To think he had no right to tell me not to buy milk?

[notmilkingit]

Walked home from dropping dc to school with dh today. I nipped in to a corner shop with the intention of buying some milk as it was a cold rainy day where I am and I was planning to make dc and friends they had coming for a play date hot chocolates after school (5 children in total if that is relevant).

I took it to the counter to pay and dh started barking at me in front of the shop assistant that we had a litre and a half at home already and I was being wasteful. He told me to put it back, I didn’t. He then reached for it and I told him I was buying it because it was my choice to buy it.

Bearing in mind the 5 cups of hot chocolate, teas and coffees and 2 bowls of cereal the next morning for dc1 and dh, there would be very little left from a litre and a half and I have no plans to go to the shops tomorrow!

i didn’t say that did I. He sounds like a bit of a knob in general, but how on earth did a couple who were together end up in a shop, at the counter buying a product without the other knowing anything about it.

AND when enquired why given the abundance of said product was told ‘because I want to’.

The husband is an arse for sure, but no one else finds this a completely unnecessary confrontation that wasn’t solved by simply saying ‘ahh I’m doing a batch of hot chocolate’

the mind boggles - they probably deserve each other.

Unless you are putting family in debt through vast constant food waste i think his behaviour is bloody weird. If thats normal for him maybe time to think about living without it, if not i do wonder if theres secret money worries or something causing such freaky behaviour?

While 'correct', I'll agree, does sound a bit assertive, I stand by my words. I would choose a healthy discussion any day over 'tough sh!t, I'm doing this anyway'.

As I stated above, this issue is 99% around the tone rather than the sentiment. He said a flat 'no' rather than questioning why it was needed, and she said 'tough sh!t' rather than explaining her reasoning.

His 'no' is just as assertive (and controlling) as her "I'm doing this anyway". Both are wrong. Don't you agree that a healthy (although I used the term 'correct') response should have been a discussion instead? "I disagree with your need (or lack thereof) for this product... here's why"?

OP had already explained why she was getting the milk outside the shop - before they went in.

But she already TOLD him why BEFORE they went into the shop why does she need to repeat herself like he is a child

Which post did you read? It looks like it was a closely guarded secret until the counter?

Not another buying milk thread ?.

Sounds like she married one 🤷‍♀️

Not too sure why there's some snippy responses on here (though I've clearly missed all the milk buying threads) but I'd be really upset about this too.
I'd feel awful and embarrassed if my DP started telling me not to buy something and trying to put it back in front of everyone in a shop, and generally treating me like I was too stupid to know whether we had enough of something at home, while we were out in public.
I'm not saying it's ok to treat someone like that at home in private either, but behaving like that in the shop would definitely cause additional discomfort.

@BeavisMcTavish read the OP’s posts. You can tap “See All” and just read hers alone in order to catch up.

In her post, Yesterday 23:28.

Of course you can. My parents only have defrosted milk. They buy 6 pint bottles and use them to bulk out the freezer. Then take one out as necessary and defrost it overnight.

We have an emergency pint in the freezer for when we've run out and need some in the morning.

I was replying to @squirrelfeeder, not the OP

I do have some sympathy for the partner, because I don't use much milk at home but he has cereal every day et al, and when I go out to the local supermarket I usually ask him if there is anything we need, and he always reflexively says we need milk.

After coming home with a 4-pint to find there was at least half the existing milk still in the fridge, I have tried to explain that I kind of expect him to know how much milk is left since he uses it every day so when I say "do we need anything" I actually mean, DO WE NEED ANYTHING RIGHT NOW and not "is the milk likely to run out in 3 or 4 days time".

By milk do you actually mean £6k Chanel handbag?

because if you do actually mean milk then your husband is an absolute dickhead.

Maybe he prefers Oatly?

I don't agree with his behaviour but you said he is stressed and presumably he doesn't want to what he thinks, buy something that is a waste of money. Is that related to the number of children coming to yours for a playdate?

He can tell you what he likes but you don't have to listen to him. Ignore and move on

Less experienced .....did it ever occur to you that she can buy what she wants because she wants to and it's her choice 🙄

As for "telling" you don't tell your spouse to do anything. If mine had that attitude, especially in public he'd have been an ex a long time ago.

Amazing,,, literally read again very slow to make sure it wasn’t me. The OP does not say she mentioned to her husband at all!

there maybe lies the issue in people assuming others are mind readers.

looks like the milk was a complete surprise to the husband!

(he’s still a knob of course for making a scene)

Busy at work is not a valid excuse to bark at your spouse.

If you just bothered to read the OPs posts properly, you would see that she told him why she wanted the milk but he was playing with his phone and not listening.

@BeavisMcTavish - it's you.

I did tell him why but he was looking at his phone and obviously not paying attention. I said then why I was getting it too!

The first why being why they were going into the shop. She told him, as it turns out he evidently wasn't listening. Well sure, people who have their head in a phone rather than doing their companion the courtesy of listening to them may sometimes be surprised!

Yes it is you - the op says very clearly in 2 posts (at 21.51 and 23.28) that she told her husband outside the shop that she needed milk, and why.