ABIU about in law's wanting two Santa's?

[Aismixx]

It's our turn to have Christmas at my families house.. but I have just learned that we have to go to my in laws first... Because 'santa' also visits my husband's aunt?

My husband's's aunt puts out presents from Santa on Christmas day for her great nephews (3 and 8).

So the kids wake up in their own homes and open their presents from Santa 1 and then go to their great aunt to open presents from Santa 2.

It's our first baby and he will be 11 months old this Christmas.. not old enough to understand but we will be putting out our own presents.

I feel like the second Santa crosses a boundary line? The kids great aunt has no kids and has never been married so I feel like I can't say this.

1. We have a budget for 'santa' - we could afford more but I don't agree with spending too much money on toys for kids - rather buy a few things they want and some things they need.. ie books/clothes

1. I don't want my kids bragging to others about having 'two santas'.. and other kids maybe not getting many toys at all

1. I want my kids to appreciate presents and toys as some other children don't get any

1. It wouldn't take kids long to wonder why they get two Santa's? Why he do X in one house and not in another etc.

1. I feel like it diminishes 'our santa' ? And makes it a little less special for us. Particularly when our son gets older as he will be opening presents in one house wondering what he has got at the other

AIBU to say that I am not comfortable with this? I feel like saying it for the first Christmas would be better rather than letting it happen

And if she wants to see you she can see you when you’re available!

Santa and stockings is the most stressful part of Christmas for me. If someone else was willing to take over I would happily hand over all Santa duties. Just one Santa, but it's at aunties house. Job done.

Oh god and I just saw the update about how much travel for such a short time is involved. Nah, nip it in the bud now and politely decline and send a card! Imagine the trip in the next few years with an overstimulated toddler stuck in a car for hours for 30 minutes of gifts with a random relative. Save your Christmas’ yet to come, or you’ll be trudging into Aunt’s house like Marley in chains for years to come.

Just go with it! I think you’re really overthinking this and as a kid I don’t even remember discussing Santa with my friends that much anyway.

I'd let her give some presents and say they're from Santa if that's what she wants to do. But I would decide on the day of the visit and it wouldn't be Christmas day unless that fitted in with other plans.

When children are young it feels like they get loads of presents and it's excessive. But you can remove some and regift. You don't need to give an 11 month old anything yourself as they won't care so that's one set fewer presents As they get older the novelty wears off and they get less from family and friends. On the other hand they start to enjoy the presents more. And it's their presents so it's a bit mean to try to stop people giving them.

I would definitely agree to do that as it sounds very sweet but not on the same day as your family when it’s their Xmas. Could you go to great Aunty’s house on another day? I wouldn’t commit to every Christmas because when your baby is older you they won’t want to be driving all over on Xmas day itself.

But why can't these other people pretending to give presents from FC just give them normally? From themselves?

What if ops parents want to do something?

"Sorry, it's a lovely idea but it doesn't work for us "

I'd say no to this. First of all I'm an adult and hate being dictated to - so for that reason alone I'd say no. Second of all when you alternate christmas it means just that - you alternate. You can see his aunt every other year but why should you cut your time short with your family? It's unfair. Surely she can save the gifts and give them to your children at another time if all it is about, is spreading love and christmas cheer. Say no and enjoy your time with your family this year.

2 hour round trip on the same day it is "your turn" for Christmas I think is too much. She could post presents and you can go another day.

Aren’t they going to have 4 Santas? - including the one that turns up to nursery and the one you take him to see at a department store/on a steam train/in a cave etc? It really doesn’t matter.

What on earth is the problem?? You're not "tied into" anything, you're visiting this house this year so Santa has left an extra delivery... If you don't visit next year, he won't 🤷🏻‍♀️
Get some Christmas spirit and let the poor woman join in the festivities.

@FabFitFifties

This is actually just that.
I am stealing this fosho! Thank you so much for posting.. no one gets offended! 🙌

You are over thinking this
Santa visits each house on Xmas eve - he leaves presents on his visits

Our DD has Santa presents at home, MIL, my DM, my DD, my sisters and my SIL. She isn't spoilt- they would all gift her anyway, she just gets them there at their houses

Regardless of Santa 2 - I’d decline as it’s a 2 hour round trip on Christmas Day that eats into existing plans. I can’t think of anything worse just for a quick visit then another long drive with young child to next stop etc.

And then use someone else’s suggestions for how to pave the way forward with an alternative suggestion.

2 hour round trip ?
Forget it.
It's your family's turn.
How can you be still expected at Aunty's?

I think you're over thinking this. They are lucky children, just enjoy it all. We also had Santa visit with full costume on Boxing day, he came down the stairs ringing a bell carrying a sack, jingle bells sung by everyone. My old dad continues to do it even though the kids are in their 20s, my dad is 83. No one wondered why Santa was coming again(with presents from family who came on Boxing day) or why on Boxing day. The kids always said to my dad that he missed Santa's visit, they still say it. I'm hoping we will continue our tradition though probably one day there will be a daughter in law who won't approve.

I thought you were unreasonable until I read about the 2 hour round trip and the expectation it would be every year. No way would I agree to that, we used to visit on Christmas day but actually the kids prefer to be in their own home on the day itself. I would say sorry that doesn't work for us, happy to visit (on a different day- if you are) or you're welcome to visit us on X day. I wouldn't worry about the 2 Santa's thing though, that's a bit of a non issue.

Ah ok this has made me change my answer! Ignore my previous post. No pissing way would my kids be spending two hours in the car on Christmas Day. I might be inclined to make it a nice Boxing Day treat though if I was feeling generous.

Op Everybody does Santa differently, ours gives some things but delivers most things.
Mum didn't intend that to be the case but wanted to hoover before putting them under the tree.

Aunt got a lot of sympathy on her because she's childless and possibly not by choice. But I'd nip this in the bud, 2hrs driving for 30mins visit is stupid. However Christmas day can be manic, the thought of clock watching, right we need to leave to get to Aunties at 12.00 so we can be at Grannies at 3pm, and you know it's never going to be that easy, esp if you've been building toys at 3am! (I've got that t-shirt)

If it worked logistically I would play along with it. My neice and nephew have 3 Santa's, their mums, their dad's and their nanas. They didn't really question it and given how many children now come from multiple households I would be surprised if there's not other kids your child will come into contact with who have multiple santa stops. Similarly, santa has always stopped at dh family home, but also with his grandparents at their house too. As they've got older his grandparents visit on xmas eve and exchange presents then. I don't think the number of gifts dictates your child's appreciation for getting presents- you teach and model that.

I do however understand your feeling that as its your first Christmas you want to feel like it's special and you're doing that first with your dc rather than sharing it with the great aunt. But I'd imagine this is her way of sharing that she cares and also having visitors and a bit of magic on Xmas day and actually getting to see your dc open their present on a day which might otherwise be a bit lonely. So I think personally that visiting her is in the spirit of things since the idea of santa is really just showing that we care for others.

If you need to travel to see family (we do every other year) you could visit her on Xmas eve instead? Or have her visit you? You could try starting a new tradition involving her that suits you all?

I'd also ask how important this tradition is to your partner? If I got to choose Xmas eve we'd see noone but I know its an important part of tradition for dh since he was a child so I respect that.

I wouldn’t be going anywhere else before lunch on my family Christmas day. We’d be waking up slowly, enjoying letting baby slowly discover presents, prepping food and gettign dressed up and heading off to lunch.

I think a lot of children have Christmas gifts on different days.

But this isn't on a different day. The aunt is insisting on them doing a two hour round trip on Christmas morning. When they're spending Christmas with OP's family.

One of my happiest and longest lasting memories is of visiting my grandparents on either Christmas Day or Boxing Day and being led upstairs by my nan to look for the stocking that Father Christmas always 'forgot' to leave at my house. It didn't spoil the stockings left at my parents at all. It is one of the happiest memories of my nan. She did a little stocking for my eldest DC for a year or two, but then became too unwell to continue.
However, I would absolutely not be doing an extra two hour journey for it on Christmas Day if i was not travelling there anyway.