etc, we're quite simple here, a tree and a few ornaments. But I love the theory of time together, guilt free.

Christmas is what you make it. But whenever you're saying how much you hate it, it will be heard by your dc.

How old are your dc?
Just spend less. Less presents, less expensive events.
Do more free stuff. Look for deals. Argos does deals. Go to charity shops.
Save money throughout the year next year so you spread the cost.

There were a few years when my kids were 3-8years old when it all felt too much. I genuinely hated and dreaded it. I bought and wrapped and posted countless gifts and bloody Christmas cards, the school insisted we make the nativity costumes, actually the school’s list of demands was ridiculous. I have been on a mission to gradually negative refuse the impact of Christmas on me, and that’s been hard to dial it back. Last Christmas I agreed to a £20 Secret Santa with dh and our adult kids. So I only had one gift to buy - it was lovely. Kids made the dinner as I had Covid - in many ways it was perfect. I still could do without it - but life’s about compromise. I particularly hate the annoying individuals who insist I should enjoy Christmas…they make me hate it even more.

How about actually celebrating Christmas rather than the commercial hype. Why do you feel the need to compete with others? Scale it down and then you can relax and enjoy

I had suggested that but it didn’t go down well - I also suggested they organised everything and I’d pay - that really brought it home - everyone wanted the big celebrations- they didn’t have the time to do it either.

Respectfully, Christmas is not the problem. Your Christmasses are the problem. They sound hard work and really don’t have to be. Christmas to many is a time of rest, coming together and peace. It’s not particularly expensive, unless you choose for it to be. Look at the Swedish person’s Christmas mentioned above. My French and English families have a similar Christmas.

I don’t see that finding an afternoon off to attend a nativity play is such hard work. Nativity plays are, on the whole, lovely things. Apart from that, forget about it until the kids break up from school. Then put up a little tree, get a few small gifts, order a joint from the butcher. Job done. The rest is just commercialised nonsense designed to make you feel insecure and therefore spend money. Is in iPhone 15 all your kids associate with Christmas? Show them different values.

This Christmas, the things I’m most looking forward to are carol services ( I have a choral singer teen so there’ll be lots of those), the local amateur pantomime , getting the Christmas lights bus in London after visiting granny, the giant Christmas cracker my mum makes for us full of little gifts, bringing home the tree and decorating with all our old familiar decorations, seeing friends for our Boxing Day walk, having time to play monopoly all afternoon, lovely food.

And this year more than ever, I’ll be praying for peace.

This. Seeing father Christmas when kids were young too. He's everywhere so it needn't be expensive like the grottos.

Unless you’re a Christian believer it’s just a load of commercialism and overeating.
We did all the traditional stuff until our youngest was about 10. Now it’s just a roast lunch, a few decorations put up on 13/12 and taken down 6/1 max, and an envelope of cash to the kids.
If we had grandchildren we might start again because Christmas memories from childhood are special, no denying it.

I love Christmas. The lights and trees are definitely the best thing and just brighten everything. However, when my DC were small I was skint (like going a couple of days without food and sitting in the dark because I couldn't put electricity on skint). Still loved Christmas. It's partly a mindset with the courage to put 2 fingers up to the rampant commercialism of it all. I don't buy presents outside of my DC and now DH (he wasn't involved when the DC were small). What shopping I do is online and even now sometimes involves second-hand goods. I don't send cards. I'm selective about what events I go to. These days I earn good money so could go to many more but while it's fun it's tiring and I could spend the money better. The trick is to do what you want and not feel pressured into more.

I understand the financial stress though OP and hope you find a way through. 💐

But it’s not like you don’t know when it is, the date is the same every year. Why not put away a few pounds each month?

Yes I agree it become over commercialised, but you don’t have to do all of these things just do the bits you want.

You don't have to buy in to everything you know.

We don't ever do santas grotto etc. My kids know full well FC is bloody busy in the North pole in december, they have no expectations that he's going to rock up at the local shopping centre and give them a shit gift worth £2.

We don't go to pantomimes etc. I hate panto.

My kids get a small stocking with inexpensive stuff and one "big" present from us. They get 3 or 4 more gifts from aunts/uncles/grandparents. I buy most of the stocking stuff in august/sept, which spreads a bit of cost.

Christmas day is a roast turkey dinner with family.

The rest of it is simple, singing carols & playing christmas music at home, enjoying watching the local lights get switched on (free). We don't do christmas eve boxes or elf on the shelf or any of that designed to make people buy tat. I don't piss money away on christmas themed bedding or cushions or plates etc.

"Unless you’re a Christian believer it’s just a load of commercialism and overeating"

Bugger off. Loads of Christmas traditions are pre Christian and are associated from Yule/midwinter feasting celebrations. Including:

• the big christmas dinner
• the tree
• lights /candles/evergreen decorations/mistletoe
• giving children gifts/sweets
• music/carols/wassailing

We aren't Christian but celebrate all the traditional midwinter elements.

It would be better were it just a get together, a meal, and for those who do so, their Church service. I think it would be better if shops other than small food retailers had to close both on 25th and 26th December, then as many people as possible could have two days off work.

The commercialisation and expense I agree with the OP about.

YABU - the world is absolutely falling apart. We are so bloody lucky to be worrying about Christmas presents.
Christmas is what you make it. It is my absolute favourite time of year and I love everything about it. I don't have thousands to spend and you don't need to.

For us it is mostly decorating the house and catching up with friends and family. We don't do Santa or the grottos. I bought xmas presents over the last 6months, they're not expensive but it spreads the cost. I don't buy extra outfits. I don't find it stressful.

Christmas means the world to me. I love it!

As a child it signified a miserable 2 weeks of school holiday stuck at home (due to a miserable childhood generally).

As an adult, I make sure the period mid-Nov through to January 1st is the most fun ever! Meeting up with friends, Christmas markets, festive coffees, decorations, presents, parties, Christmas food, mulled wine.
It’s like I’m making up for all the lost Christmases. 🥲

YABU for hating Christmas, YANBU for hating the festival of capitalism it has become.

I always feel Christmas is a retail feast with forced joy all round as an add on.

These days all we do is a small present for each teen DC. We have a family decision of what we are going to eat and if DH and I are lucky the DC will play a few bord games with us.

Same here. My favourite day of the year is December 27th