ABIU about in law's wanting two Santa's?

[Aismixx]

It's our turn to have Christmas at my families house.. but I have just learned that we have to go to my in laws first... Because 'santa' also visits my husband's aunt?

My husband's's aunt puts out presents from Santa on Christmas day for her great nephews (3 and 8).

So the kids wake up in their own homes and open their presents from Santa 1 and then go to their great aunt to open presents from Santa 2.

It's our first baby and he will be 11 months old this Christmas.. not old enough to understand but we will be putting out our own presents.

I feel like the second Santa crosses a boundary line? The kids great aunt has no kids and has never been married so I feel like I can't say this.

1. We have a budget for 'santa' - we could afford more but I don't agree with spending too much money on toys for kids - rather buy a few things they want and some things they need.. ie books/clothes

1. I don't want my kids bragging to others about having 'two santas'.. and other kids maybe not getting many toys at all

1. I want my kids to appreciate presents and toys as some other children don't get any

1. It wouldn't take kids long to wonder why they get two Santa's? Why he do X in one house and not in another etc.

1. I feel like it diminishes 'our santa' ? And makes it a little less special for us. Particularly when our son gets older as he will be opening presents in one house wondering what he has got at the other

AIBU to say that I am not comfortable with this? I feel like saying it for the first Christmas would be better rather than letting it happen

I wouldn’t going hours out of my way every year?! For anyone tbh. Not unless you was actually having Christmas there.

@JustAMinutePleass

Yeah sure... I will send my baby away on his very first Christmas.

I'm not ungrateful.. just wished to ensure my kid grows up not thinking presents grow on trees.

Santa has always brought a stocking to our house with a few keep you busy bits then the main gifts are from family and friends and they all get thank yous. I don't get Santa bringing it all how do children balance that with some getting loads and others none.

I just saw your update posts and now realise you take a 2 hour trip for this - in that case it would be a hard no with the excuse that it’s too far to take an 11 month old and your baby (in reality you) will want to enjoy your first Christmas together.

Just do it! It's nice of her to do this

@Oysterbabe

I've never heard of this but I think every parent considers something like this subconsciously.

He's not even one yet so will be mostly clothes and bigger stuff that he will be advancing onto.. bouncers, junparoo and walking wheels days are over

I’ve always told my children Santa brings the presents but we pay for them, that might help with the issue if you worrying about your child thinking they grow on trees.

I would be willing to bet that they will turn up at the father's in-laws though if they ever do alternate years!

Just say no.

If she is an important family member buy her a nice present and go and visit her on a day in the Christmas holidays. Nothing on this earth would move me to drive two hours round trip on Christmas day to open second Santa presents. Fuck that for a game of soldiers. Just say no, it doesn't work for us, we'd rather they be presents from auntie (but that your understand and don't expect anything if she just wants to do Santa)

Everyone does Santa different though.

DW growing up Santa brought a stocking and some gifts labelled as 'To X love Santa'

Me growing up Santa brought everything (as a third party delivery driver) presents were labelled.

DD got some kind of weird hybrid version of both. She never asked why she had 'santa presents' in many different houses. Just excited about Christmas.

@Almostautumn2023

I think I like this idea.

Hate seeing people posting mountains of presents on social media on Christmas morning.

Op the 2hr round trip is what would make me say no or say you'll go round on Boxing Day or 27th when you have time for a proper visit, rather than a flying visit.

Santa dropping gifts in two places, meh, kids will swallow any excuse, he forgot to leave it, found it and knew you'd be visiting Auntie.

As a pp said, I wouldn’t be allowing an aunt to stop you having your own traditions/going to see your parents. It just adds stress to an already stressful day. Having a second set of presents is a bit much. Just stay home!

Sorry I think you are being very unreasonable. Spreading out Christmas is a good idea. We always did this with our children and it happens now with the grandchildren. I think a lot of children have Christmas gifts on different days.
Does it matter that your great aunt likes to call it two Santa's? Let your great aunt enjoy it

Ouch!

Blimey, talk about over thinking something! How are you going to explain about santas at school / on TV / at Christmas parties etc? Come December, Santa’s are everywhere!
When my grandchildren first understood Christmas, when they came to my house on Boxing Day and saw presents under the tree for them, they knew Santa could come to anyone’s house!

Personally if it is your families year this year then I wouldn't be going to the in laws just to indulge an aunts wish to play Father Christmas. Next year maybe, but not this year.

No. No.

As a kid I detested having to go from one place to the other on Christmas Day. Hated it. And as an adult, it is a monumental pain in the arse. If I could live my life again this is one hill to die on.

she can come to you if it’s that important.

Santa used to occasionally forget a present at our house and drop it off at my grandparents on the way by. No big deal.

However, the two hour round trip is ridiculous and no way would I be agreeing to that, especially not with the expectation of it being repeated every year.

See the aunt another day and suck up the Santa thing as a compromise.

for My children, Father Christmas brings the stocking treats and little presents. this is for many reasons including…

1. I don’t want them thinking they can ask him for anything and he’ll magically get it for them.
2. I like them to thank the family member who got them something and that included me. and 3) as they get older they get pretty perceptive and in no way am I faffing about with specific ‘Santa wrapping paper’ so they don’t start asking why all of the presents wrapped up the same.

id just say no thank you very politely to the great aunt. If she wants to get your child a present, that’s lovely.You don’t have to do buy into the same tradition, especially not one that involves a 2hr+ trip on Christmas morning.

It's weird how many people are saying "oh bless her just play along". Imagine a MIL did this I think it would be a different story. Its a nice thing to do but just like anyone else you don't have to do it.

My family used to do this, I stopped it for several reasons,but the most important being I wanted him to know who the presents were from and to thank them appropriately. My family didn't argue.

It’s a hard pass on the 2 hour round trip every year just so the aunt can see the kids open her gifts - every other relative posts theirs, why can’t she? The second Santa is a non issue - just tell your kids that auntie likes to pretend. But the obligation to go every year is absurd.

For me the issue is more that I’m expected to attend every year and that even on “my” family years I have to go. So tbh, I’d be making it clear that I wouldn’t be going every year if I already had plans with my family, and that it’s not set in stone. As you say, this year your baby won’t even realise they’re missing it.

I do think it’s probably a bit confusing being from a random Aunt. I get when people who have separated have to have to visits but why would santa go to aunties house and not say, grandma and grandads also? It opens a bit of a weird exception but hey, lots of families bend the stories!

It’s more the lack of fairness that you have to accommodate your in laws even on “your” year, but if your family had a morning tradition I assume they’d not be happy on their years for you to skip out to your family too.

Father Christmas only brings stockings. Everything else is from who it’s from. Stops all the “why didn’t I get a diamond tiara?” business plus means the actual givers get thanked. Auntie X can have gifts from her under her tree for your kids but they shouldn’t come from “Santa”.