Not to pay for a funeral until it’s actually happenec

[PrintersCourt]

I lost a close family member recently and the funeral is soon, the funeral directors have been very helpful but I didn’t expect to be billed before there’d actually been a funeral. Is this usual? I feel a bit mean not paying but what if something goes wrong or we aren’t happy with something?

Totally normal.
I manage a cemetery and we expect cleared payment four days before burial takes place. If this doesn't happen, the burial doesn't take place.
All of our local funeral directors are aware of this.

We have just had a funeral for a family member yesterday and we haven’t had to pay anything yet. They said they would send an invoice within the next couple of weeks. The bulk of it was already pre paid, with around £800 left to pay. I wonder if that makes a difference.

So someone has paid most of it. It's incorrect to say you haven't had to pay anything.

Yes sorry I meant we haven’t had to pay for the extra things upfront such as the flowers, the Reverend that did the service, orders of service etc. I can understand why they would want at least some of the money upfront.

I’m so pleased my parents had a funeral plan. I’m buying one.
It made everything so much simpler.

So it WAS partly paid for upfront. What are you talking about.

I had to pay a deposit. About. Third I think. The final bill was given to me at the funeral.

All our parents funerals were paid up front. Assumed that was the norm.

I had to pay a certain amount maybe 40% beforehand to cover the funeral director's payments for external costs eg cemetery fees, etc etc, and then the rest was invoiced after the funeral.

Small business generally needs to start seeking payment in advance.

The civil court system is screwed.

Never heard of that.Lost my father earlier in the year and not a penny paid up front

When my dad died he had a pre-paid funeral plan which covered most of it. We didn't deal with claiming on the plan at all, the funeral director dealt with all of it. There were some additional expenses to the funeral - things like an announcement in the newspaper which mum wanted, an upgraded coffin etc. That was all billed after the event.

It's a brilliant idea, @NorthStarRising . Although the financial side of it is useful, we found it such a comfort and help to have all the details set out - no second guessing what dad would've wanted, he had told us in black and white that it was to be a cremation at X location, what music he wanted, who he wanted to speak and so on.

I had the insurance policy’s that paid for my mum & dads funerals

i showed them proof of these and they were happy to wait until they paid them direct

I think my DH's was 50% before and the rest after. A while ago though.

I work for an independent Funeral Director and have done for years. We never took a deposit up front (pre-paid plans are obviously different) until relatively recently but we found that families who couldn’t afford to pay a deposit to other funeral directors were being prompted to use ourselves instead resulting in a rake of bad debts. We had little choice, we now request all disbursements upfront. Shame really.

Thank you, it obviously varies a lot. To be clear I’ve no intention of either not paying or trying to get money off but I thought the general rule was that you pay for goods up front and services after. However I take the point that they will have had to pay for certain things up front themselves. I’ll make the payment tomorrow.

I’m also taking out a funeral plan of my own asap.

I didn’t pay anything up front, for dh’s funeral. Just received a bill via email about 3 days after his funeral. Similar with fil’s funeral, except bill was posted out, instead of emailed.

For affluent and organised people maybe.
My grandmother who died in her 80s had one and it made things much easier.
My FIL passed suddenly at a younger age with no estate at all (only debts) and nothing of the sort. Not only did OH have to pay for the funeral costs from his own pocket (we realised there wouldn't be much at all, but not that it would be negative) but had to write to all creditors to say they weren't going to get paid (small amounts in fairness) and we had to empty his flat by the end of week/before the funeral.

I imagine there are people that organise funerals assuming the will will cover it, and then find their is no estate to speak of and can't afford it.

I had to pay for DHs funeral a week before, which wasn't a problem.

Too many people have had the funerals, and then not paid.😗

what if something goes wrong or we aren’t happy with something?

Then you'd still have to pay.

I helped organise for a relative recently in Shropshire. I’m from the SE. The funeral director was horrified when I asked him the deposit/percentage that needed to be paid at the first meeting. Apart from fees that had to be paid up front (like the crematorium fee) the actual funeral directors fees were just to be paid after the funeral.

It was the same for the caterer, the venue, the florist. Me trying to give everyone money and everyone looking at me horrified and saying, “that’s not how we do things here”.

Speaking to friends who’ve organised funerals round here, that’s really unusual and most had to pay everything up front.

I arranged my DF's then my DM's funerals with the same funeral director 2 years apart. We weren't billed for anything until after the funeral.
Also arranged DDs funeral - different funeral director different area and likewise paid nothing until after the event. In fact that funeral director allowed the invoice for funeral flowers to be added to his bill so we only had one bill to pay.

I can fully understand why a funeral director might want a large deposit but I guess the fact that there could easily be a family dispute over payment of the bill means they may have lost money so the only safe way is to get the money in advance.

For affluent and organised people maybe

My grandparents were Northerners, brought up on the ‘pay a bob a week and have a decent funeral’ plans. I think the Co-op may have started them.
If you aren’t affluent, you need to plan ahead if you can’t afford to just lash out several thousand without a thought.

Mum died earlier this year and I'm pretty sure we didn't need to pay until after. What we did though was pay what mum had put aside and then paid the balance over that after, but it was our choice to do it that way so we could sort out the bank accounts.