Not to pay for a funeral until it’s actually happenec

[PrintersCourt]

I lost a close family member recently and the funeral is soon, the funeral directors have been very helpful but I didn’t expect to be billed before there’d actually been a funeral. Is this usual? I feel a bit mean not paying but what if something goes wrong or we aren’t happy with something?

My friends just paid in full in advance of her nana's funeral. i thought it was a bit weird but maybe not reading these replies

Think you have misunderstood me. I meant paid up front before the funeral by us, the are 5 of us so we split the costs.

Although I wouldnt say this those who pre pay their own funerals are always "affluent". Just organised and thoughtful.

When my DF died they would have waited until I'd received probate.

But I had the money myself, so I paid upfront.

I think it's unusual to ask for the money upfront as a lot of people won't have it until the estate has been administered (although that could take months if not years, so not sure what they do if it's not a simple process).

Was just about to post the same comment. We used the independent, local funeral director for both my parents' funerals (2017 and 2023) and we didn't get asked for any money until at least a couple of weeks after each funeral. With my Dad's (the 2023 funeral), I had to harass them to invoice me because I wanted to settle it!

Totally normal. My mum has a funeral plan with the Co op and everything that won't be covered by the plan has to be paid upfront.
There are many,many people out there who refuse to pay for services after they've used them, and unfortunately funeral directors are not immune.

Never a good idea to assume anything where money's concerned. The Local Authority has to help out with funerals if someone died without enough money for a funeral, I believe, but I can't imagine that covers more than the absolute minimum.

Not helpful as not in the UK, but I’ve always had to pay before the funeral or it doesn’t go ahead. We don’t take as long as UK for funerals either here generally, unless an inquest or something it’s generally a week tops from death. They send the invoice nearly the moment you step foot out of meeting with them and signing paperwork. You take the invoice to the bank who releases this money from the account in form of a cheque made out to funeral home from deceased’s account and you take that in. Money for funeral is able to be released immediately here, it doesn’t get caught up in any other estate debts. If there is no money in deceased account then you pay it and later when everything goes through probate you are prioritised for reimbursement above any other debt from the estate. If they have no money and no estate you pay it and accept you will never get it back or or there use the body is handed over to the State government for ‘scientific purposes’ (like medical anatomy classes) and the remains incinerated.

I just gave the funeral people the bank details & it came directly out of the deceased's estate, both the bank & the director were most helpful

We didn't have to pay for either parent's funeral upfront - and the last one was this year but maybe things are different in different places. I think we did pay a deposit for each one.

You get the invoice from them and the bank pays it directly to the funeral director.

It's one of the only payments that can come out of the deceased's bank accounts before probate.

Sorry for your loss.

My Dad died just over two years ago and we didn't pay anything for his funeral until afterwards.

The funeral director sent an invoice in the post about a week after the funeral and my mother phoned to pay it when she received it.

It looks like systems might differ quite a lot. That was how it happened for us.

Jesus wept! I just had a look on the website of one funeral services provider. Assuming I took out a monthly payment plan with them, for a basic plan, the ‘instalment service charges’ are almost the same as the funeral costs. So yes ‘organised and affluent’ I guess. Or socially responsible and financially easy to exploit depending on your view

My parents had both paid up front for a funeral package, however there were a couple of things which weren't included in their prepayment plan and we had to pay prior to the day of the funeral .

I organised DH’s funeral a few months ago ( East Anglia) and was asked to pay all disbursements in advance, which I thought was fair.
The bill for funeral director’s services was sent about 2 weeks later and payment respectfully requested within 3 weeks.
I would have preferred the final bill straight away so I could get everything sorted, rather than have to wait.

We didn't pay till after, but as both vicar and funeral director were in my parents' social circle, we may have had more flexibility than normal, I don't know. In any case, it was paid straight from the estate.

We paid upfront. I thought that was normal. And think it's fair.
Make a complaint afterwards if you're not happy with anything - but it's unlikely that you'll be unhappy with everything!

The only firm that I know does this is the coop

I seem to remember the one I paid for was a deposit up front (approx 1K), followed by payment within 30 days from the estate.

IIRC the bank was late in approving/releasing the payment, which annoyed me, especially as the person whose death it was was a stickler for paying on time !

It's a while ago but IIRC local authority provide an absolute minimum if there is no family to pay for it. We would have had to show that we were on a very basic income/UC and had no savings etc to qualify for that...which we weren't.

Today's Moneybox Live on R4 was about paying for funerals. I didn't listen, but the link is here - https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001r81b

Funeral directors are often expected to pay third parties on the day if not before (eg. officiants, musicians), so if the client doesn’t pay until later it leaves them out of pocket.

How compassionate

I thought funeral expenses could be drawn from the estate before probate?

I remember that on the invoice for DDs funeral (which was received after the funeral) there was a total and then a note to deduct a sum as a discount if paid within 7 days.

It's 50/50 usually.